Healing a Wounded Soul (Junpei)

[Junpei]

He listened, slowly and carefully the words filled his head and he thought, just resting there on her chest, with his eyes closed. It was funny really, how easily stuff like this could just make time fly by, two whole hours he had slept on after she had awoken, maybe he should start holding her tighter. Either way the idea sounded good, the trip, the day together, the outside… he had been outside a lot lately.

“Sounds splendid. For now though, why don’t we just stay here? It’s comfy and I’m only half awake, and you’re really soft, and comfy, did I mention you’re comfy?”

He said nuzzling in a bit, his nose gently pushing at the material around her neck, his eyes still closed. Just feeling her out, just to fell that sensation heightened by the lack of sight, gods it was good. Nuzzling a bit more he finally settled and stayed close to her, pressed against her small frame, his hands holding the small of her back and her waist. It felt really good to have her like this, to sleep like this was divine and that singing, he wouldn’t ask her for more, forced singing wasn’t something he could see her doing.

Smilign to imself he kissed her collar bone and then set back again, he couldn’t keep from kissing her, having her back was just so good and so relaxing. His heart was beating evenly again, he didn’t have headaches and fights in his mind like before. The constant worry had left him, the constant doubt of love, hell he had even doubted if she would like him when he got back. But no, she had remained loving as ever and he had stayed the same as well, two flames burned much brighter than one however.

[Phae]

Phae heard his words. She really did want to go out. But she would wait till he was ready because she certainly didn't want to leave him here by himself. She had only just gotten him back and so she was definatly going to stick around for a while.

"All right." she said and lay down her body still curled around him. She felt his lips on her collar bone and it sent shivers down her spine.

"Jun, sweetie... love..." she began. "If you keep kissing me.. you're going to find yourself busy for the next hour."

She leaned down into his ear and began to whisper how badly she needed and wanted him and what parts in particular that all young children should never hear about before she moved back and closed her eyes with a smile on her face. She ran her hands through his hair wondering what he thought about that.

[Junpei]

Her words, at first, had him smirking a bit, her little games had him going, just dreaming of the thigs they could do in an hour. Then she leaned down and began to whisper, ever so softly about what exactly they coul do, what he knew she could do and what she might be able to do. He gulped down his own heart and tried not to shudder with the images than ran threw his mind.

Controlling himself little by little he managed to lean up adn catch her under the chin, placing a butterfly kiss there and then nipping at the nape of her neck. he smiled, kissing a bit down till he hit the material of her shirt. Smiling still he leaned back and looked up at her.

"Well love you're just impossible to let go of, and with such silky smooth skin, how can I not indulge?"

With that he leaned up more and kissed below her ear, then up and grabbed her ear lobe and sucked on it softly before whispering his own ideas into her head, teasing her back, making her own mind reel with delight and wonder. He wondered how long she would last lik this, with them going back and forth, she was healing quickly to, very quickly, the inate magic within the academy had to have an effect. Also it could be that when he was in that angelic form, he had healed her a bit with his undlying magic.

[Phae]

Phae felt better than she had in weeks and it was all thanks to the work of the academy and she had a sneaking suspicsion that Junpei's angel form had a lot do with it. She was definatly still thin but that was something that had to be dealt with slowly. She wasn't tired yet but she could already feel fatigue wearing on her.

Junpei's words began to make her heart beat faster as did the lips on her neck her weak spot and he knew it and used it against her on a daily basis. She sighed as her eyes closed and she listened to what he whispered in her ear. Problem was he seemed afraid to touch her so this would only serve to make her torture more as she had to sit and wait until he deemed her healed enough.

She sighed and lay down her head on the pillow she smoothed down her skirts and almost pouted. She wanted to get out of this room or she was liable to go nuts. She stared up at the stars trying to concentrate on them but it was no luck.

"Junpei Taltos that was about the cruelest thing you could have done to a girl who hasn't seen the love of her life in seven long agonizing touchless days." she said as she stared up at the ceiling though she was smiling it was true. "You going to do something about it or let me suffer until I LEAVE you."

This last part was said jokingly but it was true in a way. If he didn't make a decision the tension in the room was going to go to an all time high and she would be taking a walk through a cold river to bring it down.

[Junpei]

Hearing her little joke about leaving he laughed softly, almost a chuckle, and nuzzled her neck softly, smiling. He wouldn't leave her and he was pretty confident she wouldn't leave him, not unless he kept this little teasing session up which he cold win very easily.

"Alright love, I submit, we can go to the garden and stretch a bit. I do plan to take a book though, I have to catch up on classes."

