Healing a Wounded Soul (Junpei)

[Phae]

Phae felt the nudge and she almost sighed. Damn... so much for acting he had found her out too easily which could only mean he actually paid attention and watched for cues of true happiness which he had seen during their first meeting oh so long ago until that fateful day only a week ago.

She looked over at him and nodded. She knew what he was going to say and she was right when he did say it and admitted love for her betraying eyes. Silently she cursed her eyes for being the not happy pools they were at the moment.

She sat up and let out a long breath. She stood up and began to pace a little trying to think of how to put this. She was trying to get all her thoughts together to not seem harsh when what she really wanted to do was just scream at him about how he could have left her and it might yet come to that because every time he said he loved her that fight rose in her throat. She stopped and she looked down at him.

"I love you... what does that mean to you? What do you think about me now? Jun? Do you know? Do you have the strength to tell me that you do still love me? Can you tell me that I'm not tainted that you won't leave me? Can I believe you? What do I do at night when I worry that you don't love me? What do I do during the day when I remember that damned lonely feeling that left me bereft of all emotion? What does it mean that you will kiss me so much that I tell you I want you but then you decide to leave the room? Am I revolting now? What has happened? I don't understand? I don't know how you feel or what you think about me anymore? Am I tainted now that someone kissed me? Am I forever going to be this fragile thing you are afraid to grab ahold of and just cling too? I will not break damnit!" she said tears sprouting from her eyes as she screamed and ranted. She was mad.. oh yes she was very mad, she was hurt, and she was lost. I don't know who I am to you anymore..."

She fell in the grass sobbing as she curled up in a ball as tight as she could and waited for the answers. Or the sounds of him leaving her. She wouldn't blame him. She had changed. She was not the same girl. She had just yelled at him for the first time in their relationship and so ... it was their first fight. She didn't know how he would take it but if he left she knew what her one option would be and she was ready to carry it out.

[Junpei]

He listened to her words silently and knew she was letting it all out, all that pent up stuff that had been building, anger, hate, frustration, want, everything had culminated into this one moments and now she poured it out. As she fell to the grass and curled into a ball he moved over to her and pulled her back into his lap, carefully holding her he just did that, held her, and spoke softly.

"Phaedra, when I say I love you, I mean, I love you. I don't mean I love who you were then, who you are now, or who you will be, I mean I love the person you are period. I don't see you tainted in any way, I don't think you spoiled or unworthy, if anything I find myself unworthy of your touch, of your simple speech, but you let me in again. I can't ask you to forgive what I have done in the past, for it is now gone and not forgivable, I deserted you and for that I truly do apologize. But Phaedra, love, You stand with me were you have always stood, right beside me, right where you and I belong."

Now came the hard part, admitting to her that the reason was careful, was for his own peace of mind.

"As for... 'breaking' you, I can only say that I'm worried, because I'm afraid to hurt you again, I'm afraid to move to fast, to do anything that could possibly make you hate me, I'm scared of myself and what I might do to you again, because that is a fate worse than death, to lose you. So please, don't think ourself any less because of the past, you are, and always will be, my one true love, and my Phaedra. I want you to be happy, always happy, and I screwed that up, I really did."

He fell silent as he brooded over what he had just said, it was true, all of it, fearing to hurt her again, not seeing her as tainted or dirty, only seeing her as his angel, his lovely angel that had accepted him into her heart.

[Phae]

Phaedra stopped crying as he sat her in his lap and began to speak she didn't want anything to get in the way of this. She wanted and needed to hear everything every word that came from his mouth was important as if her life hung on those very words.

After he spoke them and fell silent she sat in her own silence for quite sometime before she gained enough strength and sorted out enough things in her mind that she could feel a bit more emotions now her heart sore but not so shredded now. She clung to him as she let herself cry. It was a healing cry. One that she needed to have. One that would enable her to move past many things in her life and let her become more like the person she was.

Thirty long minutes later Jun had a wet shirt but Phae felt as if she had just had a huge weight lifted off her shoulder. She pulled back and wiped her eyes her first real and true happy smile came as she looked up at Jun. She smiled up at him and kissed him on the lips lovingly letting it linger momentarily before she pulled back.

"I feel... better... almost... good." she said truthfully. Her eyes had a bit more of that old Phae sparkle in them he would see it. She kissed his cheek gently and hugged him one last time before leaving a kiss on his neck and climbing out of his lap.

