Deadly Situation (Alastin)

[Ziare]

It wasn't working. Life would never be what it once was. Jyo had proved that. He couldn't accept what she was now. That she was not the same Ziare. That she couldn't .. didn't want .. wouldn't speak. He had seemed to think that she no longer cared but what he didn't realize was that she didn't care for anything right now. Her life was one fight after another every day.

This had put Ziare on the tile floor of her bathroom. Sufficiently blocking out Armenius despite the harsh attacks he was making on the barrier she had set up. Her hair was down but cut. Some of her blonde locks lay around her. She was scratched everywhere her body wet and wrapped in a small robe. She had showered and tried to cleanse herself. But despite her red skin she did not feel cleansed in the least. She was dirty and tarnished.

It was then she realized the taint was not only outside. It was inside. Her body was no longer the same. It was against her in the most brutal way and so she had to get rid of it. It didn't suffice anymore. A razor lay in her shaking hand while she looked at it for a moment before taking it in her left hand and quickly slicing her right wrist. Blood quickly pooled down around her the taint was leaving.

Quickly before she was too weak she sliced the other wrist and lay amidst her hair and blood and waited for the end to come. Slowly the blood pooled around her body soaking into the robe she wore. Kaladra's cry was loud as she screamed contacting the only man that could help her stupid bond.

ALASTIN!!! GET HERE NOW SHE'S SLIPPING!

[Alastin]

Alastin had been very pleased with Ziare's progress and the fact that she was showing progress. He was currently in his room repacking his medical satchel for the next time he left his room go out exploring. Fortune favored the prepared. That was the line that it was and then he suddenly heard a cry. A mental cry that ripped through his consciousness. At first he panicked and then he heard the unfamiliar presence of Kaladra in his mind calling for him. The presence he had only recently been acknowledged by and here she was shrieking that SHE was slipping. The color drained from his face as he put the satchel on since it was already packed and closed his eyes and began to whispered the words of power in Italian. Kaladra was panicked and he winced at what was happening. What the hell could have went on?!

"Attraverso i venti viaggio veci!" Alastin declared in a voice full of magic and with a crack he was gone from his room and he appeared in Ziare's room. More specifically her bathroom. And he saw something that nearly horrified him. He saw Ziare had slit her wrists the blood was starting to pool around her and he acted on something that was only instinct. Only instinct made him this fast to save her life. His wings snapped out ripping holes in the shirt as he immeadiatly took away the razor and flung it away. Her skin was burned and she was bleeding. With a powerful voice he moved his hands to her hands.

"Ved min stemme føler seg liv!" the healing magic set to work staunching the blood flow so she wouldn't die as he formed the symbol of the crane and focused his magic. He touched her full force with the Touch of the Crane. Fed it even more energy then ever to replinish her body and close her wounds. And also take away the burn from the skin. He shivered and gasped as the sudden drain of energy and shivered over her looking down his golden eyes in tears that she had tried to do this. Who the hell hurt her?! Whoever the hell hurt her should no longer be allowed near her.

His wings glowed with Heaven Fire the white flames burning away the blood leaving no smell as it was incinerated he focusing on only burning away the blood. Even as he did he snapped his satchel open and pulled out linen bandages and wrapped it each of her wrists securely to help the healing spell and to encourage her otherwise. He was shaking from the sudden heavy drain of energy that he had just used such a rapid-fire combination of spells. He wanted to throw up at the sight of what happened but, he didn't gently he craddled Ziare close the blood gone, the cut locks of hair gone, more importantly the scratches were gone as well. Healing magic and heaven fire had seen to that.

"Attraverso i venti viaggio veni..." Alastin whispered as he craddled Ziare and they blurred appearing on her bed and he wanted to cry wanted to cut loose a voice of agony. She had nearly killed herself as he was just shaking he'd recharge the ward later. Right now he was on the verge of sudden exhaustion from using so much energy and so many spells. He craddled her his body shaking as he pulled his wings around her.

"Ziare...don't do this..." he said weakly.

[Ziare]

Ziare felt a presence. A presence of warmth but she said and did nothing her blood pooled around her and as she was healed he would see just how pale she really was. The loss of blood had been great. She felt warm arms take her and the blood and hair she had cut and bled were gone.

