Awake (Phae)

[Onira]

(OOC: Note that this is a continuation of this thread.)

Onira sat up slowly and looked at Phae. He gave a big, childish grin. He was starting to feel a little more comfortable, and even warm. It was Phae's presence. Even before he had confessed his love, being near her always made him feel good. Made him feel wanted. Needed, even.

"Well..."

Onira slowly picked himself up off the floor, walking to his bed and sitting down. He gave Phae a caring look and a smile. Yup, he seemed back to himself. Well, enough atleast to act like himself. There was still a few emotional problems he'd need to fix with himself, but that could wait until Phae had left. For now, he'd just be the one to reasure. The shoulder, per se.

"I brought you here after you collapsed. Are you okay now?"

Onira was hoping Phae was well rested. He didn't want her to collapse again in the middle of the day. But then again, she seemed completely out of it when Onira brought her up. Maybe her body had minimized the heart rate, and really pushed the envelope to get a lot of rest in a short amount of time. But then again, it was all just theory.

Onira stood up and looked to Phae, his eyes still soft and friendly.

"Would you like some coffee to wake you up?"

[Phae]

She watched unable to stop Onira from sitting down next to her. She moved over a little not needing another kiss at the moment and she looked up at him as he spoke.

"I...fainted?" she moaned and threw her head into her hands. Oh God she really had over done it. But problem is that would probably be the only way she was ever going to get rest right now. She couldn't sleep alone and she couldn't sleep knowing Jun was out there without her and not knowing whether he still loved her or not.

"No, I don't need coffee I need a shotgun or a hammer something to end my life to make it easier on the whole world." she mumbled and stared at the floor.

[Onira]

Onira gave a dissapointed sigh, sitting down on the bed once again. He looked at Phae and shrugged slightly, thinking about what to do. His orbs were directed at the solomn seal on his palm, now wearing a semi-serious look. He had an idea to make Phae feel a little better, and possibly even get some sleep. It was unnatural, as was any form of magic, but it was probably better than leaving Phae suicidal.

Onira nodded to himself. He looked back at Phae and approached her slowly, feeling like he was dealing with a very nervous animal. A cat that was unsure of it's environment.

"Don't worry, Phae. I've got something to make you feel better."

Onira would slowly extend his palm to place it on Phae's arm, giving her a look to say 'it's okay'. Onira would then focus into his palms, lighting up the tattoos. The chemical reaction in Phae's body was one of a few to induce a pleasurable reaction through her body. The emotional side of the brain was also modified just a little, so that Phae would no longer be depressed, but instead happy and energetic. Onira felt bad for doing it, but figured it probably for the better.

[Phae]

His hands would never land on her body. She moved fast she was off the bed and over by the door one hand on the doorknob. She looked back into the room at him and a sadness and pain was in her every feature.

"That got us in this position in the first place." she whispered. "I don't know what you were trying to do but it isn't going to help me. Nothing in this world is going to help me until I see Junpei back and that isn't likely to happen soon."

She sat down on the floor by the door blocking it as she leaned against it holding her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth slightly. Tears leaked from her eyes her red tired eyes. But she couldn't wouldn't sleep. And she stared at Onira and stayed in her spot unmoving. If he wanted her he would have to come get her. Not that that was much of feat as she figured he had carried her up here.

[Onira]

Onira turned around slowly, looking at Phae with undecided eyes. He didn't know what to do. He felt for Phae. He knew she had lost a lot. She had lost Onira's friendship. Lost Junpei's love. Seemed to lose her own happiness and joy. In a way, she was broken. Wasn't working right. However, this was one broken machine Onira couldn't fix with alchemy. Phae wouldn't let him. She needed a friend. Not an alchemist.

"Alright."

Onira sat down on the bed, not in the mood to enjoy it's soft and comfortable feel. No, he was there only to talk now. Only to try and help. But, he wasn't good with those situations. He had never really had to comfort somebody before. Never had to heal their emotional wounds. But, it was worth a try. Onira started slowly.

