Healing a Wounded Soul (Junpei)

[Phae]

Phae lay in the arms of Junpei. He had come back to her come back finally after a week of hell. She didn't know what she was going to do or how she was going to trust him again. She noticed he was different and she knew he had done what they were supposed to do together alone and that too hurt her. He had told her she could be there and she could help and he had gone off and done it alone.

She lay near helpless to move as he carried her through the school up to their room. She hadn't been here much since he left her sword on the wall since she last worked out. The poem she had written for him was on black paper sitting on the desk. The other two copies where they were supposed to be except the one that had been in her pocket. She looked up at Jun her eyes emotionless except the tears that leaked from them. She was super light all body fat gone her eyes had that hollow look black circles underneath them.

She couldn't speak right now. Didn't want to. She had nothing to say. She was waiting. Waiting for him to speak. Waiting to know where she stood in his life now.

[Junpei]

He held her in his arms like she was glass, like if he dropped her or squeezed her to hard she would break right there. God how he hated himself, he had left her, abandoned her, how was she to trust him ever again, he he had screwed up so badly. He should have taken her, should have but he was blinded by rage and misunderstanding.

He walked into their room and quickly moved to the bed where he set her down in the very center, so she would sink in bit and be comfortable. Gods how he hoped she would recover soon. There was nothing the angel could do for this, as it was all she needed was food and some very protein heavy soups. Chicken noodle and clam chowder popped up. Both would strengthen her body and give her much needed energy.

Taking off his shirt he moved over and threw it on the desk, Loish was nowhere to be found. He then moved back over to her and very delicately brushed a strand of hair from her cheek and eye. He smiled very weakly, and very softly, his eyes still soft with her reflected in them.

He leaned down farther, eye slipping shut he didn't kiss her but softly brushed her cheek with his nose, no sound or words could convey what she meant to him. She was his everything, his sun and moon, his heart and soul. Gods how he wanted her to accept him back now, but he knew it wouldn't happen, he would b sleeping on the floor for a week he knew it. Pulling back he smiled a bit more, still loving as always.

"I Love you. I truly do... but at the time... I let the situation get in the way and... I... I... I was afraid Phaedra. I was afraid I was going to explode and tat would mean I couldn't... I'm so sorry."

[Phae]

Phae was laid on the bed by Junpei. Directly in the center and she looked over at him her eyes following every move he made. She loved him so much she watched as he took his shirt off the same one he had left in which brought back memories of that day fresh to her mind.

He moved over and sat down beside her. Her blue eyes once sparkling with life were now dull as they stared into those gray eyes that held so much comfort. The ones that had captivated her on that day, the first day they had met and fallen in love. She felt him touch her his nose on her cheek and her eyes slid closed her heart almost seeming to jump with the affection that one touch gave to her. As he pulled back her eyes slid open.

She listened to his words and more tears fell from the eyes that seemed to never stop crying. She ran her hand over to him very slowly she reached up and touched his face gently and weakly the back of her hand running down the length of it as she still didn't speak. She let her hand fall to his arm and she grabbed it gently and tugged.

She wanted him to lay down with her to hold her so she could sleep. So many things had kept her awake and one was the lack of this man next to her. She continued to tug the tears leaking from her eyes faster and faster as she needed him so badly to hold her to touch her to tell her everything was going to be all right. She needed more than anything to know that he still accepted her and loved her that he still wanted to marry her and that he would stay with her forever.

[Junpei]

Junpei was very receptive to her actions, and teh soft tug could only man one thing right now, lay down NOW! He complied and slipped in next to her, being careful he slid his arm over her stomach and came to rest on her other side. He carefully pulled her into him and could feel the lack of fat on her, it made her un-natural.

He slid her face into the crook of his necka dn the slipped his other arm under her delicate frame and lif her a bit to turn her sideways, so he could hold her and feel her. She was muc lighter, much much lighter. Gods how he missed her whiel he was gone. 7 days was to long, far to long.