She felt them teleport and she slowly came to a bit more to see Alastin. She hugged him tightly and cried. Not only had she tried to do herself in but she had hurt Alastin in the process and she was trying to get rid of all the pain not create any more. She cried into his arms. Her hair had been roughly cut she would have to get it professionally done later but in her desperation she had taken big steps to cleanse herself.

She hadn't been aware he cared so much for her. And now she knew. The barriers were lowered but Armenius in his anger said nothing but the growling was there and it was all she needed to be scolded with. She looked into Alastin's eyes and mouthed that she was sorry.

'I'm sorry' she mouthed to him over and over again.

Bringing him in close again she summoned Celeste with her mana and let the little girl feed Alastin. Her mana flowed into his body so that he wouldn't be so exhausted. Tired but not exhausted and she just clung to him and began rocking back and forth.

[Alastin]

He was concerned he was worried but, he was hurt that she had done this to herself. Hurt that she had tried to end her life rather then going to him to recieve comfort and healing. He closed his eyes and he felt her cry in his arms clinging to him crying so hard when she realized what she had done. What was going through her mind he didn't know as he kept her close and let her cry. Her hair was a mess it would have to be professionally done to clean up the havoc she had created. Whoever hurt her had done a pretty thorough job to mess her up from the positive aspect she had left his room with only a couple days ago. What had shattered the progress in such a short time? He gazed at the room it was quite beautiful actually but, he could see the marks from where she had been hurt the tears that were still flowing as she clung to him.

"Thank you Kaladra, thank you for warning me or else she would have died and everything would have been lost. If you can help her a bit more I'm not sure how much Pheonix tears can recover someone but, she's lost alot of blood and I don't want to take her to the recovery wing with something like this on her hands or else they might do something."

Alastin said mentally to Kaladra. He sensed mental barriers being lowered and didn't blame Armenius for the moment as he no doubt wanted to yell at his bond but, instead he shifted his attention. He contacted Armenius.

"Peace now, Armenius I know your mad and hurt. I'm hurt as well but, she'll only feel more guilt and in the end we have to be supportive."

Alastin turned his attenion back to her when she shifted and she was looking up at him mouthing two words. Two words repeatedly and he hugged her tightly he was tired and hurt but, she was safe. He held her tightly in a fierce embrace as he felt mana slowly being fed back to him and he saw one of her summons. He thanked Celeste and gently touched Ziare's arm recharging Veni once more in case this ever happened again. This spell was getting to be a very handy one.

"Please don't ever do this again, please Ziare I almost had a heart attack when I teleported and saw this..." he whispered as he tilted her head up and gazed into her eyes. "Don't throw your life away please don't, I care for you damn it. You're worth every moment of effort..." He caressed her cheek lightly and kissed her gently on the forehead for a moment before shifting and his eyes holding hers once more. "What happened Ziare...what hurt you so badly?" he asked gently.

[Ziare]

Ziare felt him holding her close and she let him. She didn't want to leave this warmth. He was the only ond that could reach her. She lay there her hair was a mess but she would go get it cut properly tomorrow or something but for now she was not worried about her hair. It had been a huge sign to cut her long luscious hair.

She clung to Alastin and nuzled in as she closed her eyes and rocked them back and forth. She was so sorry for what she had done but she had felt so bad. So lost. So dark and she didn't want to burden him again. He meant too much. If she was gone then perhaps he could go on living his life but not have to worry so much about taking care of her. It wasn't his fault that she felt like this all the time.

She still had times where she felt so dark. So alone in this world and there was never a time that she felt like she could just smile and be herself. He told her not to do it again and she nodded vigorously. She kissed his neck over and over again. Six times she kissed it over and over fast trying to make ammends. She didn't know if she could even do that right now but she was trying she had to do something. She felt so guilty.

He said he cared for her and she knew he did. At least as a healer he did. She kissed him more. She looked up at him.

-Please forgive me.- she mouthed to him. -Please-

[Alastin]

Alastin shivered. Shivered when he felt her lips kissing the soft skin of his neck and his hands lightly gripped the fabric of her robe a bit more. He closed his eyes his mouth parting open lightly as he felt the kisses on his neck. Six times she kissed him on the neck. Six times he shivered slightly because the skin there was sensitive. Sensitive like his wings if they were touched in the right way as he finally opened his eyes and turned his head down more. He saw her mouthing the words wanting forgiveness. Wanting to be forgiven for what she did and he pressed his fingers to her lips gently. Little white flames on his fingertips as he let it gently fade away and then he tilted her head up gazing into her eyes. He gazed into her beautiful blue eyes with his golden ones and gave a gentle and warm smile just for her to show everything would be all right.

