Puddle (Phae)

[Phae]

Those words hurt Phae almost more than the kiss. Yes, the kiss had shocked and hurt her because he had shown no respect for her then technically called her easy. But this was hard for her to hear. She had worked so hard sat up with him for hours that night when he had gone from cold to warm. The night he had decided he was worthy of feelings and worthy of friendship and love.

Tears rolled down both their faces. Real Phae's falling onto the bed as she lay where Jun had placed her. She was upset very upset at how deeply those words had cut her. The tears rolled off the astral Phae's cheeks as her blue eyes looked into his violet ones.

"Don't say that. Don't turn yourself away from the warmth. You worked too hard for that. WE worked to hard for that. Don't close yourself off again. That would hurt me far worse than a kiss." she told him her eyes pleading with him not to go back to the dark. She knew that Jun was pissed hell she was hurt but she didn't want him resorting back to a life of darkness and cold.

"I don't even know what the kiss meant. Tell me Onira, what did it mean? Why did you kiss me?" she asked and pleaded with him.

[Onira]

Onira's gaze returned, no longer broken or nervous as it had become for only a second infront of Phae's eyes. No. It was the look of a man. Not a little runt like Onira had been acting like earlier. It was the look of one who was decided. One who was more confident in his actions than any time before. One who was prepared and ready.

"I've told you. The kiss meant nothing. It's just me. It's just stupid, pathetic me. So just back off."

Onira's eyes showed confidence, as did his voice. But deep down, Onira was lying, and he felt bad for doing it. He knew what the kiss meant. It was love. His love for her. But even so, he couldn't be so reckless. Not again. He wanted the love between Junpei and Phae to last. To hold strong. However, deep down, he knew he had just destroyed one of the pillars. Brought down one side of the love, and weakened the emotional structure. And it hurt him so.

Onira placed his palm against the wall and a light lit up, soon dissipating to reveal a door-sized hole. He let his hand rest at his side once again. Onira-about to step out of the hole-spoke in barely a whisper, so that Phae would hear his last remark. His words deep yet soft.

"A kiss always means 'love'."

He walked out.

[Phae]

Phae heard the first words and though they hurt she knew that there was something not true about them. In the way he had come into the room that day the way he couldn't speak. She knew those words were a lie and that Onira was neither stupid nor pathetic but that there was something deeper. Her standing in the way he decided to create his own exit.

But before he did he said five words that stopped her heart in it's tracks. Love...he loved her. Oh God...her heart stopped and so did the tears Phae's real body breaking out in shudders. How was she going to deal with this. What was she going to do now? Had she done something that caused this? What in the world was the right move to make. She didn't want to hurt him. Not at all. He had hurt her deeply, very deeply and Jun was likely to kill him soon if he crossed paths with him again. But a confession of love was the last thing she had expected.

After all the hateful things he had said since the kiss it had apparently been a coverup for the true feelings he could not convey. But now he had and now he was gone. The astral Phae faded and disappeared and real Phae pulled herself into a fetal position on the bed grabbing the pink puppy that always sat there and began to cry.

She was lost as to what to do. Hurt. Angry. And confused. All these emotions came out in her tears.

[Junpei]

((ooc: Last post for 7 days T_T))

IC: JUnpei was lost, so so lost that he couldn't help but be angry. He was angry at Onira for having kissed his Phaedra, for having even touched her at all now. ON a basic level he feared she would leave him, on that same basic level he was protecting what was HIS. She was his, he was hers, they were together and ONira... Onira tried to break that. The next time Junpei saw Onira it would not be on friendly terms, it would be on ter,s he set and on terms were Onira might not walk away with his body FULLY intact.

As Onira made the hole and left Junpei watched his love disappear and he already knew were she was, on the bed, crying. he smell of salty water hit his nose and, completely ignoring the open door and the hole in his wall, he landed next to Phaedra on the bed and was with her.

"Phaedra, Phaedra... I'm so sorry..."

Junpei didn't know what he was sorry for, why he was sorry, he just knew she was in pain and he was unable to protect her, at all. Know, he knew why he was sorry, he was sorry for not having been here for her when she needed him, when she really needed him. Gods how he was sorry he hadn't been here faster.

"Phae... I... I... I can't stay here. I'm sorry Phae... I'll... I'll be back when I'm ready..."

With that Junpei Taltos gave the love of his life one last kiss, one last sweet and gentle kiss on the forehead and turned. He knew he was hurting her, but he couldn't stop himself from leaving, probably for about a week, and he couldn't keep himself from breaking into a dead run before she could catch him. He would easily out pace her and soon... soon he would be gone, leaving the academy behind for the time he needed to do what he needed to do.

((ooc: Be prepared for a very different Junpei when I come back. Turns out this is the perfect chance to make his big change. ))

[Phae]

She felt the weight of Junpei on the bed and all she wanted in this world at the moment was for his arms to wrap around her. To tell her it hadn't been her fault that she hadn't led Onira on in some way. To tell her that he understood and loved her that he wasn't going to leave her that he had faith in her. She longed for these things more than her life but what did happen was not what she expected.

His words seemed to slice through her very being. Already upset and torn by what to do about Onira and now...now he was leaving her at the exact moment she needed him most. This was the moment than she could see herself needing him more than she ever would in her life and he was doing the one thing he had promised never to do. He was leaving..leaving her alone. As she heard his steps retreat she sobbed loudly her whole body shaking as the tears ran from her face pooling in the covers of the bed.

2 Hours Later

Phae sat alone in the dorm room that her and Junpei shared. She sat on the very edge of the bed staring at the floor. She was not staring at anything inparticular just staring because she had nothing better to do. She was losing herself and she didn't care. She didn't try to fight it. She moved to the desk pulled out several sheets of paper and began to write. A poem taking shape writing down what was in her head, heart, and soul.

After several minutes of writing the poem was done...

I walk through the darkness of my mind,
here in the dark it is the only place I belong.
It is here I walk through the empty caverns of my mind,
I can hear the drip drop of my soul as it slowly slips away.

It is here I have retreated when my heart died,
the day you left I felt the fragile glass crack.
As the shinning pieces fall through the darkness
I see your face reflected in their depths.

I shiver in the cold
Where has the warmth of your presence gone?
the chill is harsh and constricting my life seeps away
lost to the depths of the closing darkness.

To survive without you
is to ask for my soul
it is this that drips down above me
will I ever be warm again?

She then made three copies. One for herself to keep with her forever in her pocket, one in the book she was currently trying to read but failing miserably, and one on black paper and silver ink was left in the middle of the desk for Junpei to find when he returned. He would have no doubt what had happened to his supposed love of his life when he had left her.

Why couldn't he have taken her with him? Now, here she was having to deal with Onira on her own plus Junpei's leaving. She wasn't calling him Jun in her mind right now because it hurt too much. She didn't know if what Onira had done had destroyed what Junpei had felt for her but she was already losing herself and already willingly walking into the darkness.


She stood up and looked out the window with truly vacant eyes. She left her sword where it was having no want for it right now which for Phae was huge she never went anywhere except on dates with Junpei without it. She went through the still open door and slammed it shut behind her tears leaking from the once blue pools of her eyes. Her once bright eyes were now red and somehow darker. The absence of any emotion besides pain she went onto the roof. She walked to the edge and sat on the three foot high wall her legs dangling over the sides as she looked down at the academy below.

What would happen if she jumped? If she just ended her life..the pain..the anger..the betrayal all at once? Problem was she wouldn't die. They would save her and she would never be able to move past this. She sat there staring down at the academy lost in her mind.