New Relationships and Old (Lucian and Shin)

[madelyn]

It was evening. A little chilly but she wasn't worried about it. She was warm and that was all that mattered. For the newest person in her life was holding her close as they sat in the courtyard. The cool breeze did nothing to her with his warm hands running up and down her arms and his body pressed against hers. She sat in his lap gently her hair down, as it had been for the last while since she had met Shin. Every now and then he would kiss her or she would kiss him. It was just the way they were now. Together, after only a short time, but he made her feel so whole after being so devestated after Jonathan's death.

In her hands was a book. A small poetry book. They were reading it to each other as they prepared to watch the sunset. It had been her idea and he had eagerly come along. Every now and then she would say a word or two but it was rare. Mostly she read him the poetry in her eyes and in her heart. He knew how to read her as if she herself was merely a book and it didn't take much to get something across to him. The twins kicked her and she winced softly taking one of his hands gently laying it gently on her stomach.

"They seem, to be active today." she whispered to him in her soft voice that he seemed to like to hear so very much.

She looked up into his eyes and a bright smile grew across her face. There was deep feelings in her eyes as she looked up at him and closed in, taking a kiss from him. A soft gentle one but a long one too. Her hand, on top of his, which was on her stomach. Breaking the kiss gently she blushed and smiled up at him giggling softly as if it was a joke just between them what could make her so happy. She smiled and leaned her forehead against his and looked into his eyes.

-Read to me,- she begged him. -Just once. I want to hear a poem in your voice. -

[Shin Daisuke]

As they sat in the courtyard, their day slowly came to an end. The poetry book that was held in Madelyn’s hands was an old but well kept one, the musty sent filling Shin’s senses. He wore no warm clothing, as he found Madelyn all the comfort he required. She sat tenderly upon his lap and even read a line or two of the poetry aloud, letting the sweet sound of her voice sooth his ears with her words. He loved it when she spoke, and yet he never asked her of it. The twins kicked and he felt it through his hand, noticing the small girl’s wince.

“I think they must be enjoying the poetry” He said soothingly, gently rubbing her stomach in the hopes of making it feel better. She turned to him and placed her soft supple lips upon his, engaging him in a lengthy kiss, letting their lips intertwine with each other until finally she broke it, giggling softly. Through her eyes, she yearned for him to read a poem. Just one more… “Of course love…” He said gently, kissing the nape of her neck. He turned the page and read aloud its words.

“Love is enough: though the world be a-waning,
And the woods have no voice but the voice of complaining,
Though the skies be too dark for dim eyes to discover
The gold-cups and daisies fair blooming thereunder,
Though the hills be held shadows, and the sea a dark wonder,
And this day draw a veil over all deeds passed over,
Yet their hands shall not tremble, their feet shall not falter:
The void shall not weary, the fear shall not alter
These lips and these eyes of the loved and the lover.”

He finished the poem, whispering the last line gently into her ear, letting his breath caress her skin before gently placing a kiss upon her cheek. It was times like this that he was enjoying the most, calmly sitting with Madelyn, gently whispering words of love into her ear, and caressing her frail figure. The kind of moments he wished could last forever… But alas, all things perfect must come to an end, and tonight, a certain force would try to come between them.

[Lucian]

Lucian sighed a little as he left the training grounds the cool evening breeze washing over his body. He had been training like usual and this evening had been no different. Well except for the fact that he was in a better mood than usual, he had finally confessed his feelings to Madelyn. She had not entirely returned his feelings but, at least he had let her know how he felt. In fact it almost seem to draw them closer and Lucian was thankful for that. Maybe in time Madelyn would even come to return his love, he really hoped she would. He cared for the small girl so much and he just wanted to love her but more than that he wanted to know what it was liked to be loved. To have one person who cared more about you than anyone in the world, to have someone there to wake up to in the mornings and to have some to go to sleep beside in the evening. There was a smile on his face as he made his way across the courtyard, his duffle bag slung over his shoulders.

That was when he saw it, Madelyn...she was sitting on some other guy's lap. Lucian did not want to get suspicious but something about the situation, though Lucian could not understand why he was getting jealous. Maybe she had just made a new friend, someone who Lucian should meet probably. Then as he stepped closer, he saw it...the kiss, the giggle, the look in her eyes. That look made his smile fall but he tried to keep it up as he stepped up to the pair.

