Apologies (Phae Only)

[Onira]

Onira sat in the top of the large oak, his white cloak resting over his body. Since the day before, where through much torture, he reclaimed his memories, he had been wearing the cloak again. However, he didn't return to his old black slacks. He had discovered the comfort of jeans, and although hadn't yet slept in them, felt like it wouldn't be too long before he did.

"It's a nice day."

Onira spoke to himself, staring through the leaves at the small gaps of sunlight and sky. He couldn't tell completely, but he figured by the warm winds, the low humidity, and the fact that he saw only blue sky through the leaves, that it was going to be a nice day. Heck, it probably already was a nice day. But it didn't reflect. Onira was fairly miserable, knowing that soon Phae would be in the courtyard for lunch, and he would have to say sorry. However, he didn't feel bad about saying sorry. He felt like it was the right thing to do. However, he didn't know what Phae's reaction would be. Would it be another punch to the eye? Would it be a kick to the chest? Would she accept his apology and not make him feel any kind of pain? All of these were options, and onira was hoping for the latter. He didn't want Phae to hit him anymore. Not because of the pain. He could stop that. But because of what the pain signified. It signified hate. Disgust. Anger. Signified the banishment from one's heart. Onira torn from Phae's. He didn't know if he could take that. Didn't know if he could take being completely looked down upon. Being pushed out and locked from her heart forever. He just, couldn't take such a pain.

"Here goes."

With that word, the bell rung, as if on cue. Onira would wait. Wait for Phae to enter the courtyard for lunch. Hopefully, she would do so. It was all for faith. Faith in decisions, and faith of acceptance. Faith in the ability of the word 'sorry'. Faith in apologies.

[Phae]

The bell rang and a now happier Phae walked into the lunch room. She had begun to heal and her appeitite had returned full force and she actually wore a smile more often now that she had Junpei back in her life and now that she had been getting better. She stood in line and got her favorite turkey sandwhich on wheat bread and a bottle of spring water before walking across the cafeteria and opening the door to the courtyard where she always ate.

Today she was dressed in her favorite lavender skirt the one with the white lace trim on the bottom and a lavender tank top the one that hugged the curves. Her hair that had recently become the bright and shinning mass of red was now hanging down around her shoulders bouncing with health as she stepped into the courtyard her white tennis shoes sinking in the soft green grass her sword as always on her hip. She scanned the courtyard and decided on sitting under one of the large trees in one of the corner areas.

Phae made her way to her favorite spot a book in hand as she sat just on the outskirts of shade underneath this tree. This way she wouldn't be cold in the shade or too hot in the sun she was in the perfect spot. She took off her shoes and set them aside sinking her toes into the grass with a slight giggle. She opened her book and began to read as she took a bite of her sandwhich. Several birds came down to her knowing for a source of food and she had been through the tough months. She sat the book down with a smile. And postponed her own eating as she began to feed the birds with an extra two pieces she had bought just for them. She smiled as she fed them her knees pulled up to her chest as she threw the bread to them.

[Onira]

Onira - with his sometimes overly large flare for the dramatic - watched Phae's hands as she let the bread fly for the birds. Piece after piece finding it's way to the bird's beaks and soon, down their throats. He had an idea. Maybe, just maybe, it would work. One could only hope.

Onira let his body fall off the side, falling now through the only empty part of the branches. Phae was letting a piece leave the bread, it flying through the air. He was close. It would work. He knew it would. It had to. The piece continued on it's path, only about half a metre away from the bird now. However, Onira had gravity on his side, and was getting close. Almost there. The piece continued. Only a foot to go. 29 cm.
25.
24.
21.
But it would get no further. It landed steadily in Onira's mouth and the bird flew backwards swiftly, letting Onira land in a typical dramatic fashion. His head was low and shadowed over. This, paired with the few strands of glowing blond hair in his face, added to the effect of coolness he gave off. But not for long.

A swallow ended Onira's super-cool stance, followed quickly after by a toothy grin.

"Hi Phae! You seem happy!"

[Phae]

Phae continued feeding the happy little birds a smile on her face as she threw out the bread to them. But she wasn't prepared for a boy to jump down out of the tree above her and eat a piece. She looked shocked at the boy... no bastard..yes that was a good word for before her stood Onira.

