Jonathan's Dormitory (Permanent)

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

Jonathan hunkered down his things onto the floor, giving the place a look around. It was plain, medium-sized, white.. he liked it. But his eyes locked onto a piano. The D-13 had done too much. A rare grin crossed his face, behind the mask, which he took off promptly, leaving the door-opening wedge where it was. Changing his clothes, he fitted himself into jeans and a white shirt, unrolling his sleeping bag and lean pillow onto the the corner of the floor, also provided by the D-13. Straightening it up nicely, he looked onto his bags. Time to unload. With two hands, he gripped onto both of his weapon boxes, and put them on the counter, on the small kitchen counter. Looking around, he debated with himself where to put them. The corner of the dormitory would have to do for now..

****Twelve Minutes Later, Three Minutes Later Then Expected ET****

Well, it was a place he could sleep in, a place he could call home. Nothing fancy, it was mostly all plain white, but there was a fridge, a kitchen, a kitchen sink, a little one-man bathroom, and, in his 'sleeping room' a piano. Bending down to his bags, he dragged them off, to the foot of the kitchen counter, and fiddled inside one of them until he got out what appeared to be a piano book. Without hesitation, he headed to the Piano, and flipped open, through a few pages, until he reached one of his favored songs. "Late Goodbye".

OOC: Late Goodbye Sample Music (To Understand the Tune)

Jonathan's hands bent themselves gently, lightly putting his fingers onto the piano pieces, and played around with it. It was in tune. Perfect for practice, then. His eyes were on the lyrics, though his mouth didn't say anything.. his hands had memorized the keys for this song, at least..

"In our headlights
staring, bleak
beer cans
deer's eyes"

Even with his pills still active, he was getting a little enthusiastic, starting up, looking into the sky, perhaps a little dramatically, forgetting the open door.

"On the asphalt
underneath
our crushed plans
and my lies"

Jonathan's eyes lowered down to the keys, drinking in the emotion. He wasn't playing the piano. Alone, he was standing in the streets, watching as the beautiful night played a symphony, despite everything going wrong. Nothing could stop him from smiling.

"Lonely street signs
power lines
they keep on flashing
flashing by"

His eyes looked from place to place, as he walked further into this dream world, looking from place to place, a happy feeling, somewhere he was content. Much like the snow.

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye
such a late goodbye"

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye"

In a car, his mind turned to those still at the D-13. So many had died in the recent Beast Revolutions. Painful, but, they had done their jobs. Never could he forget their faces, while they were still in the barracks, training for fateful days like these, the smiles on their bag-wearied eyes. It was too late, but as he drove past them, he waved goodbye. Fitting for such soldiers to have died for their country.

"Your breath
hot upon my che-"

"Your breath
hot upon my cheek
and we crossed
that line"

Ah, this was always the part he had trouble with. Distracting was what it was. But, wishing didn't do anything. Slipping in and out of the dream world, he pressed on, determined not to make anymore mistakes in his playing.

"You made me strong
when I was feeling weak
and we crossed
that one time"

Sergent Benzel was a good man.. after all those years, he almost seemed to understand Jonathan. Almost. But it was good enough, considering. He just couldn't say good bye to his sergent, though. Not dead yet. And at least, those back in his squad would still have Benzel to make sure they were in top form. He'd better make sure none of those bastards died on him, while he was away.

"Screaming stop signs
staring wild eyes
keep on flashing
flashing by"

The world kept going faster. Memories flashed through. All Jonathan could do was embrace them. Regret was used for learning. Mistakes were used for growing. Life was too short to live in complete misery, after all. People shouted to him, and he could only wave, smiling in his happiness, the joy of driving through his mind, this bliss of playing the piano.

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye
such a late goodbye"

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye"

"The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us
points at your flaming hair and then we're playin' hide and seek"

Life was never easy. It never gave you a fair share of what it was really worth. You just had to give what you could with all your heart, give it, and be given in turn by rare generosity. Even if life was to grow hard.. Jonathan wouldn't have any quells. He loved the song, the meaning all so clear to him.

"I can't breathe easy here 'less our trail's gone cold behind us
'til then the John mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak"

And even in the midst of his life.. despite how he was delt with, what he was, how life delt with him, and how things would happen, he would forge a path of his own, where ever his life took him. People may die prematurely, but the steps they leave behind for others to follow help pass the strength to the next generation. No time to falter. Only to grow for the sake of others.

"We keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye
such a late goodbye"

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye
such a late goodbye"

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye
such a late goodbye"

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye
such a late goodbye"

"And we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye
such a late goodbye"

"And we keep driving into the night..."

Jonathan didn't want to stop playing, so, he began again, playing it a few times, completely losing himself in the song. He couldn't even remember that he had kept the door open. Anyone could just waltz right in.

[Phae]

Phae walked through the halls. Her eyes..red. Hair..dull. Heart..broken. Mind..lost. She was dressed in one of Jun's black sweatshirts she had found in the back of thier closet and a pair of her own jeans. She was wearing purple fuzzy house shoes as she made her way through the dormitory. It was night time and she couldn't sleep as usual.

She heard music coming from a room and she looked seeing the door cracked. She remembered this dorm from earlier as Jonathon Winters. He was a nice and quiet boy but the music was beautiful. She wiped a stray tear off her cheek and slid the door open. The light was on..damn..he would see that she looked like hell that the sweatshirt was hiding a weight problem but she didn't care the music was somehow soothing. She stepped just inside the door and sat down leaning against the wall as she listened trying to be quiet and not distrub him.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

"Lonely street signs
power lines
they keep on flashing
flashing by"

His eyes devoured the lyrics, feeling the music, unable to hear it. Piano playing was truly a relaxtion from life. It wasn't a noise, and if he made a mistake, he could always fix it. He played through some lyrics, unaware of his new guest.

"Your breath
hot upon my che-"

"Your breath
hot upon my cheek
and we crossed
that line"

Man. He really needed to get over that. But, he'd forgotten his pill.. crap. Oh well. He could skip it, for just an hour more, right? No, best not, should keep to daily ordeals, to keep from getting stale and- As he began to turn around in his chair, about ready to get back up, when he saw a black-sweatshirted Phae, jeans, distorted hair, his eyes looked everywhere, finally, directing it into her eyes. Her eyes. Wrong, this felt wrong. He stood up, with a decisive quietness, looking at her, as if to indicate something, but not alluding exactly to what that was. Then, he vanished from sight. Nothing was there. Nothing..