"Hello Madelyn," he said in his soft, accent thick voice as he looked down at the two. He was trying desperately to keep the small smile on his face, he felt guilty for feeling hurt that she was with someone else. More than that from what he could tell that she was in love with someone else. Madelyn deserved to be love and if she could not love him, at least she had found love with someone else. He wished dearly that it could have been him to show her love again so that he too could feel love, not just friendship love but that special deep, soul binding love. Now he would never feel that, but at least Madelyn would.

"I..didn't mean to interrupt Madelyn..I will just go," he said softly as the smile faltered some and he turned to leave. He did not want her to see the pained expression on his face, the pain at having lost the girl he loved to another.

[madelyn]

Madelyn smiled as he told her that he thought the twins were enjoying the poetry. And it might be true. As Jonathan had be created exceptionally smart, they too might be the same. She wasn't exactly sure what her children would look like but she didn't care, she loved them already and even Shin seemed to already love them. He treated them as his own already not even seeming to care that they were another man's children. He kissed the nape of her neck and she settled against him.

He began to read and she closed her eyes concentrating on the sound of his voice. It was beautiful. The poem being read to her by his perfect voice. It was a soothing voice. His hand on her bulging stomach rubbing it to soothe her and the twins. They settled down under his soothing hand and in turn that helped Madelyn relax even more. The last line brought a smile to her face as he whispered it to her, his warm breath racing across her ear making her shiver softly in his arms and giggle softly. Her eyes opened softly and she reached up cupping his cheek looking into his eyes with that look of deep feelings. She smiled softly looking at him getting lost in his eyes.

Soon though the Romanian accent of Lucian, her best friend and who she thought of as a brother, came and broke her from her trance. She gasped happily her face lighting up. Showing Shin that Lucian was someone special to her. But the look in his eyes made her freeze as she was about to get up out of Shin's lap to give Lucian his normal hug. Her face fell and her eyes became worried as she knew what the look in his eyes meant. His face hid his emotions but he wasn't good enough at his eyes to hide the emotions there.

He made an excuse to leave and she sat her book down and got up taking his hand in hers. Her eyes told him not to go. She tilted her head to the side and then she hugged him tightly. Her only friend in the world she hated that she had hurt him. Her heart fell softly. She pulled back holding Lucian's hand she brought him back over to Shin before sitting back down in Shin's lap, the cold having got to her without him.

"Lucian." she said softly looking over between him and then Shin. "This is Shin."

She introduced them. She smiled softly as her eyes begged him not to be angry with her. She did love him, just not that he wanted her to. She didn't know what else to do. Her hand still wrapped around his large hand but her body sitting in Shin's lap again.

"Shin this is, my best friend, Lucian." she said softly looking back over at Shin. "He takes care of me."

Her voice was there, her beautiful voice that both of them liked so much. As if years of silence had made it even more beautiful than it might have been, had she, or did she use it often. She smiled at the both of them and went back to being her silent self. But it would show the both of them that she trusted the other with her voice and her life, therefore they were both important to her.

[Shin Daisuke]

Madelyn’s hand gently cupped his cheek as her eyes melted into his own, bringing about a strange state of unity that Shin enjoyed. However, there was another voice that broke the silence. Another student who seemed to know Madelyn, his Romanian accent quite defined and obvious. Shin smiled as he felt the energy of the your girl lift. ‘Madelyn’s friend? I should introduce myself’ He thought happily. But suddenly, the air became almost instantly thick…

He said that he shouldn’t interrupt and tried to leave, Shin feeling the rejection welling within him. Madelyn got up abruptly after placing the book to the side, grabbing this guy’s hand and pulling him back. She sat back into Shin’s lap, still holding her friends hand, and introduced the two to each other. Shin looked him in the eyes, trying to read the source of his rejection. But he didn’t have to dig very deeply… It was plain as day why he had wanted to run away and hide. Shin’s face softened and he smiled a little.

“I’m glad to see Madelyn has someone else who loves her” He said calmly to Lucian. “She needs all the friends she can find, and you seem to care very much for her” He added quietly, gently stroking Madelyn’s arm, partially in an attempt to keep her warm as the temperature was starting to drop. It was strange that he didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. As though Madelyn made it all seem right as she sat upon Shin’s lap, holding Lucien’s hand gently. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Lucien” He said with a kind smile.