"Hi Phae! You seem happy!" he said. It seemed exactly like the old Onira. The one that had died not the one that had tried to maul her while she was setting out a memorial for him.

"That was for the birds." she whispered as she turned away from him. She took another bit of her sandwhich now that he had scared the birds off.

[Onira]

Onira fell to his butt and crossed his legs. About what he had expected. He hadn't exactly scored very high with Phae the last time they met. It started with crying, then hugging and crying, then questions, and finally a punch to the eye. The first three stages were okay, but the finale wasn't so great.

"Figured as much."

Onira crossed his arms, cocked an eyebrow, and puffed his cheeks. His left leg ossilated up and down, showing him in deep thought. He wasn't too sure how to approach. Most of his encounters with Phae had either ended with tears or, as said earlier, a fist to the face. Luckily he didn't feel too bad, because although he was the one who caused the crying, he wasn't the one who had punched Phae. That was probably a good thing. One, because if he was the attacker, he could be charged with assault, and two, because Phae didn't know any kind of healing magic. When Onira was hit, he could simply heal himself with some human alchemy. But when Phae was hit, although he could give her a quick healing as well, chances were if he had punched her, he wouldn't to.

Onira sighed and his leg discontinued ossilating. He was ready to express himself. Well, as ready as someone could be before saying sorry to someone who had intended to give them a black eye.

"I'm sorry Phae for what I said. It wasn't my place to be that dumb or cruel towards you."

[Phae]

Phae didn't look at him but she wasn't hungry either. She had promised to eat three times a day until she was back where she had been before he left but suddenly her stomach was as full as possible and with only one bite out of it all together.

"You've said a lot of things since I met you Onira. Which one are you sorry for?'" she asked turning to look at him. "And don't say everything because it's not going to work. I am giving you a chance... I think it's number three perhaps four so please do try for me."

[Onira]

"I'm not too sure what to say, Phae. I know I've said harsh things to you, and I'm sorry for saying them, but I will try harder. It's all I can do isn't it...?"

Onira slowly stood up, stretching out his legs. He had been relaxing for the last half an hour or so, and figured it reasonable to give them a good stretch. He had to keep his body in shape of course. Had to keep it well-toned and well-built. As said, it was all he could do.

"The truth is all you've got when you're dead isn't it?"

Onira gave Phae a stern look, as if the two's eyes were struggling for a victor in the battle. It was intense to watch and do, but Onira knew his next words would Hit Phae hard.

He walked forward, standing infront of her, looking at the exit of the courtyard and trying to keep from looking at Phae too much. He didn't want to creep her out, and definitely didn't want to feel the judging gaze of her powerful eyes as he spoke. It was just too creepy.

"This probably hasn't occured to you yet Phae but..."

Onira let the words hang in the air like a guillotine. A sword that was about ready to drop.

"You never told me your name when I returned."

Onira begun to walk away.

[Phae]

Phae listened and then her eyes grew wide with what he said. Holy crap! He was back. She was up and ran to him throwing herself his arms as she held him tightly. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Onira." she whispered she didn't care if he hugged her back. But she had to do this. She had always cared for him. She stood there holding him for a few minutes her tears dripping down to him she wasn't really crying but she was happy he was back really back. She pulled back but stayed close.

"Onira, I missed you so much. Your death, it took a very large toll on me. And then ... when I saw you that day at the memorial I was setting up for you... .... you see I never never stopped caring for you... never once. You've been on my mind since that day except the time when I was unconscious in the hospital."

She looked up into his violet eyes and wiped her cheeks.

"Please don't go. I want to talk with you. I want to get to know you to be your friend. I want you back in my life, Onira." she said.

[Onira]

Onira gave her a wise and knowing smile. He caressed her cheek gently with his hand. Not so much as one would do to their lover, but more as one would do to their younger sister. The first time she was angry. The first time she had come home crying after being teased at school. Just something to tell her you were sorry, without actually having to say it. Something to get the message across, without actually having to deliver it by word of mouth. Just something to help.

"I'm sorry I left you Phae, but I'm back now. I'm here if you need me. I'm here when you want comforting, or when you need a shoulder. And I'm fine to stay, but remember..."

Onira took Phae's hand and gently lowered her back to the bench as he also sat down.