Jonathan had used 'Mutter' and 'Ghost', so that he couldn't be heard, and so that he couldn't be seen. There was a reason behind the disappearance. As he stood there, watching, cloaked in his very own room, burning a little energy, he walked, feet going as quietly as ever, even though he probably couldn't be heard anyways, with 'Mutter' on, and walked into his kitchen, opening up some small cabinets where some blankets were, a mug, some cocoa, some things he used himself to get down from a particularly hard day, something he hadn't used in months, since the last battle with the Beasts. He couldn't bring himself to, not after that Black Dragon killed so many, but, otherwise, it had no real affect on him.

For Phae, a good three minutes passed while Jonathan had disappeared, when the microwave suddenly started on its own in the other room, and suddenly, Jonathan appearing before her, just a white sleeveless shirt and regular jeans on, just sandals, small emergency blanket extend fully out in both hands, as he slowly bent over to her, and put it over Phae, up to her neck. Standing back up, he looked at her, deep sympathies in his eyes, though he still didn't know why she looked and felt so sad. It looked as though, perhaps, she had gained a little weight.. cocoa was, still, however, the best choice of drink. He stood there, still staring into her eyes, trying to figure her, face completley blank, when the microwave sounded off. Turning to it, he shook his head, and reached into his left pocket, pulling out a small pill bottle labeled, 'E-Killer', and and uncorked automatically, due to habit, and popped one into his mouth, swallowing it, still as blank-faced as ever. Then, nodding at Phae, he walked into the other room.

She was sad, stricken, perhaps, Jonathan could only guess. He stopped for a bit, in front of the microwave. He would have to say something. Something. But not yet, it wasn't the right time. And, for a sniper, timing was everything. It was known to change things, sometimes entire wars. Taking out the mug of cocoa, he strode back in, quietly, and crouched next to her, the mug held very gently in his right hand, holding it up to her mouth, nodding at her, his eyes still looking at her eyes, as if trying to see what was wrong. And when she would accept his offer, he would help her tip the mug, to sip. Kindness was nothing he could really say... but, at least, he had enough to at least do what was needed to show it. Her eyes.. her eyes. He stared into her blue eyes, not intensely, just... asking.

[Phae]

It may look by the sweatshirt that she had gained weight but in face she had lost much weight since Junpei had left gained muscle in her new excercise routine that kept her busy all day. She didn't eat anymore. She didn't sleep anymore so her mind still had plently of idle time. Last time she had eaten was the day before yesterday and it was a bowl of broth she had drank to keep herself alive. Why did she keep herself alive? Well at this point she had no idea what so ever. Though his name...Junpei's name kept running through her mind. She would stay alive for him because through all of this she loved him so much but she feared they would change because of this.

She noticed when the music stopped and looked up she saw that he looked at her and then suddenly he disappeared. She looked around the room but didn't move she just stayed in that spot waiting for him to come back. If he didn't come back soon she would leave and continue her night alone. But then he was there a blanket in his arms as he covered her up to the neck she looked up at him. Not expecting such kindness it was wonderful that her silent friend could offer this to her. She wanted to smile at him but she couldn't.

Then he disappeared in the other room again and came back with a steaming cup of cocca. She smiled weakly and as he held it to her mouth she took a small sip her stomach almost rejecting it. She lurched for a moment as her stomach tried to figure out what to do with no food for so long it was in shock at the sudden influx of sugar. She took another gentle sip before letting an arm snake out of the blanket as she took hold of the cup.

"Thank you, Jonathon." she said in a low voice almost devoid of all emotion. She was getting better slowly but it was still hard to get through the daily things. She had thrown herself into training and had skipped every class she had not caring if she went or not. She spent as little time in their dorm as possible taking to walking the grounds, the city, the woods, anywhere at night she roamed the halls.

She leaned her head against the wall and cradled the warm cup of the sweet liquid in her hands. She looked into it's depths and took another slow sip. She looked up into his eyes and saw his concern and she smiled weakly again.

"My life...is not what it once was." she said. "So many things have happened and I am lost. You play so beautifully it made me almost forget for a few minutes the pain. Thank you for those few minutes."

She took another sip and her eyes slid closed. She felt safe here for some reason. She was so tired. She had passed out earlier today from exhaustion. But that one hour and all the emotional and physical strain she had put her body through after that was definatly not helping. For some reason her silent friend seemed to comfort her. She wasn't sure if she would fall asleep but her hand reached out for his needing touch craving that comfort if she found it she would grasp it gently and slip into a deep sleep. If not she would open her eyes and take another sip and decide to stay awake for yet another day.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

"Thank you, Jonathon." Jonathan flinched slightly at this. This wasn't the same girl he had met a few weeks ago, all happy and what not. She seemed to notice this, as he continued to stare, not rudely, but.. with concern. As much concern as a man could show on two people's second meeting. More then that, actually. "My life...is not what it once was." she said. "So many things have happened and I am lost. You play so beautifully it made me almost forget for a few minutes the pain. Thank you for those few minutes." A few minutes... away from the pain. Pain? He stared ahead, stretching out his legs, pulling out a small booklet, which had a pen, holding onto its rungs. Suddenly, her hand came closer to his. He almost backed up, defensively, but his mind was in control. Just. Wasn't. Used to such a touch. It was more then what eyes had to offer, but it craved for something. He couldn't help, but quiver slightly. Blushing in his mind would be the best way to describe it, but then, he looked at her. Really looked at her. Tired, exhausted, sad, seeking rest.. crucial signs of something terrible. He had seen... good men die. So many men die to such emotions. In truth her movement to touch him scared him, a little. But he had to.

