Notes of a Dying Heart (Winters)

[madelyn]

Once a very silent man now suddenly under her kisses and her touches she was making him extremely vocal. The thick love in the room seemed to hang around them. She could feel it all around them. She looked up into his eyes and she let him know right then and there that her love for him went deep. His moans only made her want to do more. Made her want to hear his beautiful voice that angel.. the one that had saved her life saved her world. The way that he told her he loved her. It sent her heart a flutter. She blushed.

She felt his wonderfully soft hands grab hold of her gently helping support her and press her against him. His right hand came up and touched.. touched his beautiful angelic hands carressing her bare skin. She gasped at the touch. Her breast in his hand. She could feel the creases in his hand on her soft and supple skin. His eyes they looked right at her. No.. they looked right thought her. Into her very soul. And there he would see so many things. Her love, more than anything else filled her newly given soul. She closed her eyes slowly as his lips and this tongue carressed the soft never before touched skin of her breast. She moaned into the air. Her whispered moans seemed to carry farther and farther. She ran her hand through his hair gently. She loved the way it felt running through her fingers. A long drawn out moan escaped as his lips kiss her.. kissed her hardened bud. She could feel his hand moving her body up and down slowly and slightly her arrousal even coming more now as her moans came more frequent the bulge beneath her rubbing her most sensitive spot slowly. Up and down up and down ever arousing ever fulfilling driving her closer to the ultimate end.

The cold metal of his cross made her gasp her eyes shooting open as she looked down at him. She loved him so much and he was so perfect in every way. Her name.. it left his lips and floated on the breeze heated by their passion and love and hit her gently causing a moan to utter forth from her pale lips. She could feel the lust in his movements and it only drove her more. Towards the edge.. she was getting so much closer so very close as his hands moved her up and down his length slowly and gently as his other hand devoured her flesh. The cross yet again she arched back against him a long moan coming from her mouth. So vocal now in the throws of his love. Under his touch under his gaze. He let his cold torture device go and her eyes opened looking at him the lust, desire, love, and passion all heavily written in the facets. Her name again uttered from his beautiful mouth and she moaned back again. His voice alone was enough. He began to lower her further and further she kept her eyes on him trusting him completly. Suddenly he pulled her up and a loud moan escaped. None of the whispered moans from earlier but a full on loud moan that seemed to resound off the walls as he thrust her back up. She noticed the blush and in turn she blushed too. Her face turning a pale red as she never dreamed she would ever be here in this kind of embrace.. position.. feeling the feelings he was sending and giving her. This mutual attraction in one day had gone into full love and now they were going to take it and show it in the most beautiful way possible.

He spoke again and the question made her eyes grow wide. Of course she wanted to. Why not? To show her love for him in the most passionate and complete way she could think of. She looked up at him as he thrust her up his length again another moan escaping her already heated body.

"Yes.. I do.. for you.. my love." she said softly as she smiled up at him.

Faster and faster he rose and descended her on his bulge. Riding up and down she leaned back slightly letting her arms hold her up around him. Never had she felt the touches that her angel was giving to her. Gifting her with a soul was not enough for this man. No, he wanted to gift her with a life that she had never had before. He was giving her everything she could have ever dreamed and beyond that. Alone at night staring up at the stars she had always wished that she could share it with someone. That they would hold her gently like the people she had seen on tv in those brief glimpses. Her life never even close to what happened in movies always alone.. hurting.. inside and out. But this man had come to save her and she would never be able to thank him enough.

Her name screamed again. She moaned again as he pressed her up against him her lips carressing the long bulge between them. She was so close to the edge in danger of slipping over. Her eyes shot open as she looked at Jonathan. Her angel and the love of her life. The man that she wanted to spend eternity with. Yes in one day.. no less.. she had fallen hopelessly in love with him. He was it. He was the one. And he was perfect.

"Jonathan!" she called out loudly her voice accented by the heat and lust that ran through her. She moved up pressing her lips against his and slipping her tongue back into his mouth. She moved it around carressing his teeth massaging his tongue as she longed for the next step. The final step. The one they would make together. Forever.

Her love for him would never die. Transcendent. It was used when you found that true love. The moment you just clicked and nothing could ever change that. They had become the other half of each others souls. Giving and taking. Together they were one. Together they were strong. And together they were in love.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

Lust. Passion. Love. More. A feeling that was more, and yet all of these emotions. She was calling his name... he had to deliever. Almost there... he was almost there.... but, he had to be sure he got her there with him. A bed.. they needed a bed. Oh God... they needed one--- his eyes lighting up, his breathing absolutely at its limited, going faster and faster, he looked at her. He needed her to trust him for a bit. Quietly, he calmed himself down a bit, closing his eyes, his heart beating slowing down.. he wanted it up... but..

