Ladybug (Phae)

[Onira]

The mass of ice sat alone, as all ice eventually does. All ice eventually melts till only one remains. Alone and uneeded. Who needed only one mass of ice? It was pointless for only one to exist. But never-the-less, so it became.

This particular frost sat under the shining, heated skies. Many were out in the massive courtyards. Some playing volleyball, others playing soccer, and even a rare few practicing spells. A very rare few. All heated flesh. Running off of the heat. Thriving in it. But of course, the white-cloaked ice did not. He simply sat under the shade of a tree, back to it's trunk and his muscles resting. He didn't need it. He was very well rested. Not from sleep of course. He had little of that lately. Only three hours over the past four nights. But his expression still showed deep thought. Lost in his own mind, but still carrying a stable connection to the outside world.

The ice hadn't moved for over two hours. He had simply sat. Thinking. No interuptions. No communication. And worst of all, no randomness. His favourite of all things. Everything. A black and white checkered ball sailed towards his head, only to be met by a strong palm. It was deflected away to whoever owned it, leaving the ice to think once again.

Time continued to pass. Four more hours, and the day approached one o'clock. Just after noon. Most were going off to lunch now, and of course were heading towards the courtyard. The best place to be. However, all were smart enough to keep away. Not even a simple 'hello' met Onira's ears. Probably for the better. The icy demeanor seemed to resonate a discouraging barrier. Nothing seemed to want to enter. Not even the warmth would touch the cold. Not even a ladybug.

[Phae]

Phae stood in the line in the cafeteria. She hadn't slept much recently finding that she couldn't do much else besides stare at the ceiling and wish the day would come so she could do something more..active. She had become more toned if that was possible in the last few days as she had completly thrown herself into her training going through entire days with no food and over ten hours of training. Jun of course had not been happy when he had found out about that but she couldn't sit still. She just couldn't because then her mind began to run through things. At least when she was training she could put her mind completly into something air.

She took the small sandwhich she was actually going to try to eat today. She knew she looked like hell. She was wearing jeans and a tshirt long sleeve even though it was hot she felt like she needed the cover of the clothing. She felt.. chills many times through the day. Dark circles stood out under her eyes dark against the pale skin. She didn't want to sit with anyone today. She moved out into the courtyard a book in one hand a futile attmept to get her mind on something else. Her sandwhich on a small round plate as she walked out into the sunshine.

She was lost in thought the thought..the only thought that constantly ran through her mind now. What to do about Onira? He had confessed love for her despite the fact he new she was with Junpei and she didn't love him but the problem was she didn't feel that she could tell him. She and he had worked so hard together to bring him out of the darkness the sad distant world he had been living in and into the warm happy one that he had just begun to experience.

She sat down on a bench setting her sandwhich aside giving it an evil look. Another sandwhich would go to waste she knew it already. She sat sideways on the bench the sunlight casting down on her red hair making it shine bright as it fell around her shoulders. SHe opened her book and closed it. She had lost all passion for so many things at the moment. She sighed and lay down on the bench her face towards the sky as she closed her blue eyes one arm behind her head and the other laying on her stomach. She had grown thinner.

[Onira]

Onira continued to sit. Alone. he was starting to get used to it. Starting to get to know the cold again. Remembering it's harsh yet somewhat rewarding touch. It was becoming more and more comfortable. Like home. Away from the warmth and in the cold. Inside the frost. Unforgiving but all, so lovely.

Onira scanned his violet orbs around the area. He noticed nothing out of the ordinary. People playing. Endlessly. Letting the warmth flow through them like a river. Lust, embaressment, anger. All warm feelings. All fulfilling. All giving something. But the cold... Carlessness, wandering, discontent. All cold. Hollow inside. Only one site in the park ever gave Onira the feeling of warmth. And she sat on a park bench. Seemingly in the same frame of mind as Onira. Just thinking. Swimming through her thoughts. Or maybe not. He was starting to get the feeling she was becoming hollow. Empty and free of care. Like Onira.

The young man pushed himself up off the ground, trying to remember the procedure. One foot, the other. Put one foot ahead, and then the next. Keep them relaxed, but still official. Walking. Well, Onira soon remembered and came to the side of Phae's bench. No reason to talk, so much as to help. He didn't want to talk about it. Not the moment. Not the confession.

"Don't."

One word that meant so much. In the one instance. In that one moment of time. It meant 'don't let the cold take you. Not like me. Not like others have. Just let it go.' Of course, 'don't' was all he could get out.

[Phae]

Phae lay on the bench the sun shinning down on her but she was cold. She had been having the chills lately. Over working her body, lack of food, had taken it's toll on the already small girl and she was ill. Ill in the physical sense and ill in the emotional sense. The only becon the only light in her dark world was Junpei. He was the solitary good thing that kept her warm. With his arms around her she felt she could conquer anything and lately it was the only place she felt warm.