His right hand, already resting at his side, went to meet her hand, his left hand going to the back of her head. Clasping the hand with the cup, he set it down, on the ground. She needed sleep. She needed a few days off. Right now, though, she needed rest. Rest. Cupping her head within his hands, he smoothed it over, gently, gently, as gently as he ever held anything, even as he would caress his M82A1. Caressed it down slowly, until her head rested on his lap. He looked at her, still blank-faced. However he could help... however he could help. His hands stroked over her forehead, just quietly. Comrade.. no, classmate. No. Friend. She was a friend. Duty lay in him now, an old soldier's feeling, even in spite of his young age. Loyalty. What should he say? Should he say nothing at all? Probably... no. His German. At least that part of his mind was still clear. "..." His two forefingers from his left hand, crossed over her hair, over her eyes, trying to close her eyelids, cupping her chin, looking at her, a lullaby. "..." Yes. A lullaby. "...nun liebe kinder... gebt fein acht... ich bin di stimmer... aus, dem kissen..." Now... little children... pay attention... I am the voice.... from the pillow....

Jonathan's rather deep, but melodic voice went on, speaking for the first time to her, not stuttering, it seemed so naturally, like cooing a child to sleep. He would get her to sleep. Continuing to pet her, he continued, "..." No. Those first few lines were the only good parts. His left hand kept at her, caressing around her face, patting her in, making sure her blanket was snug around her, with the touch of delicacy to the endpoint of everymovement. Taking up the pen in his right hand, he began to write softly. A more suitable poem. Yes.. that's right... pausing to look at her, at her hair, he continued to write, sometimes crossing out parts. But, looking up, and then looking back down at her, he put down the pen, and held her head in his hands, close to his body. For now, she needed rest. A poem could be written when more was told. That was the time when he truly hoped to listen to her story.

[Phae]

Phae felt his hand take away the cup of cocca and she didn't fight it she was so tired so exhausted yet could never find sleep and peace. She kept seeing Onira jump over the edge, hearing Junpei leaving, hearing her heart crying in the darkness these would never let her sleep.

She felt him touch her head in the most comforting manner. To her it was like her mother or fathers touch when she was ill or hurt. All the comfort in the world lay in the touch as they tried to get her to calm down or feel better. She missed those days and here was her silent friend never uttering a word yet his touch and his eyes conveyed so much. The boy that never spoke unless you listened.

He put her head in his lap and began stroking her hair and her face Phae's eyes were closed her body relaxed as she let him run his hands through her hair. She had not been his comfortable not this relaxed since that day how long ago was it? She couldn't remember all she knew was that she never wanted to remember it yet knew it would always be there.

But the words. When his soft voice first sung out she opened her eyes briefly. And then the words..in German her own native tongue he didn't even know that and here he was her silent friend singing to her cradling her in his arms taking care of her when no other could. Jun was gone when she needed him most her engagement ring still on her finger having never removed it since the day he gave it to her.

"Thank you." she whispered when he stopped singing and she finally in all the days awake with no food and way too much strain she fell asleep in the arms of Johathon Winters his bedroom door still open and Phae curled up in his lap the only sleep she had been graced with in days. She couldn't sleep alone anymore and she couldn't sleep trouble by her recent experiences. To say that Phae was a scarred girl was an understatement. She was bleeding on the inside and no one was here to staunch the flow.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

"Thank you." were the last words she whispered, her weighed with burdens that Jonathan could only imagine. His right hand stopped for a while, just resting on her forehead, as he leaned back against the wall, looking up at the sky. Quiet. It was nice and quiet now. Looking down at his friend, he swallowed a little. What could've happened to make such joyous, beautiful woman, such as her, become so crestfallen? Whatever they were, even if he had not experianced them, himself, she had his deepest sympathies. But, she'd hurt her neck, if she slept on his lap. Quietly, he hovered his left hand over her legs, until it reached just above her knees, before going under, all the while, pressing his right hand, gently as ever, eyes staring at her closed eyes, smoothing back her hair, sneaking back, to her upper back. With what was suprisingly small effort, he lifted her up, while sitting his feet back up, to stand. She was so light, this wasn't healthy. His face was blank... blank... but there was a tear trickling down his left eye, the only part of him that still could speak.

A few gentle steps were all it took to get to the corner of the room, where he kneeled down, still holding her up, slowly descending her down, blanket and all, onto his sleeping bag, patting in her head, to make sure it was properly on the pillow, so as to not cause any discomfort. Standing up, he paused again, staring at her, staring at this literal 'sleeping beauty'. But she seemed so fragile, so vulnerable, even with her eyes closed, she looked as if nothing in the world was right. And maybe, nothing in her world was right. Turning around, he went back for his booklet and pen, closing the door as he did, which barely made a sound, and walked back to Phae, sitting next to her head, with his legs crossed, indian style. Resting the booklet on his right knee, he gingerly sent out his left hand to rest on her forehead, not really patting, just letting it lie there, as if to feel for something. Watching her closely he began to write something.. a little something, in his booklet. Not much. Just something. Her hair. Red roses. His eyes were beginning to grow weary, being only half open, now, as he looked at her, as if to guard over her, his hand motionless over her forehead. Closing for a moment, his eyes snapped back open. Weary.

His pills. Right.. had to take them.. no. His right hand stayed where it was. Still as a statue. Tonight, he would bear with his dreams. Wavering, his eyes finally conceded defeat. For half a moment, after his eyes had closed, they became wide-eyed, looking around, but even then, his body didn't move. Satisfied with the safety, they began to waver a little more.. and finally, still in the same position, still sitting up, but slightly hunched over, sleep took him.

