Starting Over

[Kegan]

Kegan was asleep, no in the bed of the recovery wing of the school. Tristan's dragon had taken them to the school, and Kegan was currently being healed by the white mages there. He was still out, and he wasn't alone. Grey was there, though he hadn't been able to give his name after the encounter that almost ended both their lives.

However, that wasn't the only one. Kegan had another visitor, though her form was much less physical. The familiar voice entered into Kegan's head, and he was shortly standing on solid ground. Though his body was resting, his soul was engaged.

I am very proud of you.

Thank you. Where are we?

We are in the spirit realm. When someone is asleep, they are more open, and the veil between the realms is thinner. When they are awake, communication is much harder. That is, unless the living person has a strong connection with the spirit trying to speak to them.

So, that is why you could contact me earlier.

Yes, but it was still hard. I saw what you did. I watched you. I just wanted to tell you that I am so proud of you.

But, what happened? Why couldn't I bend, and what was that fire?

Son, I think it is time you knew what you were. There are many natural lycans in the world. Not all of them are werewolves. There are many different were forms, spanning most every animal. In each of the natural born, there is a rare occurrence. You, Kegan, are that rare occurrence. You are a Spell Wolf.

A... Spell Wolf?

Yes. Your father and I knew this when you were born. That faint white light that surrounded you when you went to help that vampire from his affliction was there the day you were born. However, after watching us die, your heart and mind were clouded, and your full power was masked and blocked. Now, that block is going away, and your full power can begin to be realized. You have powerful magic in you that will begin to manifest itself. Some of it you knew as a bender. However, you could never use that while in any of your other forms. This was because of the hatred you carried. Now, free of that hatred, you are able to use your magic in all three of your forms. The most powerful of these will be when you are in your hybrid form. When you are a human or wolf, the power will be the same. But, you will drain more energy as a hybrid. So, use this knowledge to keep control.

I will do my best to make you and father proud of me.

You already have. Sadly, I have to go now. You are about to wake up.

I love you mom.

I love you too, my little cub.

They embraced, and everything faded. Kegan was back in the recovery wing. Though awake, everything was still black. He lifted his hands to the bandages on his eyes. He felt a little pain in a few areas, the eyes included. but, for the most part, he was ok. He could tell the that the vampire was in the room. He knew that scent, and he could feel that familiar aura. He smiled.

"So, how are you feeling?"

[Grey]

"Like shit" Grey answered, truthfully. His physical condition was well below 'good', but that was not what made him feel bad "How about you? Are your eyes ok?" Grey was sitting in a nearby chair, his back bent and his hands holding each other, as though he were praying.

Upon arrival at the infirmary he had been given donated blood to patch him up, which tasted like thin soup. The lifeforce vampires fed off through blood waned quickly when it left the body, leaving the blood cold and tasteless. Most vampires therefore preffered the blood of the living, as both nourishment and taste was far better. Grey was onoe of those, but lately he had begun sad when he fed, especially when he knew that it hurt people, one way or another. When you woke up feeling dizzy from bloodloss in a alleyway in New York, you didn't stand the best of chances.

[Kegan]

"You sound like shit. But, better than you did when you were trying to kill me. I know that wasn't you, but still." He sat up, his body recovered. It was just his eyes. Thanks to the magic of the mages, his own inner white magic, and his lycan healing, his eyes would be back to normal in about a week.

"Oh, by the way, if you start apologizing for what happened, I will be forced to hurt you. I don't hold you accountable. I still respect the vampire I fought before it happened, and I am still intending to call you friend. Put it behind you." His tone turned serious. "Listen, if you don't learn to let the past go and put it behind you, it will forever control you. Those souls that took you over are a perfect example. My hatred prevented me from realizing my potential. Now, I get the chance to start over, and begin anew. I am telling you, you have the same chance. I am giving you that chance, here and now. Will you accept a friendship from a lycan?" He offered him his hand.

If he takes it, Kegan will smile. "So, what do I call you by? I passed out before you gave me your name."

[Grey]

Grey smiled when the lycan told him not to apologize, that was what had been on his mind. He decided to just sit and listen, letting the lycan talk. Most of what he said was true, except that he didn't know about the nature of the souls. They were not going away unless he had them excorsized, and even then the chance was slim.