[Lucian]

Lucian sighed a little and took a breath as he felt Madelyn's hand wrap around his and stop him. Here eyes told him to stay and he would, he could not really say no to her. Well it seemed he was going to have to be polite to the boy who Madelyn was now in love with. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to yell and hit and rage he wanted to so badly but he could not. Lucian could just not bring himself to though he felt those emotions he could not express them not in front of Madelyn. Especially since he felt guilty for feeling them. This boy had given her something he could not, he had given her love that she could return. At least he was making her happy, Lucian would just have to accept it and move on. It was not in his fate to be there for Madelyn like Shin could. She could not love him like that but this boy, this Shin was there now to be the person she could love like that.

Lucian smiled a little but the sadness he felt was evident. He could not hide it, he wanted to, he wanted to be the greatest actor in the world right now and make it look like everything was okay. But nothing was okay, he wanted it to be okay, he wanted to be happy for Madelyn and Shin he wanted to so desperately. The hurt would not go away though, as much as he wanted to feel happy about Madelyn's new love he also felt the pain. The pain of knowing he loved her but she could never quite love him the same way. His was a love that was destined to go unreturned and it was a fate that he would have to accept. He did not want to hurt Madelyn so he would have to accept this new development.

"It is nice to meet you Shin," he said softly and shook the boys hand, forcing a small smile as he did, "I am glad that Maddie..met someone, she needs someone to be there for her....take care of her please Shin," he whispered softly as he tried desperately to hide the pained expression that threatened to break out on his face, "So, when did you two meet?" he asked, standing there, trying to make conversation and seem friendly. He wanted to be happy he wanted to laugh and smile and enjoy the frienship he had with Madelyn and the new friendship he would have with Shin, but the hurt it just would not go away despite all his best attempts to convince himself that he should not feel bad because this was good for Madelyn.

[madelyn]

Madelyn sat there her heart falling slowly and softly the longer she looked at Lucian. Shin was stroking her arm softly trying to keep her calm. He could probably sense the turmoil that was in her. Not that she loved Lucian and Shin both, but because she loved Lucian like a brother and couldn't return the kind of love that he wanted to give to her. She had found love. Twice now, she would have to admit it to herself, but not to anyone else yet. But the love she had for Lucian did not extend to the intimate, his was a love like family. And to Madelyn that was important she didn't have a family. Her entire family was dead. Her parents, her uncle. She was alone in life now. If it wasn't for the two men around her right now.

Slowly Madelyn's eyes filled with tears as her eyes looked down. She was being strong again. It always seemed to exasperate Lucian that she tried so hard to be strong but she had to be. It was a promise she had made to herself. She needed people around her, and she had them, but she didn't want them to find her a burden and so she was being strong. She didn't cry now, but she might later when she was alone. When no one could see how weak she truly was. Her hand stayed on her stomach her blonde hair fell down over her shoulder hiding her face from the both of them as she stared down at her lap. She didn't want Lucian to be hurt, he was her only family.

But the more he spoke the more she could hear the hurt in his voice. Her hand that still held his squeezed softly. She didn't know what else to do. He wouldn't understand right now, if she told him how important he was even if she couldn't love him on that intimate level. That he was just important because she needed him to be her family. But she knew it wouldn't make sense to him right now. He was hurt and now she was too, mainly just because she had hurt her best friend in the entire world by finding another kindred spirit.

He asked the question, she knew why. He wanted to know how fast she had given her heart away. She winced her face still hidden but she didn't answer she couldn't find her voice right now. She was concentrating on not crying and not showing that she wanted to cry so badly. She swallowed hard and waited, letting Shin answer the question that was going to drive her only, and best friend, away from her. He was going to be mad. Lucian had a short temper and he wasn't very free with his feelings but he had told her that he loved her. But she couldn't tell him that back because she didn't love him not like that. So she just waited for her, to lose her only friend.

[Shin Daisuke]

Though Madelyn’s tears did not fall, Shin felt her sorrow like a mallet. He wanted to hate anything that could do this to her, but he knew that it was something well beyond anyone’s control. He could do little for her at that moment but to stroke her and hope that he gave her at least a little comfort. Lucien asked when they had met, and Shin felt it strike Madelyn hard. She drew inwards, hiding everything to the point that Shin could almost no longer sense her feelings at all.