It was the same dream, whenever he didn't take the emotion. Always the same dream. There was nothing at first, a real sleep. But then.. his eyes became wary of how everything was glowing a seemingly dark, light green. Looking around, he found there was resistence in his movement. Water. He was in water. Slowly putting his hands to his face, he found the breathing tube, the feeding tube, wrapped tightly around his mouth. It hurt. Looking down below him, there were more suction tubes, with long hoses sticking out of them as well. His eyes followed them up, seeing them disappear above in the dark light green of the waters. The same dream. Two metallic claws came from the distance, as if to imitate humans. Operations. Implants. Here we go..

~~~~~~~ Uncertain Time Ratio ~~~~~~~~

His eyes blinked open. Dark. He had only fallen asleep for a few minutes. And he had managed to dodge the dream. His right hand felt uneasy, but, eventually, went into his pocket, and pulled out the pill bottle. He wasn't sweating or anything, he noted to himself.. just had been in that dream too many times, felt it too many times. And he already knew why. But, for some reason, it didn't affect him, only in his dreams. A pill popped into his mouth, and he swallowed it, contented. Closing his eyes forcibly, he let the alluring jars of sleep take him once again.

[Phae]

Phae slept for the first time in days. She had taken a small undeserved nap on the bed in Xeryth's room before hastily leaving embarrassed and unable to sleep again. And as with all sleep comes dreams but these dreams were not the pleasant light dreams of a the girl she once was these were the horrible memories come to haunt the now desolate girl who was cold all the time. Her body shivering in her sleep despite the sweatshirt and the blanket her mind knew she had with her.

****

Phae watched her own view of what had happened in the last several days. The events that sent her life spiraling out of control into the darkness where it dwindled still deeper down with no way for her to come back. In her dream she saw Onira's face before he kissed her. Saw the anger in Junpei's face and the anger of his actions. She saw the confession and heard the running steps as Junpei left her alone all alone to deal with the world.

**Phae begins to cry as her memories run forth through her mind tears streaming down her face in her sleep.

"Jun.." she whispered her brow furrows.**


Fast forward to Onira's room when she had collapsed from exhaustion. When he told her he couldn't think of her as a friend when he told her he would always love her and nothing else. She had said goodbye to him then..

Fast forward to yesterday. She knelt on the ground Onira cupping her cheek telling her that he would always be with her and always love her before he kissed her forehead and ran off the edge of the city...

***

"NO!" she sat up quickly realizing where she was. Still living in the same hell she had accidentally fallen asleep in. Pale light filtered into the room..it was morning..another morning in this hell. "Oh God.."

She fell back on the sleeping bag she saw Jonathan next to her but she couldn't say anything. She curled up on her side and began to cry. She thought she was done crying but it never seemed like she could stop. She began to sob silently her body shaking with the force of each one the tears streaming from her face down into the blanket she had wrapped around her.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

Morning. "NO!" That was not the cry of a rooster. Phae had risen up, moving his left hand, which had been resting on her, the whole night. His mind told him not to open his eyes, to feign that he was still asleep. Observe with his ears. "Oh God.." Then... sobbing followed it. Jonathan trembled greatly at this.. never had he heard a girl really.. really cry in front of him. The few ocassions had been from times they had been dying, or something... this sounded worse. His eyes switched open, seeing her for the first time that morning. Morning. She trembled, crying quietly. Jonathan felt horrified. The effects of the pills, still in place, but he still felt horrified. His eyes were yearning for her to stop, trying to figure out what to do, confusion filling his mind. Never had he once before been in a situation like this. At once, his mind began to clear itself, trying to focus. Focus. Calm. There was an answer. And it was only more so obvious. But first... his legs, they were almost asleep, from sitting with his legs crossed all night.

Stomping on them a little, both to get blood flowing in them, and to get her attention, he stopped after a bit. He had a schedule today... but it looks as though he'd have to change that. Drastically. Far more important things. Not quite standing, he kneeled to the side of Phae, where she lay crying.. crying. Shaking. His left hand crept towards her shoulder, somewhat hesistent. It paused there in the air, for a moment, taking the time to just look at her. Contented, his hand went to her left shoulder, his left hand going to her right, scooping to her back, and slowly pulling her to face him, looking at her. Now. "..N-now. S...s-s-s-sspeak. S-speak a-an-and Y...You-you will be l-listened t-to.. s-speak. P-ph-Phae." He was a stutter. But, he trusted her too much, trusting in that she wouldn't betray his sudden giving of one of his vulnerabilities. His eyes, looking at her, imploringly, he pulled her further onto him, resting her chin on his right shoulder, patting her on the back with his left hand. Phae. Why were you crying? Why does this affect me so much? Questions that ran through his mind. It felt so strange.. the pills.. the pills.

[Phae]

Phae felt him touch her but she didn't move. She had heard him stomp his feet but she didn't move. She didn't move until he picked her up and cradled the thin girl in his arms. She hated her life at the moment at this exact time frame the last week everything had fallen to peices. She heard him speak and her eyes finally slid open she cupped his cheek for a moment as he spoke to her to tell her through her own eyes that she appreciated him speaking to her. She felt the comfort he offered and laid her in his arms so she was facing him her chin on his shoulder.

She cried a bit longer holding onto Jonathan for dear life as if he was her last life line to sanity. And truth was he might very well be. Junpei was gone. Onira killed himself. She was all but alone and felt alone no matter what she did. It was going to be harder to tell Jonathan her story than it was to tell Xeryth for two reasons. One because Xeryth and Phae could talk mentally and it was much easier that way. Two because even more had happened since then. She pulled back still staying close but she wanted Jonathan to see her as she spoke.

"It is a very long story." she began and wiped her cheeks as the tears continued to leak but she was no longer sobbing.

"You see, on my very first day at school here I met this guy his name is Junpei. We fell in love fast and we are engaged. At least I think we still are." she told him and looked at the ground before continueing. "Well we've been together a month or there abouts. Well I began to meet his friends and they were all so sweet, Xeryth is a lot like you very quiet and sweet. Though we can talk mentally because he isn't used to talking out loud. Anyway, and there was Onira a very fun quirky guy a lot like me before all this happened."

She swallowed and looked up into his eyes before continueing.