[Phae]

Phae sighed as he lay down beside her. She needed his arms around her than she needed anything else in her life right now. She felt him pull her into him and she closed her eyes. She lay her head against him as he pulled her in close and she finally relaxed. She placed her hands on his chest as she curled up in his arms.

"I love you." she whispered in the lightest possible voice.

And she did. She had never fallen or wavered in her feelings for him. She loved him as much as she always had but she was still confused as to what was going to happen to them. Her eyes closed still with Junpei wrapping her protectivly in his arms she finally fell into her first sleep in a week. Her first voluntary real sleep. Not the half hour she had gotten at Xeryth's or the full night she had gotten at Jonathan's after he coaxed her to sleep. But a real true deep sleep her body going limp in Junpei's arms as her breathing became regulated.

[Junpei]

Her words ade him jump a bit, she still loed him? After all h had done adn said, after all he had not said, after... making her into this state. He was so vry tired, so very very tired adter the past weeeks ordeal in which he slept little and ate little, the fatique was catching up to him and he knew he would not last long.

"I love you too.

Were all he muttered back as he fell asleep as she dd, his arms pulling her a bit tighter to him, her warmth a welcome change from the cold mountain air and the feeling of loss every night.

He needed her now and here she was, god how he loved her. He needed ehr more han ever now, and that meant sleep was welcomed again with her here.

[Phae]

She heard his reply right before she drifted to sleep but she said nothing else. She also felt him jump as if he didn't believe that she would still love him. Of course she would she was only wounded and changed having gone through the greatest ordeal in her life.

She fell into a deep and healing sleep curled up in Junpei's arms. It was warm here after being in the cold for so long. It was here that she belonged in his arms in the warmth that was perfect. In the body that was perfectly contoured to her own. She didn't move for the longest time. Her body finally surrendering to sleep with Junpei holding her like she was the most important thing in his life as she hoped she still was. She was mad and hurt but those could be dealt with later when they had both gotten much needed sleep.

Two hours into her sleep she began to dream. Dream of the horrors that had made up the last week of her life. And she began to talk in her sleep.

"no... don't leave" she cried lightly. Dreaming of Junpei leaving her walking down the hallway and then breaking into a run. She could hear his footsteps running through her mind. She could feel the abandonment she had felt feel how her heart shattered at that exact moment not sure what was going to happen to her.

Another hour spent in silence though tears leaked from her closed eye lids she cuddled into Junpei even more if he was still there. His warmth comforting her. The way his arms held her close to him as if he would never let go was getting her through this sleep. This much needed sleep.

"don't jump... please..." she whispered her fists clutched at Junpei's chest. Not scratching just as if she was trying to grab something. This of course was Onira's dream. The one where he jumped off the edge of the city.

"No!" she woke jolting slightly. She had screamed out and now she lay her eyes closed but crying. Her body shaking slightly with the force of her sobs. "Come back... oh please come back Jun." she whispered as she cried into his chest.

[Junpei]

Sleep was something Junpei didn't much care for anymore, for it was when him and Harlow could get in little chats, well if you want to call what Junpei was chatting with Harlow. Harlow, in the whole bonding process, had been violently ripped apart, only the parts that needed to be saved were. So now bits and peices of Harlow's mind fluttered inside of Junpei's. To someone like Xeryth it might look like black wings flying everywhere.

Over the past days Junpei had collected them into a loose form, one that resembled Harlow with rather large chunks missing from the wings, left side his face, his torso, all in all it was rather creepy to the untrained mind. Junpei's however put up barriers and so Harlow was now 'caged' in a sense.

For four hours Junpei was sound asleep, loving his Phae's touch and feel back in his arms, to finally feel the warmth he had abandoned a week ago. He had left her to save himself, and her in a way, from great pain. He didn't want her to be there, he had to be totally focused on the bonding and he ad left her. He had promised her and now he had broken that promise, he would need to rebuild her trust again.