"It's okay," he whispered gently as he brushed her hair away from her face with a soft and gentle touch. Not threatening it was soft, gentle, caring. Letting her know that it was all right and nothing was wrong.

"I forgive you Ziare, as a friend, your friend. Just please don't waste your life. Please.. there is so much more you have to live for don't just throw away such a precious gift," he said softly to her as he shifted his head forward and pressed his lips against hers in a soft and tender kiss. His wings wrapped around them tightly as he held the kiss showing how much he cared. Showing how much he worried for her. Showing how much he was willing to give to help her reclaim her life once more. He held the kiss for several moments before breaking it gently and kissed the tip of her nose lightly.

"Just don't.. don't throw it away now..." he whispered.

[Ziare]

Ziare felt his fingers on her mouth and she looked up into his eyes. The soft warmth was there once more. She looked up into his beautiful golden eyes when he pulled her chin up so that her eyes looked directly into his. She looked at him as he began to speak she now understood why he was so worried about her all the time. He did care. As a healer he wanted her to be healthy and she was only harming herself more.

But as his lips dropped down onto hers this time her eyes closed and she kissed him back softly. Why? She wasn't sure but she felt that it was the right thing to do. She felt that he deserved this kiss after all she had put him through and after all he had done for her. He deserved so much more than this but right now this was all she could do.

When the kiss broke she nodded in agreement to the workds he said. She wouldn't do it ever again she promised. She couldn't bear to think that anymore. She needed and wanted to ask him something knowing that he would tell her the truth yet she was afraid and so she didn't try. Instead she let his wings pull her in even tighter than before and she hugged him.

Her hand rose and her fingers went through his soft hair as they held each other. Soon she began to slide down into his arms. Her body limp as she fell into a deep sleep. She had lost a lot of blood but she would get it back she just needed rest. And right now that was what she was getting.

[Alastin]

Understanding. It was something that dawned in people's eyes when they finally understood what you were trying to get at. He watched her understand why he cared for her. It wasn't just because he was a healer trying to set her right it was because he viewed himself as a friend. A friend that she obviously needed in her time of need as he lightly gazed into her eyes. He was surprised. Very surprised. She had not only let him kiss her for that fourth time. Yet she had also provided a very interesting surprise. She had returned the kiss. That in itself had surprised Alastin he didn't think that she would return a kiss after such an event yet here she did. It made him smile happily on the inside because it was one step closer in showing that he was accepted by her and not just there to help her get over a bad time but, something more then that.

Or I could just be imagining things...

He saw her nodding at his words and gave a sigh of relief on the inside at her agreement. She wasn't going to try this again hopefully and he didn't want to see such an event happen again. He shifted slightly and gazed into her eyes for a brief moment. She was going to have to go get her hair done professionally to fix the damage. What made her feel such a strong urge to cleanse herself though?

She never answered and perhaps she isn't going to tell me right now.

Again he sensed need and want from her but, she didn't voice it and specify what it was. Yet another question he would have to ask but, right now he was tired and so was she. He felt her fingers going through his hair and closed his eyes as he felt her fall asleep. He layed down with her drawing a heavy cover over them and withdrew his wings back into his back. There were messy rips in the back of his shirt from the haste that he had to bring his wings out as he pulled Ziare close to him. His head resting on top of hers as he provided her comfort and peace of mind for now. Misae keeping watch as they slept. She for recovery and he to stave off the drain of using so much magic.

[Ziare]

It was several hours later that Ziare's blue eyes opened gently and she looked into the soft chest of Alastin who was holding her close. She smiled softly and summoned Noxanna. The little fairy rained down light on him to keep him asleep as she moved. Getting out of his arms she coverd him up a bit more and tucked him in.

She went into the bathroom and found some scissors. Summoning Sheeta she unsummoned Nozanna and she looked up at Sheeta giving her silent instructions as she handed the scissors over. Sheeta nodded and began to fix Ziare's now shortened hair. Ziare closed her eyes and let Sheeta work with percision. It was twenty minutes later when the sound of the scissors being set down on the counter.

Ziare opened her eyes and a soft smile crossed her face. Her hair had been fixed and she even had a few pieces that framed her face. She thought in a way it looked better than before. Sheeta made the other hair disappear and she was unsummoned as Ziare stepped out of the bathroom pulling her newly cut hair up into a pony tail. It felt so light now that nearly half the length of thick hair was gone.