... Activating... Codename: "Ghost"...

Suddenly, he could feel it... the room around them suddenly become a bluish hue, as 'Ghost' activated. He looked around at her smiling, never stopping the movement. A fire, and no water to be found anywhere. His feet seemed to carry him to the door on his own, his breathing quickly speeding up again, holding her firmly towards him, hesitating for a moment, as he stopped the up and down movements. His right hand shot towards the door, opening it with a gusto, stepping back expectantly, to avoid getting Madelyn hit, he nodded with her, rushing to her door, in a few strides, twisting the knob, and bursting in. They were in her room now. Quietly, now, he looked at her. All movement stopped, even as he pressed her closer to himself, his hands holding her tightly, tightly, never wanting to let go. Castles may crumble. Mountains may die. But what he held in his hands... what he held in his hands... God had given this to him, to her, to both of them. It could not be destroyed. It could not be taken away. No matter how little time he had left, no matter who could ever possibly try to stop them. Harder then the strongest stones, stronger then diamonds, longer lasting then the stars that shown brightly in the sky. An overly common word often used to describe it as 'love'. But to the depths of such a simple word.. what was in the back of his eyes, as he looked at her... it was the true depths of what the word really ment. To what this truly was... to be put so simply... he loved Madelyn... he loved her so much. It was incredible to think that God could love her more then him, but, she was a blessing to him.. and apparently, him to her, as impossible as that seemed to him. The true linking of souls. No matter what.. even if he died... he'd find a way to come back to her. Perhaps God wouldn't approve... perhaps he would. But for something he cherished so much, more then his own life, as limited and terrible it was, he could at least try to give her the last gift he could before he died. Tears fell from his eyes, his whole body shivering. I love you, Madelyn.

She wanted to share her life with him, to share her soul with him, and he wanted to share with him with her everything he could, to give her his strength, to be able to be that angel she thought him to be. He had to be. Edging closer to the bed.... he could not help but think this so much. Life... it was so precious. To this end... no matter how soon his fire would be extinguished... he wanted to give her something... so that he'd always be there for her. ... And when her fire was done... he'd be standing there, next to there, having waited all this time. Heaven... he was given a piece of it. She was his wings, after all. It was his job to worry for her. She'd be worrying about him, after all, when he told her, whether he liked it or not, so, for all he could, he'd worry for her... So that she'd have nothing left to worry about. Lowering her back down onto the bed, he let go, but only for a moment, gazing at her. Just looking at her, her beautiful eyes. She was beautiful. In every way that she was, she was beautiful. His eyes... he was not looking at her body. But her eyes, her soul. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life. And she was willing to share it with him. ... What that was... is more then just a word of attraction, or incredible love or liking. But real love. Arching his back forward, over her, his hands went up to her face, his eyes closed. Her cheeks, soft and warm.. the hands sliding down further... the neck, sensitive and life. Onto her breasts... where the heart beat wildly. Passion, love, lust, soul, divinity, eternity. Gently, gently, and even more gentler, his hands went down, his eyes remaining closed, feeling not just her body, not just her curves, her sinews. But what she really was. He wanted to join her, to join in this beautiful thing that soared higher then the stars. His hands, going down, sliding down the final barrier to her soul, to Madelyn. Flicking it down to the ground.. he looked at her, his breathing become faster.

"... I love you, Madelyn... "

'.. So, I'll join you, as you command.' It was, the wings, after all, that dictated where the flyer flew. What this was... it was innocent. It was pure. But oh... oh, so much more. Words must not be overused. Something he learned. He could say this only a few times... but for some reason, it always conveyed his feelings. With a simple throw of his fingers on both sides of his hips, he cast down the last barrier to his own shield. No longer was it the lion. It was Jonathan now. 'I will join you then.' his eyes said, looking only at her. His hands, they went to the side of her knees, feeling the scars on the side of her thigh. His face, to most, would almost look blank. But to her... for the first time in his life... it was a real smile... Though his face said nothing, even though his eyes said nothing... he was smiling at her. His soul. He could feel it. No matter how many times he said she was... she was always beautiful, always more, always, every moment, just looking at her. This thing, this feeling, this was not something that humans thought. So much... he couldn't describe it. ... Yet, he knew it, and believed it. His hands, they slid further down, to her knees, and lifted them. Without his hands, Jonathan moved aside her lips, kissing her back with his soul. Jonathan knew already how to find out how to get in. And finally, breathing in, his eyes closing, he could feel himself join her, as he had to take two steps in, towards her. Adjusting his footing, he took a breath in, and slowly, breathing out, his cross seeming to shine brighter and brighter.. or was that his imagination? Slow. He took it slow, to get to know her. They'd only just met. He touched her for the first time... her true self. With a gasp, he looked at her. Looked at her without his eyes. And slowly... making sure he had understood her the first time, he took another few steps out, until the tip of Jonathan was visible again.