"Don't" she heard a familiar voice call and her eyes shot open. There in front of her looking so tall as she lay down on the bench was Onira and he looked about as bad as she felt. She again didn't understand what he meant by don't ... don't what?

She sat up and took the plate with the sandwhich in her hand and placed it in her lap.

"Sit." she said as she began to tear off pieces of bread and throwing them in the grass below. At least the birds could eat. "Please."

She didn't look up at him but there was room next to her on the bench as she fed the birds some of them already beginning to peck at the bread with thier beaks.

"Don't...don't what?" she whispered tears coming into her eyes but she fought them back with everything she had.

[Onira]

Onira nodded, his face expressionless and seemingly lost of all emotion. His steps were slow and proper, accenting the cold demeanor he possessed. His whole body seemed different. It seemed to reflect the deep ice he had thrust himself into. Further than he remembered, but even so, close enough to the surface to be pulled back into the warmth he once remembered. Once. Once he had the friends of Junpei and Phae. But Junpei had seemed to dissapear, and Phae had already exiled Onira. Xeryth. Onira's last friend, who also had seemed to dissapear for a time. Everyone seemed to leave him. Seemed to forget him. And he knew it was his fault. His actions always pushed people away. Always made them hate and exile him. So be it.

Onira sat down slowly, keeping his back stiff and definitely not his usual relaxed position. It didn't seem to fit him anymore. Even the magical glow of his hair in the sunlight seemed to be dull and lacking of any drive or passion. Definitely not the old Onira.

He listened to Phae ask him a very obvious question to what he had said. Don't what? Onira answered slowly, his voice showing just a few signs of warmth.

"Don't hurt yourself like this. It's obvious to me you haven't been sleeping much, or eating much. I know you don't like what I said, and that you can't return the feelings, but it would hurt me more if you also stepped into the cold."

[Phae]

Phae saw him sit down as she continued feeding the birds. Her life had spiraled out of control since that day. That fateful day with the kiss and the love confession. That day forever burned and replayed in her mind over and over again. She sat the sandwhich down, or what was left of it and turned to Onira when he spoke. Tears already rolling down her cheeks.

Her blue tear filled eyes looked up into Onira's own gaze before she spoke.

"How can I not? How can I not fall into the darkness? He left..." she broke into sobs silent sobs as she pulled her legs up to her chest and lay her head on her knees. "He left me.. I don't know where he went..when he'll be back...I don't even know IF he will be back. I am no longer whole."

[Onira]

Onira looked at Phae with empty eyes. They looked distant. Uncaring even. But they only reflected the surface. The outer frost didn't care. Didn't want to try and help. Just wanted to be alone. In it's own world. However, the inner core of Onira, the one place where the warmth could still live in just a tiny spark, it cared. Deeply. It throbbed with a pain unbearable for any unprepared. Hurt with the sight of Phae's tears as it always was. The warmth was always pained by that sight. Phae unhappy. Depressed. Sad. Anything of that kind hurt Onira deeper than any blade. But the frost's barrier was polluting. Slowly distorting the judgement of the warmth.

"I don't know what you expect of me Phae. My words cannot heal, nor can they bring back Junpei. I'm sorry but..."

Onira's words truly became stone cold. Sour from some sick sense of distorted hate. The small disgust for Phae. Hating her in some way for not returning his feelings. For not loving him like he wanted. For not providing the warmth that he wished. This all reflected in Onira's conclusion.

"I'm not here to comfort you."

OOC: Too harsh?

[Phae]

Phae sobbed silently as her heart slowly melted into a puddle that would never be reformed. The mass that would melt never to be formed again. Every minute another drop fell that would never come back.

Onira's next words came and another drop fell slowly but surely the once happy girl was spiraling into the darkness. Into unhappiness. Into despair. She looked up at him tears falling from already red eyes and she gave him a truly cold look. She stood up and grabbed her book leaving the sandwhich where it was. She opened the cover of the book and took out a piece of pink stationary and on that stationary was a copy of a poem she had written the night before her feelings conveyed.

She threw it at him.

"I won't tarnish your view anymore. Forgive me for sitting in this damn courtyard. Forgive me for being here at the same time as you." she said harshly. She turned and began to walk away sobbing.

****
Upon opening the stationary in Phae's fluid script is written...

I walk through the darkness of my mind,
here in the dark it is the only place I belong.
It is here I walk through the empty caverns of my mind,
I can hear the drip drop of my soul as it slowly slips away.

It is here I have retreated when my heart died,
the day you left I felt the fragile glass crack.
As the shinning pieces fall through the darkness
I see your face reflected in their depths.