He nearly bolted upright when she screamed and within a second he was rubbing her back and cooing softly in her ear.

"I'm here. shhh I'm back, I'm never leaving again, never. I can't, not again, oh what a fool I was Phaedra."

So it went, Junpei trying to console his love and gain back her trust, her crying into his chest as he rocked them ever so gently.

[Phae]

She cried into his chest her tears rolling down his bare skin as she did so. She felt his soft gentle hands rubbing her small thin back and she heard his words but she didn't even know if she could believe him anymore. He said he wouldn't ever leave her to begin with and then he had.

She pulled back from him only far enough to look into those beautiful gray eyes with her own dull and pained sapphire ones. She touched his face so lightly her fingertips brushing his cheek as if she didn't expect it was really him. A week apart had seemed like a life time and now she was still trying to get over it and get her body back to where it should be. She had lost so much weight in that weak it was a wonder she hadn't collapsed earlier.

"Junpei..." more tears fell from the once bright blue eyes. "I ... When...you left. I didn't know... I didn't know if you still loved me.... or or or if you had given up on me. Or... if you thought... I .. I might want... that kiss." more tears amid sobs. "I ... I would... look...look at my ring... and and I didn't ... I didn't know if ... if it still meant...the same thing... I ... I never took it off.. but but I always wondered."

She curled up in him again.

"Where....where...where do I st...stand? What...am I to..to you now?" she asked still crying hoping to God he still loved her.

[Junpei]

Hearing her words, feeling her touch, seeing those tears, it was almost to much. Gods how he still loved her, loved her the way he did a week ago, a month ago, loved hr as much as he ever would. He would never give up loving her, no other, not his Phaedra, his darling, innocent, kinda, gentle, sweet, loving, so many words, Phaedra. Still holding her he continued to rub her back and spoke softly, oh so softly so she would only just hear his words.

"I still love you Phaedra, love as much as I ever have. I can't explain why I left, not now, but know... know that I am still asking you to marry me, and I still want to be yours, forever and beyond Phaedra."

He curled into her as well and they formed a tight ball, his body supporting her small an now much more delicate frame. Gods how he hated what he had don to her, what he had done to her. There was no excusing this, no denying it, no getting away from it. He had done this to her beautiful form and he was the one who would mend it, with time and love.

[Phae]

Phaedra heard his words and they seemed to heal a small wound in her shattered heart. She hugged him tightly and opened her eyes she saw the black paper on the desk with her silver ink she had written her poem the day he had left.

She pulled back and looked into his gray eyes again. They were so comforting to her in a way that nothing else in this world could ever have been. She was crying out all the sorrow and Junpei was having to deal with it. But he was the only one that could heal her and she and he both knew it.

"When...when you said you..you would come back...when you were ready. I ... I... I didn't know what that meant!" she said she moved away a little and pulled her knees up to her chest but her face still looked at Junpei. "And then...oh God...then..."

She was letting so much out right now and she needed it. Because he was the one that would heal her and he was the only one that could listen and do this. She needed his words and his words alone.

"Onira....." she sobbed harder. "He..he ... oh god!" she cried harder her eyes overflowing with the tears as they streamed down her leg onto the covers. "He... jumped." the last word a whisper. "I...i....infront of me...!"

[Junpei]

Junpei's eyes widened with the last words, Onira had committed suicide? When? How? Duh he jumped. But why, and when, and oh god what was he getting himself into again. He didn't know but right now, all that mattered was Phaedra, his loving Phaedra.

"Shh..."

He whispered pulling her into his chest, laying her down once more so she could let the hot tears flow over them and onto the bed, which at this point was a veritable lake. Phaedra's hot tears still pooled in small areas on the magical comforter and here and there they were soaking in, leaving trails. Junpei neither cared nor gave them attention, focusing instead on Phaedra.