When the lycan offered his hand Grey took it, and shook it firmly, accepting the offer. The lycan smiled and asked te question that Grey had pondered. Deciding that he might as well open up to the person who had saved his unlife and his soul. "My name is Gregory, but everyone cals me Grey. Mainly because that's what I tell them my name is" He smiled, it felt surprisingly good to get it off his chest, but then the darkness returned to his mind.

"There is a thing or two you oughtta know, about the souls. I might as well tell you, 'cause', well... You saved more than my but out there, you saved my soul. Not that it'll make much of a difference in the end now" Grey knew what a soul-flayer was, it was common knowledge in vampiric society, or at least common legend. If there had been such a thing as vampiric families, stories of werewolves and soul-flayers would be the scary stories that children were told. "Wanna hear?" Grey, no, Gregory asked, smiling sadly. He was like a guy who had just found out that he had terminal cancer. "Hell" He grinned, smiling. "I might as well give you me life story. Life, not unlife" He hadn't told anyone in almost a century

[Kegan]

Kegan grinned. "Well, we can stick to Grey, just to keep everything simple. I am honored you trust me that far." He listened to the vampire. He sounds like he needs to get a good deal out. I hope it helps him. "Well, I don't have any plans. If I did, I'd cancel them. You have been self kept for too long it seems."

He was sitting, having adjusted the bed to allow for him to be upright. He rested his back against the bed, making himself comfortable. It was going to be a long story, but with someone who has been around as long as Grey, and given his current condition, it was bound to be an interesting tale. "I only wish now we could have gotten off to a better start. But, like I said before, can't dwell on the past. All we can do is move on. Your past, however, may have some clues to your future. So, maybe I can help you keep from reverting back to that form." He smiled.

"I am here and I am willing to listen. If you want to share your story with me, then I'm all ears."

[Grey]

Grey smiled, he felt more at peace than ever. He had never thought that he would be ready to open up to anyone like this, and he had never thought it possible that it would be a werewolf he opened up to. "Ok then" He said, looking deeper into his past than he had done in a long time.

"My name, as you know, is Gregory, Gregory Moore. My mother was Irish and my father a Brit, immigrants to America. I was the eldest of three kids" He sighed, smiling sadly as the memories rushed back. He was in no condition to cry, both in terms of his species and his physical condition. But still a tear left his eye, running down his cheek as he remembered. "We lived on farm, not making too much money but we got along. My dad" Grey breathed in sharply, his face becoming a mask of hate "The fucker!" He spat, letting rage fade again before he continued. "Was always goin' on and on about religion and shit. You should've seen his face when they found out I could talk to animals" He grinned, joyfully remembering one of the few times he had really affected his father.

"They didn't like my... affinity for blacks. For some reason I just enjoyed being around them more than whites. My father beat me both times, first until I said I couldn't hear the animals no more, second time he finished off telling me that white and black should never be mixed. Something about that they needed to stay seperate, like white and black people, like man and nature" He smiled with a slight hint of madness, this was a thought that he had cherished. "Like life and death"

"Mom was nice, she'd sing songs for me when I went to sleep, hold when I cried and dad couldn't see it and she'd tell me stories from her homeland. Heh, she even taught me some Celtic. Dad, however, had a very different view on things" The smile that had played on his lips as he talked about his mother faded and became a bitter mask, hatred and grudges darkening his face. "He was always bullying all of us around, he is what you today call a sadist. If everything didn't go completely they way he had planned he freaked out, but he never took it out on me. No, he was much to brave for that" Grey spat out the last word, the very thought of what he was going to say next making him feel sick

"He took it out on mom or Richie, Susan or Liz, but never me. He wanted to see me suffer, and he knew how to do it too" Grey paused as he brouhgt his hand up to massage his temple. Vampires learned to hate, it was the only way to avoid insanity, or at least the only way that everyone could take. If you hated, kept your mind occupied than you didn't think of the world, the chages, your curse. Nearly every single vampire who had avoided the path of hatred had gone insane, to be hunted down and 'killed' by their own brother and sisters. As long as you hated you didn't feel the pain.

"One day, I must've been fifteen or sixteen or sumfin, after dad had gone to sleep after a day without work, mom came to me. She gave me a purse full of savings and told me to run, to get away from the farm. I wish I hadn't" The first sobs came, tears running down his pallid cheeks and dripping from his chin. After he pulled himself together he continued, feeling as though his heart could breathe for the first time ever. "I went to the town, like mom said I should, but I wasn't careful enough and I got the money stolen just outside the place where I'd rented a room. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't just go home. So when I saw the men who had taken my purse drinking in a bar, I snapped.