"Well, Onira and I met and he made me this necklace that said 'Love is Eternal' on it. It was a wedding gift for me. Well I wore it every day never taking it off because it meant so much to me. That night, he told me that he lived in the darkness in the cold and always had but after meeting me wanted to come to the light and to the warmth. So I helped him. I stayed out all day and most of a night waiting while he searched his soul and found the warmth he had hidden away long ago."

It was strange right now speaking about it there was no emotion in her voice. The tears still leaked showing that inside she was feeling so much and Jonathan deserved to know. As much as he was helping her he deserved to know everything.

"It was the next day that my life began to fall apart. I was in the dorm room I share with my fiance' reading. It was a day I had no classes and so I was relaxing. A knock sounded on my door and it was Onira. So I let him in because he seemed like he had something he really needed to tell me. So he sat next to me and couldn't do it. But I'm persistant, I thought it was only something wrong not that he had something to say like this. He .. he kissed me."

"Well, of course my fiance' comes home just as I back away but he saw everything and was going to really hurt Onira for doing that. But he didn't giving him a chance to leave. But before he left he told me..that he loved me. I can't return those feelings I am already devoted and in love. I don't commit to things half heartedly when I told Junpei I would marry him I meant every word."

She looked up into Jonathan's eyes when she talked of Junpei her eyes seemed to soften and her face showed that emotion she was becoming void of. It was obvious how much the boy meant to her.

"Well, Onira left then and I began to cry. Because of what I felt for Junpei I couldn't return his feelings. But even more than that I was going to lose a friend through it all. But then something even worse happened. You see when Jun and I dedicated our lives to each other we promised never to leave one another. But that day he told me he couldn't stay that he had to leave and would return when he was ready. Kissed me on the forehead and left so fast I couldn't have followed him if I wanted to."

Tears once more began to roll down her cheeks as she prepared to speak again.

"He left me alone to deal with all this stuff. But then I went to Onira after I collapsed from exhaustian in the courtyard he took care of me and when I woke he told me we could never be friends he would love me forever and couldn't just stay friends. So I gave him back the necklace and told him goodbye. I love Jun and no one else he is my soul mate."

Phae's lower lip began to quiver and she looked directly into Jonathan's eyes.

"Then today.. oh God today. I went to see Onira because though I don't love him I still care. There was a note saying he was going to take his own life. I ran out there to stop him and I fought for his life telling him there were still reasons to live. He..he kissed me on the forehead telling me he would always watch over me and then..."

She broke down into sobs again going back into the embrace and position he had put her in several minutes ago.

"He ran off the edge of the city. Right in front of me." she whispered and then she just stayed in Jonathan's arms crying once more. He now knew the whole story the whole long drawn out story cliff notes version. Now she wondered what he would say.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

"It is a very long story." was her response, finally at last, her crying still there, but no longer so visibly sobbing. She had pulled back herself from his hug, looking at him. Jonathan eased a little, his ears perking up, adjusting himself, staring at her intently, his mouth never quivering. "You see, on my very first day at school here I met this guy his name is Junpei. We fell in love fast and we are engaged. At least I think we still are." Jonathan looked away, in courtousy to how she looked at the ground, almost afraid to look her in the eyes. A first. "Well we've been together a month or there abouts. Well I began to meet his friends and they were all so sweet, Xeryth is a lot like you very quiet and sweet. Though we can talk mentally because he isn't used to talking out loud. Anyway, and there was Onira a very fun quirky guy a lot like me before all this happened." Xeryth, a mental talker? Onira? Onira seemed... familiar. He nodded at her, confirming to her that he was still listening. In the recesses of his mind, he quietly rejoiced in being called 'sweet'. Had a strange ring to it, made him feel something, strange. Good. Good was the word. Pushing that out of his mind, he turned his sights back to her. Now was not the time to think of one's self. She was looking at him, waiting intently to continue her story. His eyes implored her to continue. But more interestingly enough... engaged? And at such an early age? Junpei.. he would remember that name.

"Well, Onira and I met and he made me this necklace that said 'Love is Eternal' on it. It was a wedding gift for me. Well I wore it every day never taking it off because it meant so much to me. That night, he told me that he lived in the darkness in the cold and always had but after meeting me wanted to come to the light and to the warmth. So I helped him. I stayed out all day and most of a night waiting while he searched his soul and found the warmth he had hidden away long ago." Again, she spoke, speaking of her kindness, not boasting of it, but telling of it, as any virtuous man or woman would. Onira, a man who had lived in the darkness... there were so many like him, so many indeed, yet it would just take but a simple realization to realize that only one's self can bring that person out of his own darkness. For Jonathan, it had been that, or lose his sanity, among other things. But to draw out the warmth from the inside... his eye's tune changed, a tint of admiration suddenly added to it. But yet and yet, there was still more, the tale not done yet. Not yet at the heartache.

"It was the next day that my life began to fall apart. I was in the dorm room I share with my fiance' reading. It was a day I had no classes and so I was relaxing. A knock sounded on my door and it was Onira. So I let him in because he seemed like he had something he really needed to tell me. So he sat next to me and couldn't do it. But I'm persistant, I thought it was only something wrong not that he had something to say like this. He .. he kissed me." For a moment, Jonathan flinched. What? Onira, as she had described him, was a friend of Junpei, so surely he would know of their engagement, right? Such a simple act as destructive as an artillary shot scoring a hit on an entire squad. It destroyed people, destroyed lives, he'd seen people die due to hard feelings, both emotionally, and on the battlefield, as it served as a powerful distraction.. but Jonathan now looked at her, a little questioningly, as he held her a little more gently. This was cause for confusion yes, but, did she love Onira back then, that would cause so much heartache? Already, in Jonathan's mind, different variations of stories and end results began to play out, the description of this story normally found in shows involving dramas and affairs, except, this was just worse. This was real life. Jonathan remained still for a moment, his ears perking up really closely, eager to hear for something beyond words.