"Shh it's OK. There's nothing you could have done. I know, I know it hurts Phaedra, I know all to well what it feels like. I don't blame you, nobody does, that was Onira's choice. You did all you could love, all you could. Shh, I'm right here, just let it all out Phaedra, let it all out."

He cuddled into her once more and pulled her softly onto his chest so she could cry to her heart's content and still be in his embrace. Gods how he wanted her to let it all out, to just cry and cry until it was all gone. He never liked her tears, of joy or of pain, but he knew what she needed now, at 2 in the morning, alone with him, she needed his support and his love, and that's all he was giving her now.

He kissed her, softly, ever so softly on the cheek, and then all over her face, everywhere but the lips, showing her in kisses of nothing but pure love and asking for forgiveness. She was hurt, and he had hurt her more than anyone ever could, he hadn't explained and he had just left, oh what a fool he had been.

[Phae]

She cried hard wrapped in Junpei's arms once more. She was so lost and she had cried so very much lately but for some reason these tears along with Junpei's words were definatly more healing than pain filled. She let him hold her and let him talk to her. And each kiss he placed on her face seemed to bring her heart closer to being whole.

She cried in his arms for an hour. Yes it was a whole hour she cried lying in Jun's arms before her tears dried and she lay quiet. She didn't miss the fact that since returning he had not kissed her on the lips. She wondered why but she wasn't going to ask she was so tired. Emotionally, physically, and she was hungry for the first time in a week she was hungry. Her stomach growled a little and she almost smiled a faint grin coming on her face as she lay in Junpei's arms.

"Junpei.." she whispered in the lightest possible voice. "I never wavered. Not for a moment did my love falter. It never will... i thought... thought you knew that."

[Junpei]

That hour had to be the longest, most painful, and yes even mind numbing, experience of his life... but not in a bad way. The pain was good, a kind of healing pain that let them both work out what was needed, find out where both saw the other, and to rekindle what had brought them together. Yes after all this Junpei was even more attracted to his fiance', her strong and resilient spirit showing threw in the face of death an anger.

Death, she had been near it when he came back to her, gods how he hated himself for that, would for a long time, but now he needed to heal and console her. Her words didn't catch him off guard, he knew she hadn't faltered, neither had he, but he had done a stupid thing and ran off before saying that.

"I know Phaedra, I know, and I never let mine waver, not for an instant. I constantly thought of you, dreamt of you, yearned for you, but the bonding... it just took to much out of me. I'm sorry I left you alone and scared love, so sorry, but please... forgive me?"

At those words he leaned in and kissed her, full and lovingly, his eyes closing to etch in the feeling once more. Gods how he missed this feeling, of her in his arms, kissing him just like this, his own body tingling wherever she touched just as it did now. Forget the past week, forge everything, he let himself melt in that soft and gentle kiss, to escape, if for only an instant, the pain he had been feeling the past 7 days.

[Phae]

Phae did smile. A real and true smile her eyes catching that light again that they had once held. She breathed in deeply as she smiled his words were what had made her smile. His words of unerring unwavering love. She looked up at him in time to feel his lips on hers.

She melted. Her heart that had once shattered was being healed as his lips touched hers. Her heart pounded in her chest heavily pounding into her rib cage. It was much like her first kiss with him oh so long ago. It felt exactly like that to her and her arms reached up and placed a gentle hand on his cheek as she returned the kiss with all the passion and love she could gather and give to him.

Her body came alive underneath this one kiss. She wanted so badly to take him. She wanted to feel his love for her in everyway physical and mental but she knew she might not be strong enough not to fall asleep half way. As it was her eyes were heavy enough from the crying. She finally broke the kiss and her eyes opened holding even more sparkle. Some of the old Phae coming through this time.

"Jun. I love you so much. I want you to know that I would never leave you for another. That kiss meant nothing to me. It was he that kissed me. I didn't want to. I thought something was wrong. Please.... please...oh please don't leave me." she begged.

She reached up and lay another heated kiss on his lips and began to run her hand slowly up and down his bare chest.