He sighed at the last part, a full week away, damn he was going to be behind by leaps and bounds. Maybe some extra credit would help... like showing his summoners teacher his new form... or maybe not.

"I do however need fresh clothes and a shower, so I will be back in twenty minutes, promise, and then we can go. Try to eat something more for me?"

He got up slowly, reluctantly, and gave her one last kiss before slipping over to the closet. He grabbed a fresh black t-shirt. Then he moved and got into he dresser, grabbing boxers, socks, dress slacks, yes slacks, and finally he grabbed his sneakers before moving to the door. he turned and looked at her before he left, smiling he tapped his wrist and then pointed to the clock.

"Twenty minutes, promise."

He was gone and he was racing. He got into the showers, empty right no, and thanked god for the privacy. There would be many questions come tomorrow he knew it. He slipped out of his clothes and got not a nice warm shower, his first in a week, well warm at least, and quickly cleaned up. he made sure he was cleaned over twice before drying and dressing, finally pulling the shirt down to finish his dress, sixteen minutes was all it took.

Four minutes later found him opening the door, throwing dirty clothes in the hamper, and smiling to his fiance'.

"Ready to go love?"

[Phae]

Phaedra sighed the moment he left the room. So he still thought she was weak. Well she was but man her body was telling her something completly different. She stood up from the bed and ran a brush through her hair and put on her flip flops as she figured she could take them off when she got to the courtyard.

He wanted her to eat something but she wasn't hungry she had eaten an apple two hours ago. She grabbed an orange to take with her just in case she got hungry while out and grabbed her own class books. She hadn't been to class... she wondered if Junpei knew that. No he probably didn't and he might be mad if he found out all the things she had and hadn't done while he was gone. She had officially let her life fall off the planet.

She grabbed the poem she had written for him at the last minute and carefully placed it in her book. He needed to know what had happened in her heart, soul, and mind and it was as good a time as any to let him know. She was sitting in the chair. Books in her lap and orange sitting on top of the books when Junpei came back.

"Yes, I'm ready." she said and stood up happily a smile on her face.

[Junpei]

"Good good, let me grab my book and we can go."

He noted the orange and was fooled into thinking she had actually eaten something and was bringing more, he was even more elated and actually ran to to the closet to grab his book. OF course it wasn't anything special, just a little book called Magic: A Guide to the Impractical, and came back. He didn't let her walk, oh no he still thought her recovering. Slipping the book under the orange he scooped her up from the chair, bridal style and laughed a bit, he was elated right now.

Here he was, back after a week of nothing, and she was eating, sleeping, doing everything she used to, and he was totally oblivious to the fact that she was still slightly depressed. He kissed her, lightly, and then made his way to the door, balancing her, books on her stomach, eh opened the door and then closed it behind him, having every intention to lead her to the gardens this way.

So he did, taking each corridor slowly and carefully he led her out to the dormitory gardens, a nice little place where they could sit and relax in a meadow like setting, and Junpei smiled down at his love.

"Well, this fine?"

[Phae]

She did not expect to be carried at all. Yes, she was still a bit weak and was finding herself tiring easily but after so long of no food too much excercise and not enough sleep she was making up for lost time. She kept one arm on the books and the orange as he carried her out in true embarrassment fashion through the halls of the dormitory and out into the garden.

He sat her down and she looked around hearing his question. Yes, of course it was good why wouldn't it be. She could lay out in the grass and just think and read and try to let go of more things from the past.

"Yes, this is perfect." she told him and took off her shoes immediatly letting her feet sit in the grass. She smiled at the feeling. It reminded her of home and how she and Phoebe used to sit in the grass and read.

She sat her orange to the side and picked up her school book. She opened it at the precise moment a breeze blew by and the black paper carrying her poem in silver writing flew straight at Jun sticking to his shirt. Oh no! she thought and her eyes grew wide...crap I meant to talk to him about it first.

[Junpei]

She got down and set down, sliding out of her sandals and getting ready to read, then something smacked him in the chest. Looking down Junpei grabbed up the black paper and looked at the silver ink. He read the poem on it quickly, it stung justa bit.

[glow=Purple,5,900]I walk through the darkness of my mind,
here in the dark it is the only place I belong.
It is here I walk through the empty caverns of my mind,
I can hear the drip drop of my soul as it slowly slips away.

It is here I have retreated when my heart died,
the day you left I felt the fragile glass crack.
As the shinning pieces fall through the darkness
I see your face reflected in their depths.

I shiver in the cold
Where has the warmth of your presence gone?
the chill is harsh and constricting my life seeps away
lost to the depths of the closing darkness.