It was his first jump into her soul. And it was beautiful... just as he imagined. He savored this time, outside of her, soaking in all that he had just learned about her, his breathing hot, so hot. Passion... love. He kissed her again, as he walked back in, taking his time again. She was so warm. It was amazing. His chest felt like exploding for happiness. Madelyn held onto Jonathan so tightly, even as he gasped, taking another final step in. And in his walk, he stuttered in her But no... not yet. He wanted to join her... but he wanted to make sure he saw the whole painting. It was so large, all around him, but it was the most wondrous thing in the world he'd ever seen. The true depths... of her beauty. Her body, it was amazing, but... what he saw... her soul... Oh My God... Oh My God... only God himself could create something like this. He walked back out, trying to absorb it all, to see it all, his eyes still closed as he looked around, until he found himself at the exit again. But somehow, he always knew how to get back in, without direction of any of his hands. Jonathan knew... knew he was in love with her. But it's what he saw... what he really saw without his eyes... that humbled him. Every inch, every breath, every gasp, every moan, his blood rushed forth, but he took his time. But he didn't step back this time. Leaning forward.. his eyes opened again, and he looked at her. Truly, only God could create something so outwardly. And it was all in her. He couldn't just see one part of her body. He saw her. It made him wonder if she could see him too. He wondered what he looked like. If he was ugly though, he knew... he knew that her beauty would be more then enough to overwhelm his and turn it into something beautiful as well.

He leaned over, his breathing so fast, his heart on the verge of collapsing at its unrealistic speed, his face, just above hers. "... Madelyn.."

Jonathan truly kissed her. The real her. His tongue it dove into her depths, massing into her tongue, trusting in what he saw, as his eyes closed, looking into her again. But what he saw.. never would he get used to it. And for that, he was glad. Incomprehensible. 'Til the last brick fell, 'til the last drop of rain fell.. 'til there was no more.. he'd be there. Standing next to her. No matter where. Slowly, he climbed onto the bed, lowering her legs down to the ground, not a sound made, as he grunted in her... moaning softly, moaning with her.. even though what he saw what he saw.. he was right now still in his physical form. And for at least three more months, that wouldn't change. His body shook, hammering himself, at how slow a pace he was going, when she was so warm, quietly pushing her further up to the bed, his hands on her hips, feet arched, as he walked in and out of her... taking his time, taking his time... it was absolute torture on the highest level. But it was worth it. Every inch of it, every drop of it. A moan erupted from him, as his body shook uncontrollably, stopping for a moment. What an... what an incredible feeling! Sex. It was.. more then just bodies arousing each other to a state of climax. At last, he finally knew.. despite what all the others told him. His soul... their souls... were joining. And it was so beautiful, the pleasure of it wanted to erupt out of him. .. But, he would resist. But he had to break his kiss, gasping out for breath. He needed to be in this upright crouching position. Again and again... he swam in and out of her... in the chasms, his shaking body.. it screamed at him to go faster, but he kept at his steady pace, always just walking. He'd wait. He'd wait for her there. But as he moved into and out of her.. his hips began moving her into and out of him, so that he could breath more, and dig further, with every gasp, every moan, using all his strength. He would endure... he would endure...

Love, was it? At least... now he knew what it was, how it felt, what it's real name was. For every person, it was, it had to be a different name. ... Madelyn.

[madelyn]

Blues. All the different shades of blues. Suddenly, her eyes seemed to see the entire world in nothing but blue. Fear didn't seem to take her though. Some how in the heightened state of emotions she was in and the fact that his arms were still wrapped around her made all her fears seem like nothing. She looked up into those stormy depths that Jonathan had been graced with for eyes to see what he thought. His face was compeltely perfect. As always almost emotionless which was why she looked to his eyes.. yes his eyes there in lied the passion and emotion. It was there that emotions the failing languages had yet to find adequate words for were seen.