"Well, of course my fiance' comes home just as I back away but he saw everything and was going to really hurt Onira for doing that. But he didn't giving him a chance to leave. But before he left he told me..that he loved me. I can't return those feelings I am already devoted and in love. I don't commit to things half heartedly when I told Junpei I would marry him I meant every word." Her words spoke true, bringing back a deeper, safely kept comfort about a possible evil. Increasing his hold around her gently, he nodded at her. All he could do was nod. Nod and listen. This was a soap opera, not at its worst, but bad enough, reason enough to listen to this poor girl.

"Well, Onira left then and I began to cry. Because of what I felt for Junpei I couldn't return his feelings. But even more than that I was going to lose a friend through it all. But then something even worse happened. You see when Jun and I dedicated our lives to each other we promised never to leave one another. But that day he told me he couldn't stay that he had to leave and would return when he was ready. Kissed me on the forehead and left so fast I couldn't have followed him if I wanted to." Jonathan's respect for Phae grew slightly. He had become a little worried, as he noticed that she was becoming slightly duller and duller of all sorts of the kind emotions he had become so accustomed to in her as a person, as a... well, girl. Glad to have a slight respite, although something told him the worse had yet to be spoken of. Behind the blank face of Jonathan, the quiet boy braced himself, resisting to quiver. Quiver. Something that had never happened frequently, until he had come to this school. Phae.

"Well, Onira left then and I began to cry. Because of what I felt for Junpei I couldn't return his feelings. But even more than that I was going to lose a friend through it all. But then something even worse happened. You see when Jun and I dedicated our lives to each other we promised never to leave one another. But that day he told me he couldn't stay that he had to leave and would return when he was ready. Kissed me on the forehead and left so fast I couldn't have followed him if I wanted to." At this point, Jonathan wanted to say something, to say 'truly, if he truly loved you, he would not have gone without reason, without heartache', but those were not comforting words. The emotional magnitude of how devastating only scratched on Jonathan, but he recognized the logic behind this curiosity. Hurt, she felt hurt and alone. An inoppurtune time, as well, as she had just had a run in with the confusion, and no one was there to guide her to the light.

The light. A strength Jonathan hoped this girl would realize one day, a strength that Jonathan hoped to achieve, a strength that she had so much of, that she drew people because of this strength. "He left me alone to deal with all this stuff. But then I went to Onira after I collapsed from exhaustian in the courtyard he took care of me and when I woke he told me we could never be friends he would love me forever and couldn't just stay friends. So I gave him back the necklace and told him goodbye. I love Jun and no one else he is my soul mate." The tears began to well up in her eyes again, but Jonathan didn't shudder this time. There was a strength he needed to make sure he had, a strength he had to give. A girl with such a heavy scar on herself.

"Then today.. oh God today. I went to see Onira because though I don't love him I still care. There was a note saying he was going to take his own life. I ran out there to stop him and I fought for his life telling him there were still reasons to live. He..he kissed me on the forehead telling me he would always watch over me and then..." Today? Today a student had taken his own life? WHAT!? Jonathan stared in disbelief, at the wall, just behind Phae, his gaze staring fiercely at the wall. Idiot. Idiot! Was there really such an idiot at this school? No one should die so needlessly. No one. It was the job of one to maintain not only those around him, but himself especially, for it was there in one's self where the spirit of God dwelled, dwelled to guide them. A Christian part of him was pricking him in his head, but he ignored it.

"He ran off the edge of the city. Right in front of me." Jonathan sat back for a bit. She had broken down, the end of the tale, the end of this story. He had had enough. Enough of the sadness, she had been brought down by this man who became infatuated with her, with her kindness. In a truth, he could not blame him, as she had many aspects of her that were so endearing, but... to violate the trust of one's friend was to destroy the intregity of a man's word, a very powerful thing. His eyes looked at her, and then closed, putting her back down to sit on her sleeping bag, wrapping the blanket around her. "W-wait." He stood up, walking over, across the room, over to where the phone hung on the wall. From Phae's view, he could be seen pressing a few buttons, letting it ring for a bit, before putting the telephone to his right ear and mouth. "..Yes. I-I w-want t-to t-take a b-b-b-bre-break to-today, a-alon-along w-wi-with Ph-Phaedra W-Weiss. T-th-thank you, w-we'll g-g-get th-that sick-sickness o-out of o-our sy-sysytems s-soon." Hanging up the phone, he looked at her, and then, walked across, further into the other room, leaving her again without an explanation, except the single order to 'wait'.

The shower began to start up, letting the cold water wash over him. There would be enough hot water for her. Taking a soap bottle, he took a drop into his hands, rubbing it in his hands, vigorously, rubbing it quickly into his scalp, cleaning out his hair, before proceeding to clean out the rest of his body. In less then three minutes, the shower had already stopped, the sound of someone brushing going on. Quickly, he began to go into some cabinets, and taking out a spare towel, toothbrush...

Walking back in the room, he walked in, with just his towel wrapped around his waist, going down to his thighs, covering himself adequatly as he began to head towards his luggage, before stopping, to take a quick glance to Phae. "P-Phae, g-go cle-clean y-yours-self u-up. I-I've s-set u-up sp-spare it-items, a-and t-there is-is p-plenty o-of h-hot w-water i-in t-the sho-shower. I-I'm s-setting u-up f-for o-our tr-trip."

Trip? No, he had not told her what trip was, nor of any plans for it. He was a soldier, and although he had his manners, he still was sometimes lacking in other things, seeing only in the logic of having her clean herself up. Bending down to rummage around in his things, cleaning out his bags, he headed to the fridge, on the verge of smirking to himself, as he began to make several sandwiches. There was a perfect place. A quiet place.

[Phae]

With her story done Phae couldn't help but wonder what this boy her other silent friend thought of all this. She had just brought her own horrible world into his and she didn't know what else to do. She was lost and needed guidance of some sort but it seemed she couldn't find any. Xeryth had helped out with her Junpei abandonment issues but nothing could help her completly unless he returned.

Jonathan laid her back down and wrapped the blanket around her. When he spoke of course she listened. The man rarely spoke and when he did she would always assume it was important. She stayed where she was her sore red eyes staring out as she watched Jonathan actually talk on the phone. Inside she smiled at the thought having never pictured the man actually doing something like that but she definatly thought it was cute.

He then proceded to call them both in sick. She was a bit shocked by the action. Truth was she hadn't gone to class in a week she hadn't gone anywhere accept just walking around and working out. She knew going to class was a waste she wouldn't be able to concentrate and she wouldn't be able to answer any of the questions and things like that.