Crossing the room she leand against the window sitting in the window seat and looking out at the campus below. She hugged herself gently and touched the bandages on her wrists. Had she really been so stupid while lost in grief? She closed her eyes for a moment and let herself just relax looking out the window. She was being too much of a burden on Alastin but so far he seemed to be the only person that had been able to just allow her to be herself. Aside from Varys she felt so alienated from others.

She remembered her dream now. It had been of her sister. Her younger one Mylie. She had been growing so big and growing up so beautifully when last she had visited. She smiled softly thinking about taking a trip home. Her mother would be very unhappy about her hair. You were only to cut it when someone died and she had. Jyo had died. That was all the loss she needed.

Her heart was broken. Her soul was still damaged but slowly because of the man that slept in the bed now she was healing. He was the one saving her slowly. He wasn't forcing her into anything he was letting her heal at her own pace. She leaned against the wall and stared out at the school below watching the people moving about the campus.

[Alastin]

It was so peaceful and comfortable during that sleep much nuzzling and cuddling being done because it just felt right. Alastin sensed movement and stirred slightly as he felt the movement now as well his eyes starting to hazily open. Very slowly he opened as he felt Ziare moving around he wanted to keep her company but, then a gentle light came. A gentle light put him back to sleep lulling him back into a deep sleep once again. Whatever it was Misae did not interrupt it so he assumed all was well as he fell back to sleep. Hands were around him again rebuilding the warmth as he snuggled into the pillow his hair partially covering his face. He was asleep again Misae murmuring and lulling his mind to rest as she kept an eye on Ziare or at least paid attention to her thoughts. Her bond mate could use all the rest after using so much magic so quickly and Ziare gave him that courtesy.

Misae...

~All is fine she is just rebuilding.~

K...

Alastin woke when she was done well several minutes after the hair cuttery and she had moved to her window seat. He sat up the blanket fall off of him and his hair lightly framing his face. He slipped out of bed and shivered. Ziare had a tower room so it was a bit colder then he was used to he dragging one of the blankets and wrapping up in it before walking over to her. He was in socks so his feet weren't cold and he eventually reached the window seat where Ziare was gazing down below. Wordlessly he kissed her cheek lightly and slid in beside her drawing the cover over her as well. Alastin nuzzled her lightly and looked outside for a moment.

"You have a nice view up here..." he whispered softly. There was no question of whether or not he would stay it was obvious he was willing to stay and keep her company. And by the looks of it he was unless she said otherwise as he nuzzled her neck lightly.

"Sleep well?"

[Ziare]

Ziare heard him stir long before he came over but she didn't say anything. She didn't move. She loved her tower room. It was high it was quiet and it was perfect. She was used to the cold perhaps it was because she wore so much clothing these days. She continued to watch the small sized people below going about their normal happy lives.

Hearing him get up she turned for a moment to look at him. Wrapped in a blanket he looked rather cute. She didn't smile or anything she just looked back out the window. She felt the kiss on her cheek and a blush crossed her features and he covered them both up with a soft blanket and nuzzled up into her.

She nodded in answer to his question. She could tell that he had slept well he seemed a lot better than he had before. She smiled softly and nodded to his comment about her view. It was beautiful she had never had a room that was so perfect.

She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again and ran into the bathroom. Shutting to door the sounds of her getting sick in behind the door. Soon the sound of water was heard and a rather pale Ziare came out sitting at the desk she sipped a bottle of water and watched Alastin at the window she said nothing.

[Alastin]

He saw her smile about the view and he gave a return smile as he nuzzled her slightly and then saw her trying to speak. Was this the moment that was going to happen? Was she finally going to speak was this what he was waiting for? Alas however, something else came up and he could see it right before she made that run and pulled away from him. She couldn't speak yet and he could see it. Right now her body refused to let her make a noise with her mouth as if to block her off from whatever had happened and he shivered slightly. He winced at the sound of her getting sick and concluded it must be real bad to make her ill just from even trying to speak. He shook his head for a moment and sighed as he saw her emerge very pale. There was somethign else that was bothering him. With those loose clothes he couldn't really tell if...she...

If she's eating little and constantly puking...

He frowned slightly and moved away from the blanket as he walked over to her and lightly placed his hand on her forehead. He winced slightly as he saw that his suspicions were correct. She was losing weight. Not even a couple days and she was STILL losing weight. He looked up at her with a worried look.