A step. STEP! Madelyn swallowed as he began to carry her to the door. She trusted him with her life there was nothing she wouldn't give him. But to walk outside .. like this. A deep crimision blush crossed her pale features. She looked up at him and smiled. She nodded. Whatever he was going to do they were in the same position. Neither was dressed more than the other. The door opened and a gush of cold air rushed in and she burrowed into Jonathan's arms to stay warm. Her frail thin body was not used to being without clothing. It seemed that the door had only opened when suddenly they were back in her dorm and the door was open. She looked up at him and he down at her. Their eyes meeting and the emotions felt in the looks alone was enough to make her blush. She let her arm push the door closed and it clicked shut gently. The sound it seemed so loud suddenly. She and he staring into each other as the silence surrounded them never bothering either as they lived in perpetual silence.

There it was. Shared between them the feelings so very deep and loving. The love that transcended time. There would never be another she would give her soul to like this. Because once given a soul can never be retracted and there would never be a day that she would want to. He was her angel and he was her savior. She knew that God created everyone for a special reason. Each placed upon the Earth to fulfill a specific purpose and this was his. Perhaps not all of it but it was part of the larger scheme in his life. The plan that God had created the very second he was born. The very moment his small gray blue eyes opened and during the first wail to greet life. He had given this white haired angel a plan. A complete and absolute plan that would never fail and always follow the course he set. They were meant to be here. This was meant to happen and the deep feelings in her eyes .. soul.. heart they where right. They were what he needed and what she needed. Together they healed each other's broken and scarred souls. Finally finding what it took to get their worlds alligned.

Feeling him place her gently.. so gently down on the bed he let go of her for a moment. She looked up at him. His eyes looking down at her. As if the calm before the storm they were expressing everything. Telling everything. Saying things that had yet to be said. Did he know her last name? No. She didn't care. He would. In time he would know. She would tell.. yes tell him everything because her life and his were no longer two seperate paths walking aimlessly through the world. No, now they were merged. Side by side Madelyn and Jonathan would walk through life. Knowing and learning together. When one stumbled and fell the other would be there to balance them out. He came down to her. Leaning over her. His dove white hair.. as pure as the wings she knew if she looked hard enough were there somewhere. She knew that he was an angel for no creature no being could ever be so beautiful, pure, and perfect all at once. His soft hands on her face and her eyes closed to his touch as his hands carressed her body. Her neck the fingertips bringing her back to life as they slid past her chest softly so softly his touch on her pale skin. Down and down his hands moved small whimpers ushering forth across her closed lips as she arched back only slightly. His hands.. they were euphoric as they touched her. And now, they slid the last barrier the last object in his way was now gone. Here now she was laying there ready for him and ready to bond her soul to his in the most passionate way. His words made her eyes shoot open as she looked up at him and she smiled gently. She beamed. There was no sunlight but Madelyn's face was enough to light the way.

"And I love you, my Jonathan." she said softly as she smiled up at him. Her first sentence that was not broken. And she didn't notice. Too many things running rampant through her mind but one main thought.. Jonathan.

Her eyes open now she watched. Yes watched as he took his own barrier down and she blushed at seeing his most intimate part. But truthfully, she was happy. Happy that they would share this. Overjoyed that they would be bonded after this. This would be the true confession of love. Yes, words. Yes, feelings. Yes, emotions. But now, there was this. His soft and carressing hands moved. Gods they moved like velvet up her smoothe legs. Her knees he moved them up. Gently ever so gently she let him move her. She loved him and not only was his own love written in his eyes but in every motion every touch that he gave her. Spreading her knees slightly she looked up at him. Her loving and perfect match. The bond that she would never let fall. The way she would always be there for him. She loved him like she had never known one could love another. He was the one. The one that completed her. The one that could show her the world in a matter of hours yet so much more remained a mystery still. A mystery she wanted to solve with him.

She felt him. Her violet blue eyes looked up at him she needed to see him wanted to know. She knew what she was feeling. The exhilleration of the event, the anticipation of the emotions involved. So much going through her as she stared up at the one man that had saved her from certain death. The death of her soul. A push. A pain. A wince. It really wasn't the pain that made her wince only the fact that she had not expected it in the least. Yet some how she relaxed again. Through all the pain in her past a mere pinprick was nothing. Nothing at all. Relaxing. She looked up his gasp. Was it good? Was it wrong. She wanted to ask. But no. Right now she wouldn't ask now was not the time for words but for the emotions conveyed in the motions. So beautiful was the dance they stepped through her own hips rising slightly to meet him. To match him in his motions. Meeting him halfway. A relationship was built on caring and love. Compassion and companionship. Compromise and meeting each other halfway. And now in their dance she did this. She would meet him and greet him. Sharing with him the burden of the dance. Again and again together they danced. Each step taken together each moan creating the symphony by which they moved. Each loving stroke of the instruments sang out in the room the music they made together ringing out the notes melding together. Here they were holding each other in the throws of the most beautiful love song on Earth.