I walked into the bar and I beat the living daylights out of them. I literally smashed the place up with them and I think one or two of them even died. When it was done I was about to get arrested, but some other guy in the offered to pay off the damage if I came and worked for him. Of course I couldn't say no to that, so I followed him. Turned out he was an underground boxing promoter. I'll spare you for the details but I had quite a successful time there. But after a few months or years, I don't really remember, I decided to go home. I thought mom and me siblings had suffered enough, ya know? Somebody needed to stop the fucker, right?" He had begun sobbing again, the thought of what followed next to unbearable.

"But when he heard I was coming back, he knew why. And by the time I reached the farm he'd set it on fire" The last word turned into a wailing sob, remembering hearing his mother scream from the flames as his father cursed at him, once again telling him that it was his fault that it happened. "I could hear mom scream from inside the fire, and I couldn't help. My father, the man who was supposed to protect and guide me, chose to destroy everything and everyone rather than let me end his sadistic little setup. I didn't even get to see mom" It hurt, it hurt so much. He had felt his heart ripped from his chest that moment, realizing that he was powerless, powerless to protect te one person in his life who had helped him and supported him.

"So what'd I do after that?" Grey asked no one in particular, speaking in a voice that clearly told that he knew. "I went back to boxing, what else could I do? I needed to went the anger. I did pretty well to, I wasn't no legend, but I did allright. Then one day my boss told me he was selling me to someone else. He said it in a much more buisness like way o' course, but that was the ghist of it. He said they'd teach me howta fight, fight proper. I should've known!" He raised his voice, almost shouting at himself in anger and sadness. "I should've known that something was wrong with them. The way they walked, talked and behaved, I should've guessed. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what untill... this" He pulled up his upper lip, revealing his fangs.

"It wasn't that anyone lied or anything, and I guess I knew all along. But waking up one night to find that your heart doesn't beat anymore and that thirst for the life of others changes you, and not for the better. I ran away after a while, I couldn't stand being there. I set my terriory in New York, and since then I've just been hunting and killing, until I decided to learn more. So I came here" Grey smiled, it felt so good to have the whole thing off his chest. "I'm old now, older than I thought ever I would be. I call myself Grey to spit on my father gravestone, seeing as I'm both a cross over between animal and humanity, nature and unnature" He snickered, lost in the thought. "Life and death"

[Kegan]

Kegan took in his entire story. He didn't pity Grey, but was able to sympathize with him. He shared a similar past, and felt a bond between them growing. "Grey, I was wrong about you on so many levels, and for that, I apologize." The gentle but gruff voice sounded form the still body of the lycan. Though he couldn't see right now, he could hear and feel every emotion Grey expressed during his story. "You and I are more alike than I would have guess."

"Honestly, I was surprised with you. I didn't even know vampires were capable of crying. You are more human than you credit yourself with, and I mean that as a sincere compliment." He faced him, his bandaged eyes aimed at Grey. "Well, you shared your story with me, and so I will share mine with you. You'll know just how similar we really are."

"As you probably well know, lycanthropy can occur two ways. Transfered from one cursed being to another, which is the most common. The other is to be born into it, receiving the curse from one or both parents. In my case, both parents were naturals, as they are called, and so am I."

"They raised me as best they could, teaching me early about what we were. They taught me to control the changing of forms. Children and those who receive the curse from someone else have trouble with controlling it. Naturals learn and fast, thought it still takes time. Those who are afflicted almost never can control it, though some do. However, the 'pull' is strongest at the full moon, and most who aren't born lycans shift and loose control of themselves. During a full moon, all lycans are at their strongest, and a natural who is under control is the most dangerous."

"But, I am going off a bit. My parents taught me how to control the change, and all was going fine. But, children can be cruel, and the children of our village were to me. I have white hair, and they though it was odd. So, they formed a circle around me one day, and began to poke at me, push me, make fun. Do you know what triggers a change in a lycan besides the full moon, especially in natural born child lycans? Anger, and fear. I was feeling both then. I lashed out, and stuck one of the kids. The transfer can only occur with a bite, not a scratch. but, I had shifted forms. The kids recoiled in fear, and I ran home scared."