To survive without you
is to ask for my soul
it is this that drips down above me
will I ever be warm again?[/glow]

The whole thing just sunk in, of how hurt she really had been. He had read enough to know exactly what the words meant and he just stood there holding the paper for a long time, trying to sort out what it was he was feeling. Regret, pain, a bit of anger, and even fear. Had he really left her feeling so lost and alone, so unforgivably sad that he had let her write these words threw his actions. He didn't know but he lowered his hand and gave her the paper, sitting down next to her he did one simple action, he cupped her chin and brought hr into a sweet and loving kiss.

"I'm sorry."

Was all he said as he carefully broke the kiss and the words left his lips a mere second later. He was indeed sorry for what he made her feel now, how painful it must have been. Taking her hand in his he laced their fingers and just smiled softly over at her, showing her he was not mad nor the least bit angry with her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you like that Phaedra, but I'm glad you can let me back in, and I'm thousands of times more amazed by you now. SO able to trust again, after what I did, I'm so sorry love."

[Phae]

Phaedra watched in absolute horror as he read the poem before she had a chance to say what she had planned to tell him before hand and she watched his face run through emotions before he handed it back to her.

Then came the sweet and loving kiss that seemed to wipe her mind of everything all at once. She opened her eyes and listened to his words each one warming her exponentiallly.

"Junpei, I wrote that on the day you left me. Each day, after that my pain grew at the loss of you. Many thoughts ran through my mind that day. And they stayed through out the entire time you were gone. My life... was in turmoil with you gone. It was as if part of me had left when you did and none of it returned." she moved closer and leaned against him.

"Do you want to know.. what happened to land me in the hospital? It will be hard to hear. I won't tell you if you don't want to know. But I love you and I will tell you if you wish."

[Junpei]

He listened to her words and shook his head, he could guess. She was obviously malnurished, she had had dark circles under her eyes, and she looked as though she had worked herself to the bone. It wasn't hard to see, hard to feel when she was in his arms. She had worked herself to death and neither ate nor slept, easy deduction for Junpei.

"I know what happened love, I could tell, it wasn't that hard. Just please..."

He leaned in and nudged her chin up with his nose and then sweetly kissed the side of her neck. He pulled back only an inch to speak, his head still slipped under her chin, his cheek touching the soft skin under her chin.

"... don't try it again."

He carefulyl pulled back and gave her another smile, he wasn't mad, never had been, not at her, just at himself for abandoning her like that. He would be for a while, never forgetting those words that had conveyed so well what she had been feeling. Leaning in again he brushed his nose against hers, very carefully placing his lips just before hers, his eyes half open to gaze dreamily into his love's saphire pools.

"I must say though, you have a flare for poetry."

[Phae]

Phae figured he had known what she had done to herself most could just by looking at her. She had overdone everything and to the extreme. She moved over and pulled herself in his lap leaning back into his arms after he had kissed her.

"I promise never to do it again if you promise never to leave me with so little information. I was scared Jun.." she said not looking at him she was already getting tired again. "Scared you had left me because of a kiss I never asked for. Scared that you decided I wasn't worth it and scared you thought that I would never be the right girl again.. somehow tainted."

A few tears fell down her face but she kept her head forward so that he wouldn't see. She wiped them away only to have them replaced again with fresh ones.

"But I had some help along the way." she told him. "Xeryth was a great friend. He even held my hand and let me sleep.. for thirty minutes I slept.. in his room.. before I passed out and ended up in the recovery wing. And Jonathan who you haven't met yet. He.. I fell asleep when he hugged me and he stayed by me all night one hand on my forehead so that I could sleep. My only night of sleep. But each helped even more than that. They both listened to my story and they both gave me advice that helped me stay strong a little longer."

"Xeryth especially helped. I was so worried you wouldn't come back. So worried about all my fears coming true. But he helped by telling me if you ever really did love me then you would come back. And I looked inside my heart really hard and saw that you did. It gave me a bit more to hold onto. But I couldn't hold on forever. I just couldn't. I was waiting to hear your voice say my name and when I was in the hospital that was all I was waiting for as stupid as it sounds. I was waiting for my name called by none other than you. I needed to know you had come back after all. I needed to know that you cared enough to come find me and then there you were surrounded by my closest friends and you came to save me."

"I had to tell Xeryth to step down. He got very protective of me over the week I was like this. He was angry and he was sad to see me like that. He had to carry me down to the hospital ward by himself and he never left my side for a moment. I could.. feel him if that makes any sense at all."