To look up at him and she knew that there was a beauty about him that no one else in her world had ever shown before. And inner glow only an angel could have. There he was the perfect man, her love, her angel, her soulmate. No other words described the bond. No other words gave her the right sentiment. This was her world. Her world was no longer Earth.. no no she had soared beyond that. Out into the vast stars where she had found Jonathan. Her world. This was her world and she would never leave, never abandon.

Down he came closer to her. His breath racing across her face so hot.. so heated. Her own racing up to mix and mingle with his own breath as she looked into the cloudy depths of his beautiful gray eyes. The ones that carried his very soul. There it was. That spark. The one that only he had. That inner glow, in his eyes. Her angel. Her name.. he called it out and she arched back her moans once again matching his in the symphony that flooded the room.

"My love." she whispered heatedly her hand ran through his snow like hair taking it away from his face. Wanting to see him. His eyes, his soul, his beauty.

A long moan. A loud moan. Escaping from her as he brought his lips down on hers. Her hips continually arching up and down with his own motions. Dancing with him. His tongue moving into her mouth as she let hers further the dance by returning the favor. The small echoes of her own moans in his mouth as her eyes closed her hips continuing to dance with him his hands on the soft skin of her hips. She moaned again. The symphony louder and louder now the volume growing with the speed and length in which it was played. The tightening. She could feel the pressure in her abdomen she could feel her entire body tightening for him. Because he was the love of her life. They're symphony was beautiful only to be heard by these two and these two alone. Higher and higher the notes went. Her sweet soprano and his own tenor as they sang together in perfect harmony. Love bounding about the room. The song outsang even the canary in it's small little cage. They together were the perfect duet. The perfect song. There together. They were one soul.

She needed him again. Needed to feel him on her again. Yes, inside he was but she needed him once more. For their two tones to mix. She pulled him down again her hand in his hair as she pressed her lips almost hungrily against his. Her eyes slipping closed. Her moans .. her notes.. her tone filling his mouth as her tongue slipped in once again. God had given her a gift and she intended to hold it close. Cherish it above all else. This was her angel. Yes, she was his wings. But wings had no use without someone to fly. They were only wings with no where to go unless someone took them and used them. Bringing them together. It was together they worked. Together they would remain. She loved him. Her soul blossomed.

A rose.

Red and blooming. Bright in the light of his soul.
Growing in the sunlight of his love.

A rose, Madelyn.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

What was this amazing feeling, he was supressing? It felt, it felt so good.. he wanted release, to release this good feeling, the pressure building up so much, so quickly, rising higher and higher, that the pleasure... oh God, the pleasure... it was almost painful.. slowly, just waltzing in and out of her, at such a slow pace.. he wanted to bring her there.. to that place that God had created.. that beautiful place.. or at least, just a few steps short of it. Never could there be a Heaven on Earth.. but with every moan, every grunt, every gasp of breath, beholding her, beholding his Madelyn, joining her.. it felt so close, it felt so warm. It was with this unity that he found true life.. this excitement, only a taste of what had yet to come, of so much to come, even in so little time. Her hand, her hand came up to him, pulling him down, as she pulled him down onto her mouth, where she fed on his love hungrily, where he fed on her passion, firing his own, sharing his own, exchanging their feelings. He let his tongue dig into her mouth, feeling her's, rubbing against it, moaning with her, his whole body shaking with this feeling, all the while, still slowly waltzing with her, waltzing as she waltzed with him. Sensations unrivaled... emotions peaked, chest rising and falling, rising and falling, his eyes closed still yet, as he tried to break the kiss, but ended up biting on her lower-lip, tugging on it, wanting to kiss her more.. but he let go. He had help them get there... and he couldn't do it in this positon. Slowly sitting up, crouching, he waltzed, he waltzed, the blood in his veins, crying to him. His muscles were aching, the slow actions killing him slowly, screaming to him. But still, this was beautiful.. still she was beautiful... still... 'this' was beautiful. His eyes opened, as he began to slow down his thrusts into her even more. A look in his eyes... a look in his eyes saying... 'join me'.