“We met last night” He said in a very matter of fact tone as his expression hardened into that of a serious and confident one. “We met, and Madelyn discovered my ability to speak with a person’s soul… I could see all that bothered her, and I did everything I could to alleviate that pain.” He explained, his gaze never faltering. Not once. “I spoke to her heart, and comforted her when she needed comfort the most. I don’t know what caused it, but somehow it just felt right…” His eyes softened as he decided to explain that which Madelyn could not.

“Don’t hate her Lucien… Don’t leave her because of this… She needs you as much as she does me. You are her only family as far as she is concerned, and it is unfair to disown her for that.” He squeezed Madelyn gently before carefully lifting her small figure up off his lap, and onto the seat beside him. His touch told her that it would not be for long… He stood and looked Lucien in the eyes, no hatred or malaise in his face. “If you need to hate someone. Hate me. If you need to blame someone. Blame me.” He placed his hands behind himself, leaving him completely open to Lucien. “And if your anger is truly great, then hit me. Slug me right in the face to get it out. I’ll take it in stride, and stay out of your way where I can” His eyes narrowed slightly at that point. “But do not take any of this out on Madelyn…”

[Lucian]

Lucian sighed a little and tried to calm his feelings as he could see the obvious effect it was having on Madelyn. He never wanted to hurt her, he cared about her more than anyone he had ever met. She was the dearest friend he had and seeing her hurt like this because of him made him realize that he needed to calm down. Though it was hard to calm the feelings he was having. His dearest, closest, only friend in the world was trying not to cry because of him. It hurt him badly but it also hurt him to see her, the only girl he had ever told he loved, in the arms of another man. She had told him she only cared about him, he knew she could not really say she loved him because of Jonathan's death. But then to be told that and then find out she had fallen in love with another man that was a serious emotional blow to him.

He sighed and pushed the hurt down, pushing it away for now. He had always expressed his concern when she tried to act strong but now, now he had to be strong for her. Lucian could not let her see what this was doing to her. He knew it would would only hurt her further to know how badly this was hurting him. Lucian took another breath and closed his eyes briefly, pushing the emotions down and away, letting them be replaced by the happiness he felt for Madelyn. She had finally found someone, someone that made her feel whole and loved. Lucian was glad for that, glad that even if it could not be him she had found someone.

Then Shin told him, told him that they had only met last night. Lucian actually took a step back as if he had been slugged in the gut. That fact alone hurt him horribly, he had known for quite a while now and he, Shin, had only known her for one day. He felt the hurt rise up again and he pushed it down, trying to keep it from flooding his heart. That was when Shin stood stood up, telling him not to hate her, not to disown her because of that. Lucian's fist clenched and he felt anger rising up, that hot burning sensation rising from his stomach to his chest. His knuckles were turning white at the thought that Shin would even dare suggest that he would hate or disown Madelyn for anything. If it were not for Madelyn being there he would have punched Shin like he suggested.

"Do not dare think that I would for an instant even think of disowning or hating Madelyn," he said in a low, angry voice, letting go of Madelyn's hands to grab and hold Shin by the shirt. He grabbed with both hands pulled him close so that their faces were almost touching and his eyes were narrowed in anger, "I would never abandon her...but you do not know how bad this hurts me. I will get over it eventually but for now this hurts badly. You have only been in her life for a day...I have been in her life for much longer and for you to even suggest that I would think of hating her.....you should thank whatever god you believe in that she is here or I would have hit you for that...." he said, his voice still low and still angry.

"I would never blame Madelyn," he said, letting Shin go and stepping backwards, "But do you have any idea what it is like to be in someone's life for a long time and then confess your love to them and have them tell you they cannot say they love you and only care about you. Then that same person meets someone and knows them for only a day and falls in love with them," he said as he shook his head trying to keep the hurt down and took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment again, "I am happy for you Madelyn...I am glad you found someone, I should go...I should not have ruined your evening. It was nice meeting you Shin..." he said and bowed slightly and politely and stood there for a second. He did not want it to end on that, but he did not know if he should be there any longer. Lucian did not feel like a friend anymore, he felt like an intruder, like he did not belong there anymore.

