Well, from my standpoint, I believe that all religions are correct. I believe that there is a celestial mass that consists of all deities, and I believe in that one mass. All of them can possibly have one characteristic of me, and to not have a characteristic of your god is to not identify with your god. If you want me to explain, PM me.
Time for my fun.
***
(Scientology)
Me: Your Jesus? What about my Jesus? What stops me from pwning your god?
Scientologist: We try not to think of it as "pwning," rather, containment.
Me: Take me to your god, then.
ST: L. Ron Hubbard is dead...
Me: Wasn't he reincarnated?
ST: F***, I mean... Tom Cruise... uh, he...
Me: Remember in Mission Impossible when he prayed to god?
ST: 001100:110000:010100:100101
Me: Crap, not this again.
***
(Catholosism)
Catholic: Where the hell's your crucifix above your kitchen door!? I'll kick your ass if you don't get one up there this instant!!
Me: "Believe what I say or I'll hit you"? Yes, very Christian. Besides, nothing says eat up like a bleeding half naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood.
***
(Judaism, SP?)
John Stewart: ...and on the eighth day of Chanukah...
Me: Holy f***!! It's John Stewart from the Daily Show. I didn't know you were Jewish.
JS: ...and today's special guest, believe it or not, Adam Sandler.
Me: Why am I hesitating to make a Jew joke?
***
(Buddhism)
The Landlady: You lack self control. We cannot let you do this alone, we will let the Buddha choose your fate.
Me: Self control? Your deity has a weight problem.
***
(Muslim... ism.)
Amr I'bn A'l A'alas in 2000: Eet ees my battle driven duty to stri-eek at the hearts of the non-believers of the Muslim faith. Allah promeesed us seventy-two virgeens when we reach the afteerli-eefe. Can you believe that?
Me: With all of the women you kill in your cities? Hell yes I believe you, but I don't believe in you.
***
(Convanency, check it out, Priest. Everyone else, don't both reading this if you know absolutely nothing about Halo).
Arbiter: Demon! You cannot stop us from activating the ring. We will complete the Great Journey!
Me: ~Explaining the whole Halo and Halo 2 storyline, and the glitches you get on Legendary to the Arbiter~
Master Chief: This thing is a weapon.
Me: He's right. Your prophets lied to you.
Cortana: You know who else lied to us?
The Monitor: Doo do do de dooo... Oh, hello, I am 343 Guilty Spa--
Cortana: You asshole! Trying to figure out that you lied to us screwed up my whole internal memory process!
Master Chief: Do you know how much time you could have saved us if you would have never shown up in this game?
Arbiter: The Oracle is a fake?
Me: And so are your prophets.
Random Elite: Wort wort wort!! Grah!! Nooooo!!!
Regret: Do you know how much getting punched in the head 3 times hurts, no matter what difficult the game is on!?
Mercy: Don't whine, I was being eaten alive by f***ing zombie spawn!!
Master Chief: Hey! I saved your sorry ass...
Truth: ~Melee from behind~
Me: Hey, you didn't let me save! Jesus Christ!!
Truth: I thought you believed in more than Jesus? Should you be saying something more along the lines of... Jes-uddh-a-lla-ha-mose-tsukiy-odin...? Or something... I'm sorry. I'll mod you up for a two month, how about that?
***
My point, you can always laugh at someone's religion when it's not your own. When no one's saying "Heheh..." then you all blank out, and you're screwed. Smile, while we still have something to smile about. The world needs saving.
-=}N{=-