She took a deep breath but did not turn back to look at Junpei yet. These were things among others she needed him to hear if she was ever going to be the happy Phae she once was.

"I am healing now. But my trust in the world was damaged. I am slowly trying to regain it but it will take time. That is what I need from you. I need you to treat me like the Phaedra you have always loved. I need to know that the same steady Junpei will always be here for me and that when I need him most he is there at my side ready willing and able to help me out as I would him. I am trying so hard to be happy normal Phae for you and it's hard because so much still hurts inside. But what I need most from you right this moment and for the rest of my life. Is your love and acceptance. I need these because without you the girl in the hospital will come back and she won't leave so easily."

"Can you do that?" she asked in a whisper

[Junpei]

The long and descriptive tale of all that had happened over the week carried him along, he held her lightly in his arms and was squeezing her closer at some of the high points. A couple shots of jealousy ran threw him at the sound of two other men in the same bed as her, no matter how innocent it was kind of hard for him, yay for male instinct. The end was where he was holding her a bit more tightly, cradling her body into his and leaning his head down a bit, so he could whisper in her ear when she finished her tale.

So, as it ended and she asked him to remain the same Junpei he had always been he simply whispered yes in her ear, not to soft, not to loud, just the level she needed to hear. It gave it a firm and stable tine, one that was truthful an meant that he would see it threw.

He shifted a bit and set her sideways on his lap, there he carefully stroked a hand threw her hair and used the other to support her, he wished there was a tree nearby for them to lean on, but he would hold them both up right now. The hand in her hair would occasionally brush away a bang and then go back to it's idle work. He remained quiet with her for a long while, just sitting with her, reassuring her threw touch and feel, and letting her work out what she needed in her mind.

Half an hour pasted before Junpei even considered speaking, finding the silence between them almost enough to convey what they felt and knew, that this would be a long road and that they would be taking it together, no forks in the road, no splitting them up.

A soft breath marked his re-entry to conversation and he leaned over a bit more, nuzzling his nose on hers as he spoke softly, the gentle action just another comfort for her to build on.

"I love you."

Was all he had to say in order to have his eyes close and let his actions continue, the soft action of someone who didn't want to disturb the whole situation. All in all, it was one of the most memorable times of his life, this moment right here, holding her and comforting her, just in this oft grassy meadow that the school had provided for people to relax, almost perfect if it hadn't been under such circumstances.

[Phae]

Phaedra breathed an audible sigh of relief when he said that he would remain the same towards her. But some of the things she needed to hear from him he left unspoken and so her mind began to run wild with these unspoken things. She knew that Jun was no mind reader and there was no way for him to know what it was she really needed to hear at the moment but still.. it was as if by not saying anything he was saying that his thoughts were her fears.

Thirty long minutes of silence drew by and though his hand running through her hair was definatly a comfort her mind did not settle down. It was running over her speel wondering and picking and tearing apart all the things he hadn't commented on. He finally took in a breath and she looked up wondering what after all this time he had worked out and was about to tell her.

"I love you."

She couldn't help but be disappointed. She did love him but she knew he loved her. But her fears were eating her alive. She smiled up at him it was a fake smile but it was the best she had.

"I love you too."

She stretched a little playing actress and got out of his lap. She sat down on the grass and then thought better of it and laid down on her stomach her legs in the air as if she was the happiest Phae on earth.

"We should study. It's what we came out here to do. I'm as behind as you are. I haven't been to class in over a week." she said with a shrug.

She opened her book to the page she had been on last and her eyes began scanning the page until they stopped lost in thought. She didn't move or turn the page she just kept staring at the book pretending to read but her mind going nuts feasting on her fears.

[Junpei]

He could tell when she was acting, mainly because her eyes betrayed their owner and showed that there was something that had eaten at her. He didn't know what it was, but he wanted to figure this out now, while they were being open and honest, he needed to know what she needed to hear. Like she stated, he was no mind reader, he was... mostly human, and he was still a guy. He usually let actions speak louder than words, but now she needed words not actions, she needed something he hadn't given her.

Moving beside her, on his own stomach, Junpei pressed his side to hers and gave her a little nudge, prompting hr to look his way. After that he would lean his head to the side a bit and smile softly, trying to set her up for what he was going to say.

"What's wrong? I can tell something is eating at you, you're eyes betray you love, and I love your eyes, so tell me, what is it that you need?"

He didn't know what she would say, if anything, more than likely she would shrug it off and say he was thinking into it to much, but no one went from that quiet, shy state to totally and completely like they were before in thirty minutes, maybe thirty days, but not thirty minutes, no she needed to tell him, and he would press her for it.