[madelyn]

Madelyn felt Shin trying to help her feel better, comforting her while she was trying to be strong. There he lifted her up and she looked up at him as he sat her down to the side and promised her with his touch and his eyes that it wouldn't be for very long. She nodded softly as he turned to Lucian begging him not to hate her. Telling him not to blame her and to still be there for her. She smiled softly but it was hidden beneath her hair, because she didn't want anyone to see what defending her had done. No one, had ever tried to defend her like that. No one really stood up to others for her.

The Lucian rushed forward and letting go of her hand he took Shin's shirt. She gasped and stood up. Lucian began laying into Shin and Madelyn gently lay her hand on Lucian's and looked into his eyes. He had finished talking by now and he let go of Shin. She looked at Shin asking for a moment as she gently took Lucian's hand and led him several feet away. She sighed for a moment and looked up at him taking both his hands in hers. She could see in his eyes that he was hurt. Gently she placed her hand on his chest, right over his heart and then touched her own heart.

"Lucian." she said softly. "You are, my best friend. To me, you are my family. I.. don't have a family anymore. My mom and dad.. are gone. And I am alone. I have no one else. No siblings or relatives. To.. find family in someone else, is.. hard. Because.. you know.. how hard for me it is.. to trust. You are, someone, that means so much to me. I do love you. But I.. love you as .. as a brother!" she said.

It was the most she had spoken and the only reason she spoke was so that he would know just how important he was to her. She hugged him gently closing her eyes and nuzzling into his chest. Inhaling his soft scent and smiling as she memorized it.

"Luc, I need you with me. You are, the only person that kept me together through Jonathan's death. The person I can go to, run to, be with when I'm in trouble or in pain. You chased away the nightmares and gave me my laughter back. You healed me." she whispered. "I can never forget that. I'm not letting you go. Not ever. If you want to leave, then go, but I .. I will see you tomorrow, and the next day.. because you are too important for me to give up on."

That was the most Madelyn has spoken in her life. With a kiss on his cheek she sighed softly and squeezed his arm softly and headed back over to Shin slowly. Her face pointed at the ground and her eyes filling with tears as she looked at shin a few slipped out of her tight control and fell down her cheeks. Her lower lip trembled and she shook softly trying not to give in to her tears.

[Lucian]

Lucian could not help but sigh sadly as he felt Madelyn's on his chest stopping him. He looked down at her and just shook his head. He could not even look at her without the feelings welling up. She told him what he already knew, that she loved him but not like she loved Shin. He was not only inferior to Jonathan now but he was also inferior to Shin. There was something he did not have, something that made it impossible for her to love him as anything more than a brother. Lucian almost growled angrily at it as she told him he chased the nightmares, healed her, and everything. Yes he was just so wonderful but the only problem was she could not love him. His fist clenched against as he started feeling angry, his knuckles turning white as he looked down at the ground. He was the one that kept her together during Jonathan's death, the one that she could run to when she was in trouble or pain, or so she said. But she could not love him, she could love Shin...but she could not love him.

"Madelyn...if I can do all those things that why can't you love me?" he asked, his voice shaking a little as his fists clenched even harder, "I was inferior to Jonathan and you could not love me because of his memory and now...now I am inferior to him, to Shin...." he said as he looked down, a single tear sliding down his cheek, "If I am responsible for doing all those things in your life....well what good am I now Madelyn...Shin he's the person you'll run to now. Shin is the one you'll wake up next to in the morning, he'll be the one to chase away the nightmares, he'll be the one you'll run to now...I am useless," he said and then turned away, "Inferior..." he whispered softly, "I guess it's just my lot in life...to be second place," he said with almost a bitter laugh

"I want to...I want to be happy for you Madelyn I do...but it hurts so much," he said his back now to her and Shin, "I still care about you Madelyn I really do..but..I just...I...I," he faltered, trying to say something but there was so much he wanted to say and the hurt and anger rising up in him was making it so difficult, "don't know what to say or do..." he said and then took a step away, "I want to be there for you Madelyn," he said and then turned to face them again, "But it this hurts so bad Madelyn..." he whispered, another tear sliding down his cheek. He did not want to cry, it made him feel weak to let his emotions be exposed like that but he could not help it, it needed to come out. There were so many emotions bottling up in him they needed to come out, he normally would have relieved them through anger and training but he could not be angry, not here in front of Madelyn, not when she thought it could be at her.