"I do love you. Thank you for the words. I needed to hear every one of them." she admitted and ran a hand through his hair. "Now, I'm really going to study this time and so should you."

She lay down on her stomach once more but this time for real. One arm cradled her head in the grass while the other held her book open. She began to read but soon her eyelids closed and the book flopped out of her hand and Phae fell asleep in the sun. Her red hair seemed to glow brightly and Phae's pale skin seemed almost ethereal as she fell into a deep sleep in the comfort of the sun. Knowing Jun's feelings for her exactly and a small smile on her face as she was truly healing now.

[Junpei]

Hearing her words and watching her actions he nodded and followed suit, rolling back onto his stomach next to her he yawned and lazily opened his book, taking care to not fold any pages. He wondered ow long it would be before they both got hungry again, Junpei would be quite a whiel coming, Phaedra however he wanted eationg still. He lazily turned a page and stared at the words of the book just as Phaedra drifted off to her dreams next to him.

Looking over at her he smiled and kissed her temple before marking her place and moving the book away. He didn't move her though, except to move her arm under her head so she would sleep comfortably.

So Junpei read while she slept, and he hoped she slept well.

[Phae]

Phaedra slept blanketed only by sunlight her love next to her catching up on the school work he missed. She dreamt of their life together in the future. Of how wonderful it would be to live her life with him. She moaned in her sleep only slightly thinking about the time he left but it was quickly replaced by the happier times they had spent together and her fears chased away by the words he had told her today.

One hour later she woke her eyes fluttering open slowly getting used to the sun she moved a little as she tried to wake up but she was still very sleepy. She saw Junpei close to her and she moved over to him curling up beside him so she touched him. She fell back asleep.

[Junpei]

Junpei spent the hour working, making small mental notes, and folding certain pages to save them for notes later. This book was a good way for him to catch up in all classes quickly, each chapter covering a different area or feild of magic.

About an hour later Phaedra moved a bit and snuggled up to him, then drfited off again. he smiled to himelf and draped his left arm over her shoulders, flipping the pages with his right he marked them still adn awaited her awakening.

[Phae]

Phaedra woke an hour after she had moved next to Junpei her eyes fluttering open and the first thing she saw was Junpei and she smiled. She sat up and nuzzled his neck gently with the tip of her nose.

"Sorry love. I didn't mean to fall asleep. Forgive me?" she asked as she kissed just behind his ear and then down his neck her attentions obviously not focus on studying right now.

She kissed his cheek and lay down in the grass she looked at the orange but made no move to pick it up or eat it. She lay her back on the ground staring up at Junpei as if he were the only thing in this world.

[Junpei]

He was busy, chewing on his lower lip as he read on, another hour passed and he was halfway through the book when something stirred next to him. He figured she was just readjusting again, that was until she asked forgiveness for falling asleep, and planted kisses on him.

He slipped a bit and slid farther into her in the process, nudging her a bit as he did. As she kissed his cheek and rolled over he slowly slid the book closed, marking it and placing it on top of hers he moved and leaned over her, smiling down. He leaned down and kissed her, softly and sweetly, and then deepened it a second later. he broke only to nuzzle his nose to hers and then continued, placing another kiss on her lips. This kiss was passionate and lustful, he would let her determine how far it went now. She had clearly stated she wouldn't brake, let her show and prove it he thought. Breaking away he spoke very softly.

"Nothing to forgive, if you had been up I wouldn't have gotten any studying done at all."

[Phae]

Phaedra felt the devouring kiss that Junpei gave her that left her wanting way more than he had given. She looked up at him and she smiled. He had a look about him that said... 'come and get it'.

She had missed him so much. Her body still constantly tired from the lack of sleep but she had just woken up from a two hour nap and she was feeling rather refreshed. She moved over to him and kissed him hard and lustfully as she moved closer her hand running through his hair. She wanted to be with him so badly. In more ways than one. Not just a physical way but in every way.

"Do you want to go back to our room?" she asked in a soft heated whisper.

[Junpei]

The heated kiss and the touch had him reeling and lusting over her, his body already warming to her touch. He gave her an almost evil smirk and nodded at her words, speaking back in a whisper he leaned lower and kissed her neck, grazing his teeth over her skin as he did so. The words escaped between kisses.

"Of.. course.. love."

he pulled back long enough to grab the books and ignored the orange, free food for some animal later. he helped her up and was carrying her again before another moment had passed.