I shiver in the cold
Where has the warmth of your presence gone?
the chill is harsh and constricting my life seeps away
lost to the depths of the closing darkness.

To survive without you
is to ask for my soul
it is this that drips down above me
will I ever be warm again?

[Onira]

Onira stared with still empty eyes. The words cut steadily through the cold, and slowly melted the frost to show true emotion. Onira's pain was now becoming evident. In his eyes the distance was closed. The emptiness was filled. Tears. Those are what filled the emptiness. Cold, salty tears. Onira couldn't believe himself. What he had said. First he had kissed Phae and possibly ruined her and Junpei's relationship. Now, he wasn't even willing to give her a shoulder to lean on. Wasn't even willing to undo some of the damage he had started.

"I'm such an idiot."

Onira smacked his fist into his leg, obviously furious in his actions. What he had said and what he had done. He knew that no pain he felt was worthy cost for Phae. And only he could undo the damage.

"Wait!"

Several heads turned as Onira bolted for Phae. However, he didn't care. He just wanted to help, now. Once he caught up, Onira would stand infront of Phae, his eyes red from tears. He panted softly, looking deeply at Phae.

"I'm sorry."

[Phae]

Phae was already walking away from him when he suddenly appeared in front of her. He told her that he was sorry.

Sorry! SORRY!!

He was SORRY!

Sorry he had ruined her life, sorry he had made Junpei leave, sorry he had cast her soul in darkness when she had brought him to the light. She looked up at him but her body shook. It trembled her lower lip quivered as she looked into those once friendly violet eyes. Her book fell from her hand spread open in the grass as Phae collapsed.

Exhaustian, malnutrition, heartache, and constant over working herself had taken it's toll on the girls body. She collapsed her eyes closed rolling back into her head as she fell into the grass her red hair splayed around her tears still leaking forever leaking from the once beautiful eyes. She was unconscious.

[Onira]

Onira's eyes widened as his body shot forward, letting Phae's collapsing body rest in his arms. He wasn't sure if it was from the lack of sleep, or from the lack of food, or just her emotions ran too high. But, it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting Phae somewhere where she could rest. Onira's first idea was the recovery wing. However, he soon dismissed that, figuring that there wasn't anything they could do for her that he couldn't. This brought him to the second idea. Her place. But, this was also soon dismissed, figuring that if Junpei had infact already returned, then the last thing he'd want to see was an unconscious Phae in Onira's arms. Which let only option number three float to the top.

Onira let Phae's back rest against one arm, and then picked up her legs with the other, carrying her in the way one would carry a very large infant. Or, more commonly seen for weddings, when the groom lifts up his bride and carries her to their honey moon sweet. However, the purpose was much different to Onira's.

The young man carried Phae out of the courtyard, attracting many unneeded eyes. The pair eventually came to the elevator, where they were taken to the third floor. Onira carried the limp body to his dorm, pressing a very tense-armed hand against the knob and turning it. Unlike others, he always left it unlocked. Not like he had much of value.

The two walked in and Onira placed Phae on the bed, pulling up some carpet and a pillow for him to lay down on. He would wait for Phae. Until she woke up, he would not move. It was infact, the least he could do.

[Phae]

It was an hour later when Phae finally stirred. She moaned and turned on the bed...

Wait..bed?!

Her blue eyes fluttered open and she looked up at the ceiling. It was not her...no it was not Junpei's ceiling it was someone elses. She remembered talking with Onira...

OH GOD... she sat up suddenly and looked down. Phew..still clothed..okay breathe Phae breathe. She looked around and saw Onira on the floor and her face went blank again. Void of all emotions but pain and fear.

"Why am I here?" she asked her memory obviously not what it should be. Her voice was distant hurt, lost, dark and also in a whisper.

[Onira]

Onira sat up slowly and looked at Phae. He gave a big, childish grin. He was starting to feel a little more comfortable, and even warm. It was Phae's presence. Even before he had confessed his love, being near her always made him feel good. Made him feel wanted. Needed, even.

"Well..."

Onira slowly picked himself up off the floor, walking to his bed and sitting down. He gave Phae a caring look and a smile. Yup, he seemed back to himself. Well, enough atleast to act like himself. There was still a few emotional problems he'd need to fix with himself, but that could wait until Phae had left. For now, he'd just be the one to reasure. The shoulder, per se.

"I brought you here after you collapsed. Are you okay now?"

Onira was hoping Phae was well rested. He didn't want her to collapse again in the middle of the day. But then again, she seemed completely out of it when Onira brought her up. Maybe her body had minimized the heart rate, and really pushed the envelope to get a lot of rest in a short amount of time. But then again, it was all just theory.

Onira stood up and looked to Phae, his eyes still soft and friendly.

"Would you like some coffee to wake you up?"