"You don't have to speak until you're finally ready..."

"I can speak mentally remember?"

He said in her mind as he gently wiped her forehead and sat on the desk lightly kicking his feet and looked at her.

"You need to eat more Ziare..."

He shook his head BEFORE she could start any protests and prodded her forehead with a gentle touch and gave a small smile at her. It was that soft and warm smile that he usually had as he lightly ran his fingers through her hair noticing the difference and it showed. He continued to lightly touch her hair as he let her wait for his response for a moment.

"The haircut is nice..." he whispered and looked down at her. "You do need to eat more Ziare it's not good if you keep throwing up and eating little I don't want to rush you to the medical wing and have you on IVs."

[Ziare]

Ziare really didn't want to hear any of it. She didn't want to take care of herself sometimes. She looked up at him when he touched her forehead and tears rolled up into her eyes and she waited. She saw the wince and knew he knew. She ate little but it was enough to keep her out of the hospital wing.

She knew that he could speak to her mentally but she still didn't want to speak back. If she couldn't speak verbally she didn't want to speak at all. She looked up as he began to scold her about eating. She ate. Just not as much as she should and almost everything got lost anyway. She nodded however that she would try in the least.

She lay her head in his lap her hair was back in a pony tail but her new bangs were out in the least. She nuzzled into his lap gently and closed her eyes. She wasn't tired but his very touch comforted her. She didn't know if it was because he was the one that had woken her or if it was because he accepted her no matter what she did.

"...."

She thought she really wanted to speak. She needed to speak but would she ever get passed all the pain if she didn't just do it?

Armenius.. am I.. repulsive?

Oh yes Ziare you are the epitomy of ugly, pft.

Tears welled in Ziare's eyes and Armenius immediatly knew he had done something wrong and nuzzled into her mentally.

Sarcasm Zianna sarcasm.

"... a..am I.. repulsive?" she whispered softly outloud her eyes still wet with tears.

[Alastin]

He felt her head in his lap and he leaned back against the desk some lightly running his fingers through her hair. The feeling of her head in his lap was rather nice he had to admit that as he just closed his eyes letting the comfort relax him but, opened them when he sensed her tears. Ziare's treatment had some complications one of them in the form of that blasted JYO ruining things left and right. He gave a gentle sigh as he softly wiped them away and looked into her eyes. It wasn't an exasparated sigh it was another of this gentle sighs of worry as he lightly cupped her cheek. He wiped her tears again as he saw her open her mouth for a moment and then closed it. He saw tears well again and heard the edge of mental conversation but, didn't butt in since that woudl be rude. Instead he focused on her and he was nearly thunderstruck. Nearly.

He didn't show it.

But, his surprise was still in his mind.

SHE TALKED!

He blinked at her question and instead made her stand and pulled her close to him as he stood as well hugging her against him gently. He kissed her cheek lightly and gazed into her eyes he could be proud of her for talking later right now the concern was her question. The question that he sensed might have been the one from earlier but, he wasn't sure.

"You are not repulsive Ziare. You are NOT ugly. You are NOT in any way shape or form the opppisite of beautiful. You're a beautiful woman with wonderful eyes and gorgeous hair. More importantly you're a good person and I can tell that you still would be helpful to others even after what happened. You're beautiful Ziare..." he whispered as he looked into her eyes and his mouth went dry for a moment.

"Don't cut yourself short Ziare..." he said softly after a few moments of silence.

WHY CAN'T I SAY IT?!

~Humans are so emotional...~

[Ziare]

Ziare felt him pull her up and she was so light and caught off guard she went easily. He pulled her close and touched her gently. Her eyes closed and he began to speak. Telling her that her fears unfounded and that he found her beautiful. She wasn't sure if beautiful was the word she would have used but it seemed that he believed it.

She nodded gently and looked down as he told her not to sell herself short. She hugged him tightly and nuzzled into him. For several long minutes she stayed that way. Standing in the middle of her room hugging him tightly as if he was all that seemed to keep her here.

"...thank you.." she whispered.

She moved away from him and rubbed her eyes. She didn't know what to do now. She didn't want to do a lot of the things that used to make her happy. She really needed to find new hobbies or she was going to drive herself up the wall.

She sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at him as if to ask what he wanted to do. Because she sure as heck didn't know what to do. She just waited maybe he would have an idea.