He must have been going twice as fas as before when he ran back to their room and was in with little trouble, only having to set her down a moment to fiddle with he lock. H cursed as the door finally opened and he turned to her. He threw, yes threw, the two books across the room and they hit the desk, sliding to a point they stopped with a ruffle of papers. he pulled her into the room rather rough and closed the door, pressing her up against it he laced her hands with his and kissed her, very deeply, and his tongue was lashing out to invade her mouth, trying to force it's way in, of course she coudl very easily just let im in.

[Phae]

Suddenly she found herself being picked up after a truly mischevious grin from Junpei. She loved being carried in his arms it was here she felt really and truly safe but it seemed this time he just wanted to hurry back to the room. So books balanced once more on her stomach the orange forgotten behind uneaten by her they made their way quickly back to the room.

Once the door was open and Jun did something she never thought in her life time she would see and it was likely she would never see it again. He threw his and her books over to the desk. She moved into the room and as soon as the door was closed he pressed her up against the wall with obvious desire in his kiss and touch.

She knew this was it. It was finally going to happen. She jumped up into his arms wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as she began to suck and nibble on his neck lustfully. One hand held her up while the other continued runing through his hair over and over again almost hungrily.

[Junpei]

He smiled wickedly as she leaped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, his hair began to move around again as she ran a hand threw it and held herself up. He pulled her back and, still letting her work on his neck, moved to the bed where he proceeded to lay both of them down, her on top.

He smiled as he quickly freed himself of the t shirt and shoes, they came off easily enough, and he then remembered that her shoes were back in the meadow. Guess lost and found was handy for something. Taking her back into his arms he kissed her neck, bite, sucked, and nipped until a red mark developed at the base, and then his hands began to roam, following every curve, pushing up her shirt with each rising stroke, until it as exposing her entire mid rift. He danced his fingers over her stomach, a light tickle, a spot he knew to be a weakness in this type of game.

[Phae]

She knew that this was actually going to happen now. It was different than when he had kissed her earlier. It was as if his hands were roaming up and down her body trying to memorize her every curve again now that he had been so long without her.

She kissed him hungrily forcing him away from her neck as her tongue thrust into his mouth as she explored the cavern avidly moans escaping from her mouth into his as her hands ran through his hair and down his chest moving up and down his neck devouring his flesh.

"Junpei.." she whispered in the second it took to move from his lips to his neck on the sweet spot that drove him wild and she latched on her hands still roaming his body hungrily.

[Junpei]

Sh whispered his name after that kiss, that devouring kiss, and he lost it, he rolled her and took more control, more control than ever. He pinned her arms over her head, using one of his hands to lock around both wrist. His mouth devoured every inch of skin between her jawline and the top of her shirt. Finally he pulled her shirt off and kissed her again, only a quick one though, for now he was going to pay her back for a week of nothing, of nothing but a cold bed.

Moving down he softly kissed her stomach, just above the navel and then worked up, rising until he was at her neck again, each kiss hot and needy. He kissed her once more and then broke it to whisper to her.

"I love you Phaedra."

[Phae]

One hour and some odd minutes later


Phaedra now lay beside Jun his arms wrapped around her very thin form as now he could definatly see the damage she had done to her body full force. She cuddled up next to him her eyes closed her hand moving up and down his chest lightly.

"Jun, I love you. I'm so happy you are back. I feel so complete. So ... happy." she said and smiled a really true smile.

Phae looked up into the eyes of her lover her own eyes were now bright and happy. Her skin seemed to glow and a smile crossed her face. It was as if the couple had proved their love for the first time all over again in her mind. It was perfect in every way to her and she couldn't have been happier if it were their wedding night at the moment... well.. maybe but still.

She kissed his chest lightly her lips lingering on his skin as she did so placing three kisses on his chest. If he didnt' know.. which he probably didn't the day after he left had been their three month anniversary and she had his gift in the end table having bought it several weeks before.

She turned over and grabbed the small square box. The box was black and from a magical jewelry shop in the city that she had saved up all her money from home to go to and buy this one gift. Inside the box was a ring made of white gold the band at least half an inch thick. In the center was a black onyx stone and inside the ring engraved was
'Junpei- my dearest love- Phae

She placed the little black box on his chest.

"Happy anniversary as of last Saturday." she said brightly and waited impatiently for him to open it. The stone would help him concentrate and focus on his dark magic it was made especially for him never having been worn before him made with him in mind and only him. Engraved on either side of the stone were two runes of the dark magic she had no idea if they really meant 'focus' and 'concentration' but that's what she had been told.