She watched as Jonathan disappeared into another room and she heard the shower start. She closed her eyes just resting the tired orbs until she heard his voice. She opened her once dazzlingly blue eyes and looked over at him. Trip? They were going on a trip? Well... okay.

She stood up and went into the bathroom shutting the door behind her. She undressed quickly and started the warm water before stepping underneath it. It honestly felt good on her skin and her face just to stand under the head of the facet and let the water run over her. But she didn't want to take too long. She quickly washed and took care of her hair. She turned off the water and hoped out toweling herself off carefully. She could see her ribs poking out of her skin slightly but she just sighed there was nothing she could do about that right now.

She pulled on her jeans and cinched the belt up they were loose now where they had once fit but the belt helped her out in that area. She pulled her shirt back over her head and left the sweatshirt off. She walked back into the other room combing her hair out with her fingers. She sat the sweatshirt down on the desk hoping to not actually need it. It would now be all too obvious how much weight the girl had lost. It wasn't durastic as she had been toned and only fleshed out normally but now her body was hard with working out and no food. She was now skinnier than ever before her shirt hung a bit loosely.

"Where are we going?" she asked as she slipped on her shoes. She had only worn house shoes down here to begin with so they would have to do. She really didn't care otherwise maybe they would go somewhere with grass and she could let her feet sit in the warm grass and maybe she could sleep out there with her friend beside her.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

Ocassionally, Jonathan would slip in a papertowel, wrapping the sandwiches in a mix of a plastic baggie and a paper towel, wrapping it in neatly, putting it in fatigue-designed duffle bag. At least the next day would be a weekend, so that she could sleep in. Fitting over loosely a white, short-sleeved shirt over himself, as he got through to the kitchen again, Phae came out, done with her shower. Quite a short one, he had hoped she would've enjoyed herself in there a little bit longer, at least, but, if haste is how it was to be, he would have to adjust accordingly. "Where are we going?" Jonathan eyed her warily, her clothes fitting on her very loosely, and worse more, for the fact that those were very small clothes to begin with. Forcing himself to ignore that, he continued, going behind the counter, where he had mishapedly put his jeans. Dropping his towel to the ground, he put on his boxers, following up with his jeans, and slapping the towel on the counter, letting it hang over the side, to allow it to dry a little faster. Taking a few steps past Phae, where she stood, he grabbed a little belt that he had put on his hanger, and quickly swung it around, fitting it in with a little bit of uneasy haste on his own mind. Often, he hated how much he'd grown used to this routin- Hated?

Jonathan paused there for a moment, his head slowly realizing, his eyes widening a little, as it began to dawn on him. He was overdue for another pill. Quickly taking a few nimble steps to where he had put his pair of pants from last night, he fingered through the right-hand pocket, finally pulling out the bottle of E-Killers. Opening it, as if it were an ordinary thing, he stared into it, just for a moment, and then, stared back up at Phae. He'd gotten so used to his own polker face, it scarcely mattered... and it would be best if he could be as human as possible, for today, at least. For her sake. The dreams would have to come, that night. He slammed the bottle of pills onto the kitchen counter, next to his towel, in a rare show of frustration with himself, although his face remained lucid as out of habit. E-Killers. On the label, which was pointed towards Phae, it read,

'Ingredients are Secret.
Used to Supress Teenage Hormones,
Kill Usage of Emotions, and to clear
the mind of useless thoughts. Product of the D-13'

Paying the bottle no more heed, he bent down to the duffel bag, lifting it up with fair ease, slinging it on his right shoulder, he bent down towards Phae, his arms outstretched, as if ready to carry her, to have her sit on his shoulders, his head downcast, his eyes covered by the shadows his hair produced. "P-Phae, I-I'm n-not g-g-going t-to l-let y-you w-wa-wAlk, there. I-I a-assure y-you, I-I m-m-must, i-if I-I-I'm t-to s-show y-you wh-wh... s-s-something." His knees bent, ready to lift her up, he had already thought it out. He would need to bend down, on the doors. Something he hoped she might enjoy, a little bit of his abilities so that their 'walk' would go relatively without questions from others. Jonathan resisted grinning to himself.

[Phae]

Phae of course looked away while he dressed even though he was behind a counter she felt it was only proper. When she heard something rattle she turned around and saw him staring as if trying to decide to take a pill or not. She didn't know he was on pills or what they were for but when he closed the bottle almost slamming it down on the counter she jumped.


She moved over and picked them up seeing what they were for her eyes widening as she read the description. So.. that's why his face always stays so.. distant. She set them down letting her hand linger on the bottle as she turned to her silent friend.

"Why do you keep taking them? It cannot be healthy hiding you emotions like that. What are so wrong with emotions that it is better to supress then let them out?" she asked.

Then he surprised her once more by saying he was going to carry her to their destination and then he knelt down in front of her. She bit her lower lip thinking about it for a moment. She nodded knowing he was going to make her anyway so she climbed onto his back.

"I hope I'm not to heavy." she said laying her head flat on his back her eyes closing. "Thank you." she whispered before he wold stand. She was still very tired but knew that the sleep she had gotten the night with Jonathan would be it because she wouldn't put him out another night and she wasn't going to bother anyone either.

[Jonathan Winters *Deceased*]

"Why do you keep taking them? It cannot be healthy hiding you emotions like that. What are so wrong with emotions that it is better to supress then let them out?" These words resounded through Jonathan's mind, awakening memories he didn't want to think about it. He'd accepted them, sure, but, that didn't mean he had to like them. Although refusing say anything on that matter, he ment no rudeness.

Phae took a moment, after he had made his offer, from the shadows, beneath his hair, watching as she bit her lip, closing his eyes for a moment. Finally, she went onto his back, resting her head against him. "I hope I'm not to heavy." She was warm, very warm.... but she was also light, too light to be healthy. Bending his head down, he shook his head to himself, turning his head to the side, to look at her, saying, ".. I-If y-ya-you w-were r-r-r-really s-such a-a-a-a b-burd-den, I w-would g-glad-dly c-carry y-you... R-Rosenrot P-Phaeda W-Weiss." Rosenrot. Rose-red. Turning his head around, as his hands went down to support her legs grip on his body, he permitted himself to smirk to no one.

... Scanning. Dual Shielding.