[Shin Daisuke]

Lucian grabbed Shin by his shirt and growled at him, demanding that he would never do such things to Madelyn. Shin’s expression did not change, as he stood limp in the Romanian’s grip. He waited for those white knuckles to crash into his cheek, but they did not. Madelyn placed her hand upon Lucian’s, and he released Shin, telling them he would leave as he walked away from the two.

Madelyn followed him, asking Shin to stay back while she spoke to him. He couldn’t hear her voice, but he could see that she poured her heart out to him, speaking more than he though she could muster. ‘Regardless of what he thinks… That man is extremely lucky’ He thought in silence, wishing he had some magic dust to make it all just fix itself. But he didn’t, and things only seemed to get worse.

As Madelyn started to walk away, tears welling in her eyes and her bottom lip quivering as she resisted crying with all her might. Shin began to move towards her, hearing Lucien’s return as he clenched his fist and talked himself down to her. As he turned away and spoke so harshly, Shin reached Madelyn and wrapped his arms around the small girl, holding her into his chest and trying to sooth her, though he realized it was most likely futile. He stroked her back as he listened to Lucien speak out in anger. As he turned, and said the last of his piece, Shin gently released Madelyn, walking over to Lucien and standing close to him.

As Lucien stared at Shin, a sudden movement came to pass, and Shin slapped Lucien across the face. “It must be so nice to just be able to throw your arms in the air and say that you are no longer needed… But you are needed… You may not be there for her at night… But there are things that she can confide to you that she could never say to me. Times that I cannot reminisce about with her. You say you’d never leave her alone, but look what you are doing to her now!” Shin shouted the last sentence, resisting the urge to point at the poor girl as he did so. “You claim to want what’s best for her… But all I see you doing is being selfish…” He sneered slightly. ‘I’m sorry Madelyn… But it’s easier on him if he has a bad guy to direct that rage at’ He thought silently as he stared intently at Lucien.

[madelyn]

Why was it when something good came along.. something that could lift your spirits and make you think.. that maybe.. just maybe there was a God. There was someone that knew what you had been through and said 'hey, she needs someone'. Why was it that a young silent girl from Kansas could never find and actually keep happiness? It was as if as soon as one good thing came into her life another left. She could never have more than one thing. Nothing that could make her smile all the time. Tragedy and grief seemed to follow the young girl as if it was a small cloud over her head raining every time she got just a little too happy.

And now, walking back to Shin Lucian began to speak. She closed her eyes and froze shaking as she listened to every hurt and angry word. She winced as Shin came and pulled her into his arms holding her against his chest. Lucian got more and more hurt and bitter. And she knew that he was right. Deep down, she knew she wasn't worth happiness. If she was, then she would be like Phae or some of the other girls that could go around with bright smiles on their face surrounded by friends. Shin left and Madelyn stood there. Just staring off into space indecision in her heart and mind. What was she doing? To love Shin was to certainly doom him. Because, everyone that loved her died.

It was true. Her mother and her father. They had loved and cared for her. Murdered in the night, she was to live on her own. Her uncle had not loved her, as evident by her body, but even then, he was gone now. Jonathan having killed him, when he tried to kill her. And then Jonathan, her first love. The man that like Shin had stolen her heart in a day. Gone. Died in her arms while she held him tight singing a love song to him in German. A song that she wrote as well. A lullaby for their children that would come one day. Every person she loved had died, no one, had survived. What if it was that she was cursed. Was it that she could not be with anyone. Was she destined to be alone?

The slap brought her back to reality and Shin gave Lucian a piece of his mind. Madelyn didn't turned. Her back was still to them so they wouldn't see the anguish on her face. Shin might read it and know that she was falling into despair realizing now.. that perhaps she was indeed cursed. She shook softly and glanced ahead not really seeing anything her eyes.

"Stop. Just stop." she said forcefully. Her voice seemed void.. just void of everything.

"Why do you want to love me? Don't you understand? Don't you realize what I am? I'm a curse! A stupid girl that is destined to be alone. Everyone I love.. they die! They all die and I'm alone. I'll .. always be alone. I"m worthless. I can't love anyone. They die."