Still singing with her, still dancing with her, he worked his knees down, underneath hers, his hands going around her... Oh God... Oh God... he could not resist, he could not turn back, he could not hold back. His muscles became reinvigorated as the dance renewed, becoming faster. Loving her so, loving this girl he'd only just met. He danced into her the melded passion, the boiling lust, his body in flames.. he'd given himself to her.. was giving himself to her. Faster still did the dance grow. He moaned. His face... it went down to her heart, kissing it, locked with it, as the dance grew. He felt as though he were flying.. as though he was soaring... and she was with him. The only way he rise above clouds... his soul, flying with her, his wings. Where was the peak? The peak that was so far away, yet so close in flying across? Restraining himself is what felt as though he was killing himself. With haste, he sped on with her, higher and higher, into the mountains, voice echoing..--- He wanted.. he wanted to give her everything she desired. This spell she cast on him, made him feel... made him feel as though he could do anything in the world. His mouth.. it dragged on, up her chest, the sticky moisture pleasing him, up to her heart, where he kissed against it, kissed her, his lips taking in her moisture, his arousement to such an extent, his sweaty body rubbing against her, loving her touch, loving her feel.. he breathed in.. that scent. Hers.. he loved it so much... his hug grew tighter around her waist. "... Du rieschst..." moaning.. he had to take a breath of air.. she was absolutely wonderful.. "sogut..." God had been so kind to him.. so kind to her. Made good things from the bad. The pace growing in this waltz, as he moaned further longer onto her. He clenched his teeth, his forehead pressing forcefully against her chest. Like an iron grip, he held onto her, never wanting to let go, bracing himself against her, bracing her against him. I love you.

Hot. It was so hot. This feeling burned him, but he loved it. Had to hold it back.. had to get her there too. Faster. He clung onto her.. clung onto her as if.. this was it. But.. this was it. Honestly, he was.. sort of scared to take that leap. Scared. A feeling he hadn't felt in such a long time.. almost covered up for his feelings for others, covered up by how he.. That didn't matter anymore. Not right now. His chest wanted to burst, his muscles at their end, he was almost entirely spent.. He loved her. Jonathan knew he loved Madelyn so much.. so much.. frustrated tears coming from his eyes.. knowing that they were binding with one another, happy and sad at the same time.. God.. give him his sin.. give him his sin, so that he could feel happy. So that.. he knew it would be alright that 'he' loved her. "Du.." he moaned.. his pulse so fast, he thought he'd have a heart attack... "DU HAST..." he cried out. Passion, lust, love. This feeling that he had.. THIS FEELING THAT HE HAD, ONLY FOR HER. "DU HAST MICHE.... MADELYN..." came the shout. His whole body quaked. It felt as though the whole bed was quaking, as he swam into her soul.. one last time.. rushing into her, diving deeper... deeper, forcing himself in all the way. In a blaze of passion, he flowed into her, his mouth opened, into her, moaning onto her chest, moaning into her heart, releasing himself onto her, into her.. the moan lasting so long. Every feeling that he had.. forced in, never letting up, forcing in every drop of how he felt for her. How he.. how he felt..?

I.. I love you... You.. You have me.

One final moan. Felt like so many.. all at once. A long one. For Her. For Madelyn.

Collapsed.

Breathing hard, his chest rising and falling... he felt so joined to her.. on such a level beyond just physical ways. He was afraid to take it out.. this feeling of.. release. He still held onto her tightly.. rolling her onto him, never letting himself out of her, letting her head rest on his chest, his left hand on the back of her head, going into her hair, stroking into it. Each breath cooling breath made him feel alive, feeling her. For the first time in.. how long? Sixteen years.. sixteen years of nothing, of containment. Sixteen years of solitude. God found him.. finally found him. Gave her to him. Gave him to her. And he loved her, so much. It was still so warm.. so sticky. He couldn't count how many ways he wanted to bless her, to bless God for her, his right hand, going down, below her waist, to her side, stroking the three scars lovingly. His left hand gently pull back her head, as he leaned up to her, beholding her. God has created such a beautiful woman. And such a perfect soul. His eyes.. he kissed her again, though his breathing was still so hard, his chest only just slightly beginning to calm itself down. Slowly.. gingerly bringing his lips onto hers.. kissing her.. just kissing her, his lips ongo hers, and hers onto his. Teeth came out to play, biting at the lower lip, and then, pressing his lips onto her again, enjoying her breathing, enjoying her moisture.. biting at her lips again. His eyes half-closed, as he could almost moan, but his body ached. Jonathan felt.. so spent. Spent into her. But only for her. Reluctantly.. he broke the kiss. And he kissed her again, with his eyes. "Ich liebe Sie.. Madelyn."

For if I am your angel... that God has given me to love you?

Then I'll love you.

Always.

[madelyn]

Passion. It was something that so many found in life. For Madelyn her passion had been music for so very long. She was unaware of what Jonathan's passion had been yet for now.. now in this moment their passion was the same. Interlocking and connecting. Merging into a singular passion. Love and lust. Complete devotion. So many things were running through her right now as their bodies and souls melded into each other. The love. It filled the area. Creating a beauty unlike any other. Showing each other their love. Showing their souls. Giving themselves completly to one another.