Activativating Codename: "Ghost". Activating Codename: "Mutter".

From the room, Jonathan and Phae vanished. Through Jonathan's eyes, he viewed the world in a new dark way, of dark-bluish hues, as was a side-effect of having the 'Ghost' shielding cover everything, including his eyes. And, because Phae was touching, it was easy enough to extend the shields a bit to cover her as well. They were both invisible, both contained to only hearing themselves speak. Turning his head around again, he nodded at Phae, as he turned around to look at himself. Even though it was shielding, he himself looked fairly translucent, as did she, meaning that the spell was in perfect working order. Taking a few slow practice steps, which were fairly even-footed, to avoid the cajoling that Phae might experiance, he headed to the door, turning around the knob with relative ease, by twisting to the right, while still supporting Phae's right leg, and then, bending down so that neither of them bumped their heads against the top of the doorway's top, before straightening out again, and walking at a slow pace, through the corridors.

It amazed him, that, out of all the times he had gone through these corridors, he had never decided to use his abilities to avoid getting looked at. They passed by a several students in the corridor, Jonathan always side-stepping, or sometimes back-peddling to avoid stepping on someone's shoes, to avoid alerting someone to their presence, quietly gripping Phae tighter to alert her to possible sudden movements he might make. Slowly, but surely, he made his way, eventually to the much more crowded area of the main hallway, where there was much hustle and bustle from all the ongoing students, taking steps to avoid walking into them, making his way through, his duffel bag sometimes bumping into someone, in unavoidable collisions, often resulting in the person looking around, a little confused, before shrugging his or her shoulders, and going on his or her way. A good twenty minutes was spent in this little game of human dodgeball, when finally, Jonathan took a step out, to the front of Arcane Academy, where the sun was shining beautifully. Babylos lay straight ahead.. so Jonathan immediatly turned around to his right, going through various pathways, where trees of various types were around, and the grass just gleaming in pride of a glorious day, a beautiful day, a day that Jonathan wanted to be able to give to Phae, just to be able to see her smile again. But he said nothing, nothing, as he walked through the grassy fields, to a familiar place, a place that he had first arrived to the area of Arcane Academy from, the last time he had seen his sergent, the time he had lost his rank as Corporal. It seemed just like yesterday, really, a yesterday that had been years ago.

They were getting close, the grass was rising, as Jonathan spotted an old oakwood tree in the distance. For a moment, Jonathan stopped, letting Phae readjust on him, just watching this place. Such a beautiful day. Turning around, he looked at her. Such a beautiful day. Junpei.. the man who loved her so much... this Roserot girl, did even begin to know how lucky he was, even if he did have but a glimpse of it. Jonathan smiled to himself, his eyes closing for a while, taking in the sunshine, reveling in it. It reminded him, of a song. readjusting his duffel bag, he thought to himself for a bit.

Deactivating. Codename: "Ghost". Codename: "Mutter".

Slowly, things lost their dark-bluish hues, as everything came back to normal light. A good twenty-maybe-thirty minute walk, yet, Jonathan felt as though he had barely used any of his energy. The oak tree. He looked at it longingly.

A song.

"Wer Gutes tut dem wird vergeben.."

Whoever does good will be forgiven...

"So seid recht gut auf allen Wegen..."

Therefore be good in all your journeys...

"Dann bekommt ihr bald Besuch..."

Then you'll soon have visitors...

"wir kommen mit dem Liederbuch."

We'll come with the song book.

Jonathan took in a small breathe, the lyrics still in his mind, just staring straight ahead. It was a quiet song, even for those who sang in a deep voice, but in the background, it had the sense of a small sadness that was content in itself. Sighing a little, he prepared for the next verse.

"Wir sind für die Musik geboren.."

We were born for music..

"Wir sind die Diener eurer Ohren.."

We are the servants of your ears..

"Immer wenn ihr traurig seid.."

Whenever you're sad..

"spielen wir für euch."

We play for you.

The servants who played a song for those who were sad. Jonathan had hoped to become one of them, in a dream. A dream in the snow. As again the last line of the second verse came off from his voice, it lifted up into a higher line, not being quite completely baritone. Strange.. were these.. tears forming at his eyes? The oak tree.

"Wenn ihr ohne Sünde lebt..."

If you live without sin...

"Einander brav das Händchen gebt..."

And give each other a hand...

"Wenn ihr nicht zur Sonne schielt..."

If you don't squint into the sun...

"...wird für euch ein Lied gespielt."

...a song will be played for you.

Jonathan's eyes widened a little, realizing something. Something he had never noticed when he was on the pill. When he spoke.. or in this case, sang in German.. he didn't stutter. Jonathan frowned a little. Perhaps something to encourage the German part of him, thanks to his 'father'. But, it was a good song, so, he had that much more to be thankful for. Breathing in a little, he prepped for the next verse. A slow-paced song in terms of lines, but the words themselves followed one another rather quickly.

"Wir sind die Diener eurer Ohren,"

We are the servants of your ears,

"Wir sind für die Musik geboren.."

We were born for music..

"Immer wenn ihr traurig seid.."

Whenever you're sad..

"..spielen wir für euch."

..we play for you.

The interval, of a long pause, Jonathan knew about the strange music in the background that would take place at this time, if the song were to be listened to on CD, but, he just couldn't figure out what instruments were being used. Possibly just a computer-made sound, but it was sad, content, and eerie at the same time. He paused, waiting for a minute. A minute longer, he breathed in one last time.

...

"Wenn ihr nicht schlafen könnt.."

Whenever you can't sleep..

"sei euch ein Lied vergönnt,"

May you be treated to a song,

"Und der Himmel bricht,"

And heaven cracks,

"..Ein Lied fällt weich vom Himmelslicht."

..A song falls softly from the light of heaven.

At this last line, Jonathan turned back his head, looking at Phae, just looking at her. The lines fit, and he wished it to be so for Phae. Her eyes didn't look so tired now, but still, Jonathan was still left to wonder how much this Rosenrot-Hair colored child of God had deprived herself of things she needed. He continued to stare at her, his face still blank, even without the pills, but concern obvious in his eyes. Phae. The oak tree. Almost there.

"Wir sind für die Musik geboren."

We were born for music.

"Wir sind die Diener eurer Ohren."

We are the servants of your ears.

"..Immer wenn ihr traurig seid.."

..Whenever you're sad..

"..spielen wir für euch."

..We play for you.

Song from "Rosenrot", an album by Rammstein.

Jonathan, turning away his face, continued to walk, to finish the little journey. The journey to the little oak tree where he first came to Arcane Academy. A place he had often visited on weekends, just for the quiet. A place that brought him peace of mind away from the school. A place he hoped would bring peace to Phae. Almost there..