"Well, it didn't take long for the village to come together, torches in hand and demand that the 'creatures' leave. I was the first one out of the hut. My parents were gathering the last of their things, when one of the villagers cried out something vulgar and threw the torch at out hut. The rest joined in. My parents were trapped. All I could do was stand there and watch what was going on. Fear and shock froze me, and all I could hear were my parents screaming." The sadness and frustration was evident in his voice. He calmed down before continuing.

"The villagers took notice of me, and began to chase after me. I ran for the woods, shifting to full wolf to avoid them. I lost them, and collapsed in a secluded area. I learned to live off of nature. In return, I protected the forest from anyone who would try to destroy it. Being as I hated humans anyway, this was easy. I learned I had an ability to magically bend, and I used that talent mostly for cooking food and making camp."

"One day, there was a warrior who was threatening a girl. I fought with him. He was my toughest opponent until I met you." He smiled at Grey, then continued. "I won, and approached the girl. You would think she might be grateful for me saving her life. But, instead, she called me a monster, and ran off. Even the ones I try to save looked at me with fear and hatred for what I am."

"Then, I met you. I fought you, both as you are now, and as that dark form you took back there today. I thank you for that. If it wasn't for that encounter, I never would have realized what I truly am. You see, during that fight, my mother spoke to me. She connected with me, both then, and while I was passed out just a few minutes ago. She told me that I was no normal lycan."

"When one is born cursed, there is a rare occurrence every few generations. I was that rarity in mine. I was invited to AA because of my 'potential,' but I never would have been able to realize it with the hatred in my heart. It is thanks to you. Now, I can start over, and become what my parents saw in me the day i was born. Thank you for that, Grey."

"Well, that's it. We both lost what we loved, and we hated the ones responsible. We both dealt with things holding hatred in our hearts, and now we are learning to let go. I am proud to call you my friend, and the pride of a lycan runs deep. Honor, and loyalty is what you can expect from me. I am sure I can count on the same from you."

He smiled. "You know, I never thought I would be able to feel like this again... my heart free." He breathed in deep. "It feels good." Yes, it was a brand new beginning for Kegan, as well as Grey. The chains of the past broken, they were free to start over.

[Grey]

"It's new for me" Grey smiled, as Kegan said his heart felt free. "And it feels good here too" He thought of telling Kegan about the nature of what had happened to him, but decided to let hi enjoy his new sense of tranquility. He deserved it after what he had done for the two of them.

Grey knew that he needed to seek out a wizard or shaman with knowledge of souls, to see if there was any way he could cure his condition. So far no vampire who had shared his torment had been cured, but no one had been brought back from the state of soul-flaying either, except him.

"I dunno what the doctors say, but if it's ok with them and you I'd like to take you drinking sometime. I could sure use a drink or eight on top of what just happened. What do you say?" Grey had decided to make the most of his time, at least until he knew how much he had left. His situation was uniqie, and he hoped that would be to his advantage

[Kegan]

"I say that's sounds like a great idea. I could definitely go for that." He smiled. He set his bed back to it's fully reclined position. "Now, I think it's time for me to get some sleep. i can feel my eyes beginning to throb, and that means the healing magics are wearing off. I still haven't figured mine out, and so I'm not going to try." This got the attention of the nurse mage who was tenting to him. She placed her hands over his eyes, and numbed the pain.

"Ah... thank you. I think I'll be going to sleep for a bit Grey. We'll find each other when they release me from here. I don't think drinking is bad for the eyes, so long as you keep it in check." He gave a gruff chuckle. "Take it easy. I'll catch you in a few days." He let himself drift back to sleep. He was still tired from the fight, and his energy hadn't fully recovered. The rest would do him good.

[Grey]

He needed rest, which was not surprising. Grey was happy that his invitation had been accepted, drinking was the best way of getting to know people was his experience. The lycan, whom Grey now knew as Kegan, began drifting off into some much needed rest. "You take it easy too" Grey said, even though he knew Kegan was probably stuck deep in wonderland. Yet another thing you couldn't do as a vampire.

Gre yleft the hospital room with a smile on his face, a truly happy one. Just like Kegan, he felt a huge weight off his shoulders, even with the newfound problems his affliction caused. He needed help, and fast, but it was not the kind of help they could offer him here in the recovery wing. He needed someone who was more... specialized.

"God bless you, lycan" Grey muttered as he left the recovery wing, heading back to his lair in the few hours he had before sunrise. "Because he sure hates me"