Her soul. It was souring above this plane of existance. Soaring with her angel. He was the light of her life and the sun of her world. He had taken the darkness away... the pain.. the loss.. the lonliness. Everything. He had begun to heal that which no one had even been able to touch before. Scars that were seeping yet unseen. The ones that had been too deep. The ones that kept her silent. The scars that until today had bled. Here he was her angel. Healing her wounds, loving her, showing her what it meant to feel. Never had she been given a loving touch in all her life and suddenly here was Jonathan and he was her angel sent by God alone to rescue her dying soul.

Lost in darkness. The darkness so deep and thick. Midnight. Feathers fall of pure obsidian lost in the black abyss that was a beating heart. Shrouded within. A soul so lost and alone. Bleeding scars run across the once crystalline exterior of the soul once so pure and beautiful. Yet the blood runs thick and it pools beneath the soul. Time after time. Trust..broken. Love.. ungiven. Life.. gone. A wandering girl. Lost in the darkness cries out for a rescue. Eleven years she wonders lost and alone crying out where none can here. Locked inside a young woman's body the same five year old that heard her parents die walks alone in utter darkness. But sunrise. The hues of that beautiful sun light up her world on the best day of her life and there... the sun his name.. Jonathan. His beauty shines and fills her soul with an inner light that she hasn't felt since that fated night. The girl now lost is found and the wounds now seen. Her angel, her sun, healing her from the inside. Touching her very soul. Showing her the way to life. He was the light of her life.

And here in her room. Carressed by the soft white covers of her bed they gave themselves to each other. He broke the kiss taking her lip with her and it only made her moan. She was lost in the passion and the love. Together they were showing each other just what if felt like to be accepted no matter who you were. She was brusied, scared, and broken. He was quiet, a stutter, and blank. Yet both so very deep. He shifted and she moved with him not missing a beat of the tune they played together. Starlight filtered into the dim room and she soared on with her angel her hands touching and carressing his arms. Those muscular arms that held her tight. The hands that accepted her every flaw. The body that could protect her and make her feel safe .. a feeling she had never before in her life felt. Jonathan embodied so very much and through her touch.. her hungry touch she tried to show him this. His arms came around her and she moaned as he came closer to her. Her hands running over his back gently carressing him. Telling him without her words how much she loved him. How she loved everything about him. How much she cared. She would be there forever. Standing by his side.

His head came down. Searching.. searching for something. Her hand came up and ran her hands through her hands though his hair. Soft like feathers. He was her angel and he was her world. The love of her life. He held her close as his lips found her heart. Beating beneath the pale skin finally she could feel it. Her soul was there two yet now merged with Jonathan's as well. Connecting them both. His words moaned out in German. She didn't understand them but that didn't mean that her body didn't react. In fact, her body arched up high. Her chest pressing against him gently as her body arched. His words .. the sensations running through her.. these feelings.. they were all coming to a point. One spot seeming in her belly yet not. She couldn't describe it as her hands caressed the love of her life. Her eyes wide open as she stared up unseeing as she lost .. lost herself in the waves of pleasure.

Her eyes opened wider as she felt.. she felt .. it. The fluid.. his fluid hitting her inside and she could hear his moan mingling with her own as she hugged.. hugged him so tightly to her chest her fingers in his beautiful hair. It seemed to last so very long yet she never wanted it to end. It was.. so amazing she could feel them bonding.. right here right now they were one. Closer than ever. He collapsed on top of her but she didn't feel his weight she felt his love. She shivered and shuddered her body taking in the sensations still that he had given to her. This gift he had found her worthy of. This small scared and scarred girl he had found her worth of .. love.. of this.. of bonding. She couldn't believe the gift God had given her. Given her a sunrise. One she would never forget. Never.

He rolled over so that she was now on top of him. His heart like her own beating so very fast inside his chest. She could hear his life beating there and she kissed it. She kissed his heart.. so pure and so perfect. She kissed his soul so beautiful and so lively. She kissed his chest that perfect chest that she would always find strength in. Her hands ran up and down his chest on both sides as his hand came up and stroked her hair. She cried. Tears leaking from her eyes down onto his chest as tears of pure joy and happiness fell down onto him. Her angel had come to save her soul and he had taken it away fully. She now had a soul thanks to the man stroking her and she had a life thanks to God who had sent him to her. Her crystalline tears falling down onto him as she cried on him. So very happy. She heard his words in German and again she did not know what they meant yet she didn't care because so much feeling was in them that she almost felt the meaning.

"I .. I love you.. so .. so very much." she cried softly. "I am.. so .. so unworthy. You... you are an.. an angel and I.. I am just.. just a girl. Just Madelyn Moore.. a .. a tainted girl."