"I've always been your friend Phae. And no matter what, I'll always be in your life. Whether I look down on you from here, or look down on you from the next world, you don't have to worry about me. I'm always with you, even when I'm not..."

Onira lossed his wise and knowing demeanor at the end of that. He lost it when he looked up at the sky, puffed his cheeks, and cocked a brow. he lost it when he spoke his next words.

"If that's possible..."

[Phae]

She closed her eyes at the touch of his hand on her cheek. The eyes and the touch seemed to tell her how sorry he was for the turmoil her life had been put through which all started with a kiss. She let herself be led to the bench and she sat down absorbed in his words.

"Onira. That day when you jumped... why why did you have to jump? And then... the kiss ... just the other day... why ... why was that?" she asked not letting go of his hand.

She had so many questions but she was trying to start off slow. She reached up and brushed his own cheek.

"I cried for so long lost in a world of sorrow. It is so good to see you back. I never wanted you gone." she picked up the necklace that had hung around her neck since he had given it back to her.

[Onira]

Onira was pulled back into the world of deep emotions by both Phae's words and her touch. He closed his eyes, letting her pale fingers warm his cheek, and letting his ears absorb the words whole-heartedly.

"I jumped for the reason everybody jumps. The world became too much, and I had to hope for a better one in the next life. The reason for the kiss? Well, that I can't explain. But I want you to know that if it where me... the real me I mean. The one that sits with you now. If it were me, it wouldn't have happened. I made some selfish mistakes in the past. Thinking only of what I wanted. But I've realised now that the love I craved is miniscule to the love you have. Please don't hold my mistakes against me. I'm glad you wished me back, but I would be more happy and more joyful if you accepted me over what I last left you with. The selfish, stupid, corrupted creature I took over the edge of babylos. Will you forget it and remember me? This me?"

Onira now clasped both of Phae's hands inside his, looking at her with his caring, generous, violet orbs. Pleading for Phae's forgiveness. Wanting her forgiveness more than he wanted her. Wanting her to accept his apologies. All of them he offered, but in the end, only one floated to the top.

"Please forgive me for my selfishness."

[Phae]

Phae listened her eyes never leaving the violet orbs of Onira. The real and true Onira the one she had thought came back but didn't. And now it seemed there was something different.

"Onira. I will forgive you for everything ever done between us. I forgave you before you jumped. I came out there that day to stop you because I care for you so much. No, I cannot return the love you have for me. But Onira you are like a brother. Like one I never had. I need you in my life Onira. We did not work so hard to bring you into warmth and light for you to lose everything we have gained. When you had come back and I saw you I thought it was a miracle. But it wasn't you. And..."

She took a deep breath and blushed.

"I'm sorry I punched you but you kissed me again! And that was so hard for me because it was obviously you but not you and then you kissed me hard and then I punched you because it hurt me. I'm sorry. I want us to be friends again." she told him not letting go of his hands. She someone seemed to need contact with him as if to make sure it was really him.

[Onira]

Onira gave an understanding nod, and then a toothy grin. He let go of Phae and jumped backward, going right over the edge of the bench to backflip and land infront of the tree he had fallen out of only a minute ago.

"Don't forget Phae..."

Onira gave a wink and a thumbs up, adding another big grin to the mix. Probably one of his funniest-looking faces, but also one of the most comforting. He placed one of his palms against the tree and the tattoo lit up, the light soon dissapearing to reveal a few grooves in the tree. They were for climbing.

"Your friend Onira will always be with you. Or should I say...?"

He climbed swiftly up through the grooves, and after only ten seconds, appeared out of the brush about twenty feet up. He flexed his arm with his opposing hand on the inside of it. Something he had done on the day he had met Phae.

"Your big bro! And of course, if anyone bugs you, send 'em to me! I mean it this time!"

And once again, he dissapeared.

[Phae]

Phae stood up when Onira disappeared a bigger smile on her face than before. She knew that Junpei would not understand but she knew that Onira was a good friend had always been a good friend until that kiss. He seemed to understand now that her love for Junpei was much greater than the love she could have for anyone else and so it was a good thing in her mind.

"Good bye, Onira. Brother." she said with a smile and grabbed her book throwing her uneaten sandwhich away. She smiled up at the tree one last time before she headed off back into the building.

She stopped and looked back.

"I'll never forget but I will always forgive." she told him and then left to go back to her studies.