She began to cry. Trying to run away. She began to run her eyes blinded by the tears she tripped over a limb of a tree falling to the ground she couldn't move. Her body shaking with the silent sobs and tears. Her body curled up as much as it could around her stomach as she cried. Huge racking sobs her cried now not silent as they rang out in the courtyard.

-Why.. why didn't they kill me twelve years ago.. then .. then I wouldn't be cursed. I want to love.. I want to love so badly. I want to be in love and feel love. I deserve love. Why is it the everyone dies?-

[Shin Daisuke]

Shin cold feel the fear coming from her. He knew the anguish she was feeling, but even he was not prepared for what happened next. She cried out and ran. She ran and tripped, falling over a root and stayed there shaking as her mind was thrown into turmoil. He dashed off towards the tiny girl. His mind raced as he feared the worst now. He had hoped to hell that she wouldn’t feel the brunt of what he had done, but it was obvious that it was enough to send her over the edge. ‘Roll with the punches Shin… Figure out what’s the best thing for her here, and make sure it gets done.’ He thought to himself as he came to a stop next to her.

“Madelyn… You’ve got to stop thinking like that…” He told her quietly, gently placing an arm on each shoulder and lifting her up into a sitting position. Her face now had tear soaked eyes and wet cheeks that were covered in dirt from her trip, and so Shin gently began to wipe them clean. “You’re no curse… You are a beautiful young woman whom I love very much, and who has Lucien who still loves you too…” He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her softly, a single tear falling from his eye as he did so. “I don’t care if bad things have happened before… I won’t let them Madelyn… I won’t let you be hurt again…” He stroked her back gently as he held her there, not daring to move from that spot with her. He wanted to let her feel grounded. An attachment to the world again.

“Are you alright?” He asked softly, now addressing the fact that she had come down rather hard. “Are the twins alright?” He added, showing genuine concern for both her and for her two unborn babies. He couldn’t stand to see her so distraught, and he knew that he had been a part in bringing about the problem. He just wanted to give Lucian someone to hate, so that he could go back to showing Madelyn how he did indeed love her. But doing so in front of Madelyn was his undoing. “I’m so sorry…” He said in a sad tone as he held her carefully. “So sorry…”

[Lucian]

Lucian just stood there that was all he could do. His head cocked to the side a little as Shin slapped him. The slap was nothing, not that Lucian could feel anything right now. Shin's words had rocked him to his core. Lucian shook gently as he thought of what he had said to Madelyn was a bastard, a hypocrite, he did not deserve any love Madelyn had for him at all. He was not worthy to be her friend, let alone considered her family. The things he said, they could never be un-said they were there now. He did not even feel angry at Shin right now, how could he feel angry when the man was right? He shook his head a little as he looked down, not looking at Madelyn out of pure shame. Lucian did not deserve Madelyn, but here she was trying to keep him. She had happiness, she had a brother and someone she could love with out feeling guilty about Jonathan. Why would Lucian ever want to even consider intruding on that?

That was when he heard Madelyn talk forcefully and he looked up, shock written all over his face. He had hardly ever heard Madelyn talk, let alone so forcefully. But then she started talking talking about how she did not deserve to be loved. Lucian felt like a dagger had been shoved into his heart, this was his fault. He had caused this pain for her and he sunk to his knees, guilt and anguish written all over his face as he watched her try to run and then trip. He had failed her, he had failed her as a friend and a brother. Lucian was a vile disgusting person right now and his own jealousy and selfishness had caused his hurt in Madelyn.

"Madelyn," he said softly as he moved to his feet and walked slowly towards the two, his eyes downcast, "I cannot even tell you how vile and disgusting I feel," he said his shoulders shaking slightly as he was utterly ashamed of himself, "I have failed you as a friend and a brother Madelyn and there is no excuse for that," he said, his voice soft, "I am sorry Madelyn...I will understand if you never want to see me again, I am a horrible friend," he whispered softly, "But...I want to be there for you Madelyn...I want to be your brother...if you will have me," he whispered as he took another step towards the two, eyes still downcast, "It still hurts Madelyn and it will take me sometime to get through the hurt but I am happy for you, you found someone, someone to love and who loves you like you deserve to be..." he said softly and looked up with a small smile, "I just hope that I can still be here for you, if you want me to be..." he said, taking another step so that he was within arm's length of the two.