She didn't want to give him up though. She would fight for him if she had to. She loved him entirely too much. Yes, it had only been a day yet when you met that one special person that it just .. clicked with.. fell in place with.. why lie to yourself and tell yourself that it's too soon to commit to such a word as love. Yet, for Madelyn that one word would never be enough to express what she really felt for the man that was holding her. The man she hoped would want to spend more time with her. She saw his cross and took it in her hand gently stroking the smooth metal as she closed her eyes.

_{"Dear.. dearest Lord in .. heaven. Thank you.. for this day.. for love.. for Jonathan. I am.. truly blessed by.. what you have... given me. My life.. has never been.. better than today. I am.. blessed.. today .. was the best .. day of my .. life. Thank you.. Lord for this day.. and every day.. and for Jonathan. God Bless him too."} she whispered softly. If he was listening he would hear her soft voice praying.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

Kisses full of love, kisses of something more then just something so simple as sex and human instinct. The way she kissed his heart.. made him want to cry; the way she held him so dearly made him want to hold onto her tighter. Forever. Unrealistic thinking, but.. some feelings were.. well… amazing. Jonathan rested comfortably, with her on top, his eyes closed, his breathing still barely just able to slow down. It had such a.. ‘surreal’ feel to it. Soft hands going through his, the way she played with his hair, just making him feel good, returning the favor, cupping her cheek with his right, and feeling the full lengths of her hair with his left, holding her face up gently, leaning up, himself, so that he could see her.

"I .. I love you.. so .. so very much." was her words.. his eyes widening slightly. "I am.. so .. so unworthy. You... you are an.. an angel and I.. I am just.. just a girl. Just Madelyn Moore.. a .. a tainted girl." "I-If y-you a-are r-really s-such a-a t-tainted g-girl.." came the whisper, his eyes closing back satisfied, as he eased himself back, letting his hand slowly slide back to the lower part of her backside, just above her rear.. "..th-then w-why d-do I-I f-feel a-as th-though th-this i-is th-the c-closest I-I’ve b-been t-to God?" As if in response.. she suddenly found the cross on his neck, hanging there, and slowly picked it up, her eyes closing, his own widening when.. a prayer? "Dear.. dearest Lord in .. heaven. Thank you.. for this day.. for love.. for Jonathan. I am.. truly blessed by.. what you have... given me. My life.. has never been.. better than today. I am.. blessed.. today .. was the best .. day of my .. life. Thank you.. Lord for this day.. and every day.. and for Jonathan. God Bless him too." His eyes, eyes closing as she slowly stopped, such a very quiet whisper of a prayer, but.. the feeling of relief; reaching to clasp her hand with his, he nodded. "A-Amen. Madelyn Moore…" he said, as he slowly reached with his left for the blanket covers.. pulling them over them, "..I-I’m Jonathan Winters.. a-and I love you.”

So much he wanted to say. To comfort her in how she felt about herself. Tainted, she said. Beautiful, he wanted to argue. His arms wrapped around her waisted, making sure she was comfortably on him. He didn’t want to let go. Even as his eyes closed.. he held on, tightly, the blanket covering them now.. pressed against each other, even though the lust wasn’t even there. And as his mind wafted off into a beautiful dream.. at last.. at last.. he understood.. he really understood.

He thought he was a dog. Never would he be able to forgive himself for the abomination to God that he was. But, all creatures needed love, human or not. He needed her, maybe as much as her, maybe more. But love.. that was just it. Love was a word for a complex series of not just feelings, but thoughts, of truly being bonded to someone. Lust, passion, caring, kindness.. these were products of ‘love’. But.. when one could truly love someone.. that was the day that their souls would join, their souls would bind, and life, though with or without their partner may seem empty.. so long as they stayed in their hearts, their souls would never leave each other.

And on that day that he died.. the day he wouldn’t tell to her, not yet, not today.. his sweat still clinging to his back, leaving a somewhat wet sheet on his back, as he went up to kiss her forehead.. he would not leave for Heaven, if he was truly forgiven. He would fight his way through Hell, if God would give him one last chance. He’d stay behind.. be ghost for her.. and love her, even if she moved on. And then.. he’d give her one last kiss.

Tears formed, as he leaned back, his hands slowly sliding up and down her also still hot, still somewhat sweaty back, loving how she felt, how soft she was, the scars that formed her into who she was.. that promise made.. this very night.

He was a dog. Meaning his loyalty, once earned.. would be kept forever. So, even if he wasn’t there, physically..

Always would the soul known as Jonathan Winters stay with her.