"Phae..."

Onira was looking fior the right words. He wasn't all that sure of what was the correct way to talk to her. Unsure of what to say. However, he figured he'd just go with it.

"May I be your friend?"

[Phae]

She heard his words and immediatly she wanted to shoot back at him the one thing that ran through her mind.

"Onira, you were my friend. You were my friend before you decided to kiss me, before you decided to love me. You were a wonderful friend. One that made me laugh, one that I felt close to. I miss you as my friend Onira. I miss all my friends." she began to cry again.

She stayed in that spot unmoving still rocking back and forth as she watched him she finally whispered.

"Can you be my friend again Onira? Can you really?"

[Onira]

Onira listened carefully to Phae's words, a slight smile coming to his face. Nothing evil or sadistic or anything like that, it just gave him an odd feeling of deja vu, which was strange, for he never remembered talking to anyone like this before. He just dismissed it however as an odd intuition spark, something one could easily ignore. Then the words came to him. Could he really be her friend again? Really deny his feelings and just pretend like nothing ever happened? Like he didn't love her?

"I guess..."

It took a second for Onira to swallow the words. He was starting to know his role. Starting to remember it. What he was. What group he fell into once again.

"I can't. I can't just throw away the feelings I have. Can't forget what's happened. What I have inside. My love. My desire to hold you as Junpei does. However, I'm not Junpei. I admire that you hold strong to your feelings even when I so easily threaten them, but yes, I do wish I held you and Junpei did not. I wish I were to feel what he does whenever in your presence. To feel needed so deeply. But I don't, and this hurts me. Not that you will never love me as I do you, but that I have outcast myself to you. I cannot be your lover, and nor can I be your friend. Which means I am merely a stranger. My actions have shown you that. Shown you that I cannot be anything to you but a passer-by. A forgotten one. However..."

Onira's eyes now showed incredibly deep emotion. The words hurt as they left his throat, but he knew he had to let them out. Let Phae know where he was. Know his status.

"I will cherrish our meeting."

[Phae]

Phae sat there staring at him as he told her that he would never be able to think of her as a friend. It was as she feared. She would never leave Junpei and she hoped to all the heavens and all the gods that he had not given up on her but she was not going to give up on him. She had told him that he held part of her soul and it had not been a lie it was true.

She stood up nodding and she touched the door with her hand.

"Onira, I will never forget the day I met you as long as I live. It was a day of cleaning you and helping you off the ground. Getting to know someone so much like me and we clicked. That night lying under the stars after you came to the warmth I will never forget that. I won't forget you ever." she whispered she reached and took something out of her pocket. She walked over and held took his hand in hers for a moment saying goodbye. She pulled away leaving the item in his hand and she turned leaving.

When she left in his hand was the necklace he had made her on their first day. The one that said Love is Eternal. Somehow it had been nullified.

"Goodbye, Onira, my friend." she whispered and stepped back out into the hallway.

[Onira]

Onira sat still, looking at the pendant that lay in his hand. It didn't hurt him so much that Phae had given it back. She was going through rough times. Her lover had just left, possibly because of one of her friends, whom also loved her. A sort of love triangle, Onira figured. Well, a love triangle once upon a time. Now, Onira was alone. Well and truly alone. No one who cared for him. Once again. He was left alone once again. However, this time, he had done it to himself.

Onira leaned back, letting his back fall to the bed. He just wanted to rest. Wanted to sleep and never wake up. Wanted to die. Life no longer seemed worth living. He had no one anymore. That truth floated above the rest. He had not one person who cared whether he lived or died. Which made him start thinking.

What if I did die? Would anyone care? Of course not. Maybe that should be my place. In the next world. Be reunited with the family I never knew. With master. We could watch the stars again. So peaceful. We could sit in the large oak again and just dream. Dream of... peace. Of never ending peace. Forever. Just dreaming. Just...

Onira fell asleep.